http://darwen.us/southcon

Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:26:00 +0000

This blog is now on indefinite hiatus. I've had an opportunity to be an anonymous contributor at another blog, and I think I'll do that for a while.

If you're interested in details, send me an email at darrell@darwen.us.

That's all for now. Be well!

8 Years, 6 Months, 2 Weeks and 4 Days...

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:34:00 +0000

...but, hey, who's counting?

Here's Ed from BNL to sing us out...

Quick Post

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:53:00 +0000

Recovering alcoholics say that you have to take it one day at a time. When that isn't working, take it one hour at a time. And when it gets really desperate, take it a minute at a time.

That advice has been on my mind, though I'm not really sure if it's applicable to present circumstances. Wendy and the kids leave this Friday. I just keep thinking "If I can make it through this week, if I can make it through this week..."

Separating is hard. It's hard on all of us ... the kids and my spouse and me, too. I guess it's obvious that, of the two of us, I'm the one who's more reluctant about this change. Well, hell, "reluctant" isn't the word. "Panicked" is a good word. "Dread" seems to fit in there somewhere.

There's an old Tori Amos lyric that comes to mind, too:

I got a bowling ball in my stomach,
Got a desert in my mouth.
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now.

The more I think about it, the more sure I am that I'm gonna retire this blog and begin again on totally anonymous terms. A few people have asked me to e-mail them my new URL, and that makes me feel good. (Just keep it on the down low, homie. And I'll use a little more discretion this time with regard to the people I tell about my blogging hobby.)

I've been trying to think of a new URL. I need to do it soon while the terms with my web host will let me get one on the cheap.

I've amused myself with a few ideas that I thought were original and fairly funny ... only to find that they're already taken...

The one that I liked the most was Fear And Loafing.com, but of course it's already registered. No, I won't provide a link. Those bums stole my idea before I even had a chance to think of it, so they can generate their own traffic.

Oh, and here's something I found at Cracked.com, of all places. This really cheered me up some, and it's surprisingly thought provoking. Go check out Cracked's Five Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't). (Language Warning)

I'm trying to focus on positive stuff, like my upcoming summer visits from my son and the fact that I've actually been eating healthier and exercising lately and I feel better for it. I really am trying to stay positive.

But I keep coming back to one thing: "If I can just make it through this week..."

Little Or No Blogging For A Little While

noreply@blogger.com (Darwen.us/southcon) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:49:00 +0000

There's a lot going on, I might not blog much for the next week or so.

The upcoming week will be difficult. There's a lot of packing that remains to be done and other things to be sorted out. A lot of it is heavy stuff that I don't want to go into here. Writing about my feelings for therapy is one thing ... but writing about someone else's feelings is something else entirely. I don't want to do that.

On top of that, my employer announced some major restructuring and a lay-off today. I think I'll still have my job, but a big paycut is unavoidable.

I have another tumor resection scheduled for the week of the 20th, too ... so that might take some of my time.

Thanks to the friends who keep in touch with me through this blog and have sent me supportive e-mails. It's helped a lot and it means a lot. I really, really appreciate it. I started this blog mostly as a fun way to communicate with three or four real-life friends who've moved away from this area. Having picked up three or four new "blog buddies" along the way has been fun, too. And I'm really grateful for the support that all of you have shown.

But, anyway...

It's come to my attention that a certain busy-body has probably been reading my blog ... someone on the periphery of my life ... and drawing her own conclusions and spouting off. My StatCounter info shows a number of hits from the area where this particular, unpleasant little person lives. Same ISP, too. It's unfortunate, but it's one of the side-effects of this particular hobby. Therefore, I'll very likely change my URL and blogger handle soon, and revert to something completely anonymous. It's the only way to deal with this kind of nonsense from someone who apparently has little else to do. I'll send the new blog info to those six or eight of you who are the only ones I write this stuff for, anyway.

Be well, I'll talk to you soon.

