Tuesday, October 31, 2006

 

Wii Journal, Entry 01



We're getting our kids the Wii for Christmas this year... or, at least, we hope that we are. The pre-sales have all sold out everywhere, and we anticipate a long night in line at Wal-Mart on November 18th.

Even if we hadn't decided on the Wii, though, this commercial alone would be enough to convince us to not even consider the PlayStation 3:

The PS3 is clearly a tool of the devil.

The Wii, on the other hand...



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Boo






Sunday, October 29, 2006

 

The Exorcism Of Adolph Hitler



OK, that is a misleading title for this post. As far as I know, no exorcism was ever performed on Adolph Hitler. I bet that title got your attention, though! And it's not entirely disingenuous, since Hitler, exorcism, demonic possession and Satan are the topics of this blog entry.

Fun stuff!

In August, the Vatican's chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth, said that he was certain that Adolph Hitler and Joseph Stalin had been possessed by the devil. The reactions were predictable.

Secular liberals were indignant, pointing out that

Some Jewish leaders shocked the world by - GASP! - spinning Father Amorth's remarks so that they sounded anti-Semitic. Rabbi Marvin Hier of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles said that the possession explanation let Hitler off the hook:

“It says they’re really great people. Up in heaven, some celestial evil angel caused it all.”


In response, Rob Schneider issued a statement saying that he'd never make a movie with Adolph Hitler. After someone pointed out that Schneider is only half Jewish, the actor hedged his bets by saying that he'd never make a movie with Rabbi Hier, either. As an avid movie fan, I'd have been happy if Schneider had simply promised to never make another movie.

Now, don't interpret any of that as anti-Semitism on my part. As a Christian, I have tremendous love and respect for my Jewish older brothers and sisters in God. I love those bumper stickers that say "My boss is a Jewish carpenter."

For me, as a Catholic convert (and an often ham-fisted apologist) in the predominately Baptist south, Father Amorth's remarks about Hitler were a small occasion for happiness. I like it when I find myself in agreement with my Baptist and Fundamentalist family members. Most of the people in my family would readily agree that if anybody were in league with the Devil, it would have to have been the Über Bastard.

One reason this issue is interesting to me is that much of my family is of German extraction. I've never suffered from white liberal guilt about slavery since most of my folks came to the US in the early 1900's. However, the very supposition that my family might have a Nazi in the woodpile gives me a case of "der willies."

Another reason I fid the subject interesting is that I've had an exorcism performed on me. You read that right. A priest has used the ancient Church rite of exorcism to drive demons from my body.

You might like to know more about that.

When our family converted to Catholicism, we were privileged to receive a number of Catholic Rites in the process. Some of them, like baptism, communion and confirmation, are familiar with most everyone. Others, like the Rite of Reception, aren't as well known. Still another common rite that catechumens receive is an exorcism.

Now, there are exorcisms and then there are exorcisms. To most folks, the mere word conjures up Hollywood images. So, no, let me tell you up front that my exorcism didn't involve writhing in the floor or projectile vomiting. I didn't make any pronouncements about anyone's mother committing indiscretions in hell, either. Exorcism is just part of the package, and I received it with a number of other rites on a beautiful spring Sunday morning in front of the whole church. In a nutshell, what happened was our Priest put Lucifer and his toadies on notice that, while I might have fraternized with them in the past, those days were over. It's the brush-off, Satan, see? I'm switching teams.

I don't mean to make light of the Rite, I'm grateful to have received it, but I am willing to make fun of Satan himself. One thing I learned from C.S. Lewis is that old Screwtape is very proud and can't abide mockery. Ridiculing him can be a way to keep him at bay. Whatever he is.

My ideas about Satan have changed a lot over the years. I've always had a hard time believing in a corporal Satan, but I have come to see the devil as a truly cognizant and singular being. I believe that Satan really does delight in and work toward the ruin of mankind. Lucifer hates us for having God's love in a way that even the Angels never had, and the further he can sink us to his level, the better. He's basically a spoiled brat who is mad at us because "Dad likes us best."