Spider-Man 4 News

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:19:00 +0000

Not sure what to think about this ... Sam Raimi has revealed that the villain in 2011's Spider-Man 4 will be a new villain made by combining Venom and Sandman, the bad guys from the last film.

Concept art has been revealed on YouTube:

100 Movies To See Before You Die

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 07:39:00 +0000

Because you won't enjoy them as much after you die.

Yahoo! has put together one of those lists. I've seen 65 of their 100.

It's a source of great shame for me that I still haven't watched Lawrence Of Arabia. My buddy Otis gave it to me for Christmas five or six years ago and I still haven't watched it. Because I suck.

HT for the link: My friend, Kelley, who doesn't keep a blog but does have a Myspace page. Kelley's a huge movie buff, too ... but he and I never like the same movies.

Wait, I take that back, we both liked Training Day quite a bit. Other than that, if we agree on any given movie, it's usually because we both think it stinks.

Kelley even found some good things to say about Rob Zombie's Halloween, a movie I hated. Deep down I think he's only doing that to mess with my head. ;)

For The Guy Who Has Read Everything

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:25:00 +0000

Here's an item you don't see on the average bookshelf:

A heavyweight study of the future of soft cheese won Britain's annual competition to find the year's oddest book title on Friday.

The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais, by Philip M. Parker won the Diagram Prize, awarded by trade magazine The Bookseller...

Fromage frais — literally "fresh cheese" — is a dairy product that originated in France and has a similar consistency to sour cream.

Sounds like a fascinating read. But the $795.00 I'd have to shell out for a new copy at Amazon is a bit daunting.

I think I'll wait for the movie.

Bow To Leper Messiah

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 07:37:00 +0000

Holy crap, man. Not that I'm defending Rick Wagoner, but should ANY politician have this kind of power over the private sector?

-- General Motors Corp. Chief Executive Officer Rick Wagoner was forced out after President Barack Obama’s task force decided he was unable to craft a plan to save the automaker he ran for more than eight years.

Wagoner, 56, said he agreed to an administration request to leave. Chief Operating Officer Fritz Henderson will become CEO and director Kent Kresa will succeed Wagoner as chairman. GM had been seeking as much as $16.6 billion in new U.S. loans after an initial installment of $13.4 billion.

Pay attention, fellow free marketers. Just because we're paranoid, that doesn't mean that they ain't really out to get us.

Things I Learn The Hard Way, 3

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 05:13:00 +0000

If you're 40 years old and you can no longer use the phrase "my ex-wife" because it's not specific enough, you're probably doing something wrong.

Camera Man, You Gettin' This?

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 05:58:00 +0000

The ShamWow guy was arrested after a fight with a hooker.

Details at the Smoking Gun.

Now that he's not spending "twenty bucks a month on paper towels" I suppose he has more money for ... uh, entertainment expenses.

Not to be nasty, but I'd think that a guy who'd been going through twenty bucks worth of paper towels each month was dealing with his sexual frustration independently.

Stealing From A Thief

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:01:00 +0000

You know all that neato, gnarly stuff they tell you about physical exercise? How it is good for you completely, mind body and soul? How you're always glad you did it, even if you went into it dreading it? How it gets easier all the time ... how it just becomes more and more fun and more rewarding over time?

All that stuff is true.

Why do I always forget that? I go long periods without exercise and I get fat ... and then I get disgusted and realize I have to change, and I start exercising again and I find myself thinking "Why did I ever quit doing this?"

It's been rainy and crappy here lately, so I've been riding my exercise bike instead of walking outside. And, man, I'm really enjoying it. I look forward to the weather changing so I can get outside and do stuff, too. I put together a new playlist of heavy, positive, catchy metal songs for my MP3 player, and that makes it all even more fun. And I've come to realize that one of my favorite of those songs, Stealing From A Thief by the legendary NY thrasher's Anthrax, has an awesome message:

So I hereby adopt Stealing From A Thief as my new personal theme song.