Not that he isn't scary. He is. Like all brats, Satan is ruthless, vicious and vile. I believe that his potential for destruction is very much like it's represented in the movie The Exorcist. That's been one of my favorite movies for years, so I was glad when Father Amorth validated my ideas about that movie and it's inherently Christian message. Speaking about The Exorcist, Father Amorth said

"I know it very well," he said. "Fifteen scenes are very real, the substance of the film is positive."

He felt it was particularly helpful in showing how exorcism is of value when all medical care has proved useless. But he warned that the film is a “spectacle because cinema needs to make spectacles.”

My appreciation for The Exorcist is one of the many areas where I part ways with my Fundamentalist family. My mom, for instance, won't allow the movie in her home. This has more to do with Billy Graham than with the film itself. Billy Graham is the de facto protestant Pope of the South, and in the 70's he issued an infallible statement to the effect that The Exorcist was an evil film; that even the celluloid that the movie was printed on was evil. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Now, I'm not knocking Billy Graham, but it bugs me that the same family members who look down their nose at me because I try to follow the Pope's instructions are even more fanatical about Billy Graham. I like and respect Reverand Graham a lot, though. His TV crusades were a constant presence during my childhood, and I remember them fondly. I think of the man as a living Saint. He's won innumerable souls for Christ. I just disagree with him about The Exorcist. I think that the movie is very honest about evil, but there's a difference between being honest about evil and glorifying or promoting evil.

Another film that takes exorcism and evil very seriously, although with a far gentler approach, is The Exorcism Of Emily Rose. In that movie, the young girl who's battling a demonic invasion is comforted by a vision of the Holy Virgin. Mary assures her of the greatness and glory of God, and it's an extremely moving scene in the film. I'm spiritually bolstered by deep devotion to Mary; I wear a Mary medallion to remind me of Our Lady's example and of her advice to Jesus' friends at the wedding in Cana to go and "do whatever he tells you." Of course, I don't always follow Mary's example any more than I always follow my own mother's example… but, nonetheless, I still love and deeply respect both of the "Mothers" in my life, the one who bore me and the one who bore my Lord and my God.

I think that that's the secret to keeping Satan out of our lives. Follow the examples of the Christians around us. Follow the example of Jesus himself, of course. Surround yourself, if you can, with so much goodness that there's simply no room for Satan to squeeze in. I know that advice like that sounds clichéd and silly, but it does work. It might not lead to a life that qualifies as a good "spectacle," like in the movies, but it works.

You know in another way, it might be a good idea to think of life as a big movie… and to remember that Satan, like Rob Schneider, is always around, always waiting for his chance to pop up and turn a blockbuster into a total bomb.


Friday, October 27, 2006

 

Friday



Have a good weekend... and start it off with a couple of scenes from an all-toys version of Star Wars. I actually enjoyed these two clips far more than I enjoyed the last SW film, Episode Three: What A Load Of Sith. I found these clips more believable, too:



Best Line: "You got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite?"


Granted, I'm not the world's leading authority on Star Wars, only a nominal fan, to tell the truth... but I did get a kick out of these brief clips.

I think they're from Robot chicken, if YouTube is to be believed. that's a show I've heard about a number of times but not actually seen on TV. I watched a number of Robot Chicken clips at YouTube this morning, and these two were the only two that made me laugh. Seth Green is one of the creators of this show, and may do the voices in the clips I posted. I dunno. The show must be popular in Hollywood; they've managed to land some big names for guest voices, including Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jimmy Kimmel, Scarlett Johansson... even Hulk Hogan!

All of which is fine, but for the most part, it ain't my thing.

Not that there's anything wrong with people who enjoy Robot Chicken ;)

Anyway, have a good weekend.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

 

Not Funny Ha-Ha, Funny Hee-Hee



These alternate version trailers never get old when they're done well.

I get the feeling that I'm likely the last person on earth to see this one, but it's really good. How do you market The Ten Commandments to today's teenager? Why, just change the name to Ten Things I Hate About Commandments:



Warning: Features the voice of Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, yes, there will be F-words.

Other things I've seen recently that made me smile include the shameless Cute Overload, where puppies and kittens and all things fluffy are in abundance.

Then there's Gallery Of The Absurd, which lives up to both of it's promises. Yes, it is a gallery. Yes, it is absurd.