That's right, it's my personal theme song. Cheesy, yeah ... but I firmly believe that everyone needs their own personal theme song. If you don't have a personal theme song, then I feel sorry for you.

Check out the awesome, positive lyrics to my personal theme song:

Stealing From A Thief ... by Anthrax

Don't want a life like my parents had.
Don't want a life like my rich friends have.
Don't want to live by association.
Don't want to live the great maybe.

I want a life not a name online,
I want to live in real time.
I want a life just so I can be.
I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Stealing from a thief,
My humanity.
I know my name, I know my pain,
I know my frequency.

As a kid I played "make believe."
As a man I played "Make. Believe."
As a kid I'd do anything.
As a man I've done everything.

I live my life centered and humane.
I live my life like a man insane.
I live my life just so I can be.
I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Stealing from a thief,
My humanity.
I know my name, I know my pain,
I know my frequency.

I get up, I get up, I get up and go!
I grab a hold and reach way down
To find something that I really believe.
I don't need to console myself.
If I don't like what I see, f--- it.

I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Now, THIS Is Odd...

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:20:00 +0000

The headmaster at a private school in Boston is denying that the school is teeming with vampires:

There are no vampires at Boston Latin School, says headmaster Lynne Moone Teta...

"I seek your cooperation in redirecting your energy toward the learning objectives of the day. Please do not sensationalize or discuss these rumors," Teta wrote in a notice obtained by the Boston Globe and sent to faculty, students and parents.

Teta said she was concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized because of the rumors...

HT: Moe Lane.

You know, there are things that a person might seem to confirm by denying them.

It's weird that this headmaster is basically saying "Nothing to see here! Get back to your studies!" Almost sounds like a cover-up. Not that I believe in vampires. (Or, "Vampyres" if you're one of those gay-ass goth kids.)

Zombies, now ... that's another story. If a headmaster of a school ever issues a statement denying a zombie problem ... well, I'll take it as an absolute certainty that the school has been overrun by the walking undead. I mean, some things are just obvious lies, ya know?

The Shovel List: Addendum 5

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 04:01:00 +0000

I have no idea how to respond to this. Other than with a shovel.

The list of people that I'd like to
hit in the face with a shovel* includes:

Cecile Richards

Cecile Richards is the President of Planned Parenthood. One of her closest back-pocket politicians is The Great Satan, Hillary Clinton.

The current Secretary of State has championed abortion on demand for years. Cecile Richards is about to show her appreciation to Hillary by presenting her with the Margaret Sanger award.

You read that right. It's an award named for Margaret Sanger.

What, would it have been a bit too obvious to present Hillary with an award named for Pol Pot or Hitler?

On the off chance that you don't know, Margaret Sanger championed abortion in the name of "eugenics," her word for ethnic cleansing. Sanger wanted to wipe out what she thought of as the lesser races with the hopes of creating a pure, white master race.

This is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of. So here's Dan, taking one to the face, as he usually does, for Cecile Richards:

*Disclaimer: The usual disclaimer doesn't apply here. I'm just too disgusted.

South Park And Bailouts

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:21:00 +0000

If South Park isn't the smartest and funniest thing on TV right now, I'd like to know what is.

Breitbart offers analysis:

It Just Drips Quality

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:33:00 +0000

I'm not reviewing this movie. I haven't seen the movie; I haven't even seen the trailer. What I'm doing here is reviewing this movie's poster ... and from what I can tell just from the poster, this is probably the greatest movie ever made.

For starters, you've got Steve Guttenberg as the star. And if anyone can carry an intense action/thriller, it's Steve Guttenberg. I can't even imagine some of my favorite intense action/thrillers, like 3 Men And A Baby and PS, Your Cat Is Dead, without Guttenberg's intense, action-packed, thrilling presence.

Then there's the name of the movie itself: Fatal Rescue. Movie studios have a sacred bond with audiences when it comes to the word fatal. Simply put, the studios only put the word fatal in a movie's title if the movie is an artistic triumph. Consider watershed efforts such as Fatal Error, Fatal Justice, Fatal Memories (With the great Shelley Long), Fatal Judgement, and Fatal Fury 2: The New Battle.

It's the same thing with the word Deadly. The studios have agreed, by the way, that they're reserving the title Deadly Fatality for the final and best movie ever to be made. (Vin Diesel is in talks to star.)

But back to the film at hand. Of course, I'm extremely intrigued by the concept of a rescue that is fatal. I can't imagine how you can both kill and rescue anyone. This movie probably involves an ingenuous plot twist. Maybe Guttenberg is rescuing someone from being alive?

The poster's final selling point is the intense focus on the faces of all the actors pictured. It isn't clear what they're looking at, but whatever it is has them gravely concerned. Just look at the way Guttenberg is channeling all of his intensity with his eyebrows and his slightly open mouth (great actors can do that). His face clearly says "I'm gravely concerned." Aren't you just dying to know what he sees?

Of course I'll be reviewing Fatal Rescue just as soon as I get a chance to go buy the deluxe, three-disc collector's edition DVD (I assume there is one). Boy, I just can't wait.

UPDATE: Scott at Good News Film Reviews looks at the trailer for Fatal Rescue.

Random Poll

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 07:49:00 +0000

MCF's latest.

1) When you see Kurtwood Smith, do you think ”Red Forman” or ”Clarence Boddicker”?

I'd actually forgotten that Red Forman was even in Robocop. I only ever saw That 70's Show three or four times. It never really grabbed me.

2) Do our social roles during our school years lock us in to who we will be for the rest of our lives?

Gut reaction: We're not locked into anything. But most of us carry over a lot of crap from high school, most of it negative and/or useless. That iconic image from Pink Floyd The Wall really gets it right. School is a meatgrinder.

3) Do you typically come to a full stop at a Stop Sign?

I think I actually do. I got a ticket once for not doing so and I never forgot it.

4) Which is prettier: a sunrise or a sunset?

Sunset. No idea why I feel that way, but I feel strongly about it.

5) On a recent episode of Reaper, one of the characters uses Les Nessman as a fake name. On a recent 30 Rock, a character was referred to as a ”Radar O'Reilly”. I love such pop culture nods, but as I'm getting older, I wonder: does anyone under the age of 30 get these references?

WOT R U TALKINBOUT? TXT ME L8R.

6) Does your imagination ever cause you to wince?

All the time. Ever been cheated on? 'Nuff said.

7) Is there a place in science fiction for more fantastic elements such as intervention from a higher power, celestial beings, or shared visions?

Sure, I guess. Never thought about it. Why wouldn't there be?

8) Baked or original Doritos?

Original Nacho Cheese flavor. Mmmmm.

10) Does anyone still use rotary phones?

I'm sure that somewhere, somebody's grandma has a rotary phone AND a party line.

11) Should the Poll go up to 11?

We really gotta come up with a new Spinal Tap reference. How about "You can't really dust for vomit."

Things Could Be Worse

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:12:00 +0000

I've been blogging about personal stuff lately, and it's theraputic to get that stuff out. It helps.

But I realize that things could be much worse for me. I could be as dillusional as Fred Durst:

The Limp Bizkit frontman, no doubt all too aware that his band's rap-rock sound is dead and gone, is once again propping himself up on the one thing he figures people will remember, his alleged fling/relationship/whatever with Britney Spears back in 2003...

"It just became a fiasco of madness," Durst, 38, tells MTV News about the alleged fling and subsequent story breakup. "(But) I always stay true to my heart and true to everything I did and my intentions, and I am in no way a liar..."

"I look back on it as very interesting (in terms of) how things have been sort of unraveling for her since," he says. "(But) it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. (Still) I'm a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now. ... "I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her," he adds.

What a peckerhead.

Fear Of Silence

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:52:00 +0000

I keep realizing little things; things that emphasize how much I came to depend on Wendy over the past eight years.

I don't know how to work our alarm clock. It's been on her side of the bed this whole time. She's the one who sets it, she's the one who turns it on and off. It's her who always pounded the snooze button. I don't think she's planning to take it with her when she leaves in two weeks ... but either way I'm going to either have to learn to work that alarm clock or I'm gonna have to get a new one and learn to work that one.

I may have never even touched our alarm clock, in fact.

I don't know much about how to work our TV remote, either. Wendy usually always picked what was on TV, and I rarely cared to watch anything other than the news. As far as controlling the DVR feature, setting it to record, etc, I'm gonna have to learn all of that.

And those are the little things. I don't even have the words to explain how it feels to realize that, soon, when I come home every day from work, she won't be here. She'll be gone, my step-kids will be gone. Gone. Except for the weekends and holidays and summer days when I have my son, this house is going to become a void. The silence will be suffocating.

It's been different during the times when I was at home by myself over the past eight years. Those times were infrequent and usually kinda brief. I enjoyed the silence in those instances. Sometimes, during the chaos of day to day life, I thirsted for silence. Soon I'll be drowning in it.

I can't sit in here and stare at the walls. I have to get out and do stuff. I have to visit extended family and see my friends more. If I sit here and listen to all this nothing I think I'll just become part of the nothing.

I start graveyard shift tonight. The kids are at school, Wendy is at work. She gave notice yesterday. I'd planned to get out today, but it's too rainy and cold out to go walk for exercise. Instead, I blew the dust off the recumbent exercise bike we bought years ago and used it for 40 or 45 minutes. It was tiring, but I'm glad I did it.

Obama Truthers

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:28:00 +0000

I don't really buy any of this. I don't buy into conspiracy theories in general because I tend to believe that people are stupid ... people in large groups are EXTREMELY stupid ... and large groups of stupid people can't manage the kind of secrecy and organized deception that would be necessary to pull off a global conspiracy.

Conspiracy theories are goofy.

Having said that, I get a kick out of the fact that there are conspiracy theorists out there who're already targeting Obama:

HT: Pasadena Closet Conservative.

Walking In Circles

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:01:00 +0000

I walked three miles today (Tuesday). OK, I actually walked 2.8 miles, not quite three. I know it was 2.8 because after I walked I got in my car and drove the same distance and measured it with the trip counter. 2.8 miles, pretty much exactly. Not too bad.

This is the beginning of me getting off my butt and getting some exercise and taking off some weight.

I've done this twice before. In the '90's I got fairly thin (as thin as I get) and somewhat presentable and I ended up in a serious relationship, which became a marriage/family, and then I got fat again. And then my wife left me. Not that the one necessarily caused the other, but it sure didn't help.

Then, in the year 2000, right after the end of that first marriage, I got fairly serious about my health, and I started exercising and lost the weight again. And then I started dating Wendy, and we got married and I got fat again. And now that relationship is ending.

So I'm exercising again.

Vicious cycle. I don't really know how to explain it. It certainly doesn't indicate anything good about my mental make-up. Apparently when I actually have a family to come home to I slowly become negligent about everything. The people I love, my own health, everything. And then once I end up single again I take off the weight pretty quickly, rush into a new relationship and begin the cycle again. That ain't good.

I don't really have a point to this post. Just more blogging for the sake of getting stuff off my chest. And I don't expect to solve anything by writing all this down. Just a personal assessment of some kind, maybe.

It's also kinda weird to throw this stuff out there on the net, I guess. But I suppose it's harmless. Basically, nobody is reading this crap. I heard once that more than two hundred million people keep a blog. The sheer number alone is almost an assurance of something even better than anonymity: indifference. Regardless, since this domain isn't a "family thing" anymore, I've been slowly removing all the traces of our full names.

Anyway, I think the thing to learn, here, is that I see a clear pattern in my mistakes ... and now I gotta figure out a better way to live.

The Only Constant Is Change, Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:35:00 +0000

(This post is a follow-up to the post here.)

This is the point where the blog turns into a therapeutic (I hope) journal more than a political soapbox and joke forum. At least for a while. Nobody reads this blog but five or six real-life friends and family members and three or four "internet buddies." So it'll be alright.

So much to do, God, this is overwhelming.

So much is going to have to be packed. Joint checking account have to be closed, new ones have to be opened, vehicle ownership has to be transferred ... we even have to get the post office involved. Damn.

Wendy and I've spent the day preparing for her and the kids to move, going to banks, the DMV, etc, etc. Staying motivated is tough, considering that I'm helping to do all of this so that my best friend can move ten hours away. Over the past eight year's she was also my girlfriend and then wife, and that makes it all the tougher. Then throw the kids into the mix and, man. Man, oh man.

But it has to happen. For myriad reasons, none of which I intend to go into here, this really is for the best. This is really what makes sense and I try to focus on that.

Still sucks, though.

People are starting to put two and two together in some instances; really figuring out that this has been planned for some months. People say things like "So THIS is why you did (yadda yadda) in January instead of what I thought you'd do." Yep, that's it. Makes sense now, right?

Being single again will be weird. I haven't lived alone for ... something like fifteen years, I suppose. I tried marriage in my twenties and couldn't pull it off ... then I spent my thirties with Wendy and still couldn't make it work. And Wendy, man ... she's the one. Shes THE ONE. She was my best shot at really getting this right.

Maybe in my late 40's I'll try again. Maybe? For now, though, I really have to focus on turning myself into someone that I like to be around. I have got a lot of work to do. I've gotten so damn fat, man. Soooooo fat. I'm absolutely physically miserable. And that effects my emotions and my state of mind, and it has GOT to change. Period.

My son from my first marriage will be with me a lot this summer, and he's grown so much. He's as tall as I am now, and he's really quite the athlete. He knows I used to really enjoy tennis, he's seen video and pictures of a younger, healthy version of his father on a tennis court, and he's always asked me to teach him how to play. He and I will have a lot of time this summer just to hang out by ourselves, and I really look forward to getting on the tennis court with him, cancer permitting. The kid is inexhaustible; there's no way I can keep up with him. But I'll try.

Writing this made me feel better. And that kinda sucks, because you can expect me to do more of this kinda thing. Less laughter and ranting, more personal journal. Blah. I'm not as good at making my personal stories interesting and fun ... the kinda thing MCF does so well, for instance.

But thanks if you waded through this post. I really appreciate it.

Speaking of MCF, I think I'll sum up and finish this post with a video that he linked to yesterday. Hey, who ever had a better grasp on life than the Muppets?

The Worst Thing About Disney Channel Tweener Sitcoms Is...

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 23:35:00 +0000

... all the canned laughter. These are the only shows left that still rely on canned laughter.

My step-daughter loves these shows. For the most part, the rest of us endure them. God knows I love my kids, man, but the one and only good thing about Wendy and the kids moving back to New York is that soon I'll only have to watch these shows during summer visitation.

Just out of curiosity, Liam and I took a count while Hannah Montana was on. There were 29 instances of canned laughter in the brief bit of show-prologue BEFORE the opening credits. By the first commercial break there had been 118 fake laughs. By closing credit we'd counted a grand total of 189 completely fake audience laughs and one totally fake "Awwwwww."

Since the average episode, not counting commercials, is 23 minutes ... that's like, what, one burst of totally fake, canned laughter every 7 seconds? Holy friggin' crap.

Man, these shows are so bad. The writing is the worst there is. The acting is even worse than that. And all of these shows feature original music that makes the songs from Scoobie Doo chase montages seem like the Beatles. Why does Disney insult kids' intelligence like this?

It's just evil, man.

Scary Eye Larry

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:58:00 +0000

My step-dad is a good guy. He came into our lives a little later than usual, whatever "usual" is. He and my mom started dating shortly after he retired and shortly before my mom did the same. They've been married for four or five years, I guess.

The thing about my step-dad is that that he has terrible luck with his right eye. For some reason, every time he gets injured in any way, the worst part of the injury is going to happen to that same eye. A few years ago he was running a weed-eater and the weed-eater picked up a stick and flung it straight into his eye. He needed stitches and his eye was all bloody and bruised for a while.

A few years later a nasty case of food poisoning caused him to pass out, striking that same eye on the corner of his bedroom dresser.

If you shot Larry in the foot, the bullet would bounce off and hit him in the eye.

No matter what happens to Larry, the worst of it is going to find it's way to his eye. And he's really self-conscious about it. Whenever he's recovering from his most recent eye injury he always worries that the kids will panic if they see him. He has been known to lurk around the house with the lights off, hiding from visitors and warning them not to look at him. It's as though he thinks he's literally come down with the evil eye: "Don't look upon me! Your milk will curdle, your crops will burn and your women will miscarry! Cast your eyes away!"

So that's how he got the nickname Scary Eye Larry.

The Only Constant Is Change

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:01:00 +0000

Just a bit of news for those of you who've read the blog long enough to kinda "know" me ... and for the handful of real-life friends who use this blog as a way to stay in touch:

I mentioned a year ago that Wendy and I were considering going our separate ways. In fact, I was convinced that it was going to happen. Instead, we took the last year to try to work through our problems and differences.

Long story short, we more or less finally have worked through our differences ... and realized that what we are, maybe what we've really always been, is just a couple of really good friends.

Getting to where we are now has been painful and difficult, but it's probably been inevitable. You guys have had to put up with me posting a bunch of sad song lyrics here over the past month or two just as my way of dealing with it. Sorry, that was lame. But it did help, and for the benefit of anyone who's curious, I'm doing pretty good now. We all are, believe it or not.

So here's what's up ... Wendy is moving back to New York and the kids are going with her. We'll do the summer visit thing and holiday visits, too. Hey, I've made it work for ten years or so with my oldest, and Wendy and I can make it work with my step-kids, too.

Last year when I wrote about these issues, I was fairly melodramatic. I think I said I was gonna stop blogging, take this blog down, etc. This year that's not the case. As weird as it might sound, this split is going to be good for the both of us. And we're going to make it work for the kids. You might see an occasional comment at this blog from Wendy, too, so don't be surprised about that ... I mean, honestly, regardless of everything else, she and I have managed to stay good friends. That's an end-of-a-relationship first for me, and I'm pretty damn proud of it.

And I'm also proud that Wendy and I were able to make our run last eight years, another personal best for me. I think that's amazing: Wendy put up with me for eight years. You gotta understand, dude, I really am the miserable, grouchy miscreant that I seem to be here at this blog. And she put up with me for eight friggin' years. How about a big hand for the lady, huh?

So, yeah, I might not blog as much for a while ... but it won't be because I've "given up blogging" and not because I'm depressed. I think I've come through the majority of the sadness. No, the reason blogging might be light is that it's getting warm here and I plan to spend more time outdoors, getting off my fat ass. Really enjoying my summer visitation with my son from my first marriage ... and the first of many summer visits with stepchildren.

So if you see something here at the blog that references these big changes, don't be surprised. Now you officially know what's going on.

And with that, we now return to the usual: reviewing movies, ranting about heavy metal bands, bashing liberals ... and writing horribly inappropriate and irresponsible things.

Classic Kids In The Hall

noreply@blogger.com (Darrell) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:29:00 +0000

Oh, I really think this sketch is funny. Sure it is, it's just soooo funny.