And in time for Halloween, there's the terror of pickles. Oh, yes, there will be vinegar.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

 

What I Know Now

In a multitude of words you will not escape sin, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
-Proverbs, 10:19


"Still, I want the freedom to be myself,
I want the freedom to f--- around.
I just want the freedom to fail without
Bringing you down."

-Peter Stuart, What I Know Now


I started this blog in June of 2004 because everyone I knew was sick of my ranting and raving, and I like to rant and rave. I figured that the internet would be a safe place to rant. Between the gun nuts, the white supremacists, the anarchists and leftists and Nickleback fans and the sundry other nutcases with websites, I figured that the internet was a good place for a fat, grouchy redneck to bitch and gripe harmlessly. I mean, it wouldn't be like I was imposing my beliefs on anyone. Don't like what I write? Read another blog.

Simple. Right? No. Nothing's ever simple.

It isn't simple because I also enjoy reading other blogs, leaving comments, reading the comments that people leave here, etc. I like reading the opinions of others and responding to them. It's all fuel for the fire, and I'm a keyboard arsonist. Burn, baby, burn.

Not too long after I started blogging, the whole blog experience took an unexpected but mostly pleasant turn. I found myself forming "friendships" with other bloggers. Those who write the blogs I frequent and those who leave comments here have kinda informally formed something almost like clique. Next thing ya know, you find yourself with a bunch of "virtual buddies." My virtual buddies have included people with similar cultural interests, people who share many of my political inclinations, people I see as spiritual mentors, one or two (or three) bloggers who I just find irresistibly charming, a number of damn good writers, a bunch of fellow Catholics and a number of others with quirks and qualities which I just happen to enjoy.

Along the way, I also drug my wife into the blogosphere with me, although she never enjoyed blogging the way that I do and the pressure she often felt to come up with content to write about was sometimes more stress than fun for her. I always suspected that she was really just indulging me; trying to share one of my interests to make me happy.

I also got my friend Jamie into blogging, but I get the impression that it's a chore to him. My friend Otis is more of a natural, and if you've read his blog you know that he's just got the gift.

I'm getting off track. Here's the thing:

Blogging friendships, virtual or not, are a great deal like real-life friendships. Through blogging and reading blogs you get to "know" people (or, at least, to know the version of themselves that they present to the world), and you might end up growing to like the bloggers you read. I know that I have, anyway. And, of course, once you like someone, you end up feeling self-conscious about what you say around them.

For the most part, my goal with this blog never really changed. I started it to vent, mostly about politics in '04, but it's still really just my personal soapbox; a place where I can come and vent with the intentions of venting harmlessly. It's also a place where I can indulge my wannabe writer tendencies. I've missed writing ever since I stopped doing it for a living when I left radio in '94, and the blog has been a great outlet.

But here's the thing: venting at the blog was supposed to be harmless. Simple self interest prevents me from telling a friend, family member or co-worker when he or she strikes me as totally full of BS. I can't do that in real life, but I can do it at the blog without naming names or burning bridges. Or, at least, I felt that I could until relatively recently. If, for instance, I wanted to vent because a family member had said something mean about my religious beliefs, I could get it out of my system at the blog … but lately I end up worried that I'll offend fellow-blogger-A by doing so. If a co-worker is shoving a TV show down my throat, the blog would be a great place to get that out of my system … but I run the chance of upsetting fellow-blogger-B. And if, God forbid, I post a picture of a moron with McDonalds tattoos, brace yourself for WW III.

So right now you might be thinking to yourself "Hey, man, relax! Chill out! Don't take this stuff so personally!" If you're thinking that, you've missed my point. My point is that I do take these kinds of things personally. That's just my nature. I don't like to hurt people's feelings and it bugs me when I do so, especially if I've done it unintentionally. I started this blog so that I could write whatever I felt like writing and not have to worry that somebody's day would be ruined if I said, for instance, that Garfield is an unfunny and stupid comic strip which jumped the shark twenty years ago. Problem is, throw that kind of remark out there and it might turn out that fellow-blogger-C is, unbeknownst to me, the world's biggest Garfield fan. Then I gotta walk around at work bummed out because I obviously hurt fellow-blogger-C's feelings without meaning to do so.

Three incidents over the past week have really bugged me. One was when I vented about Heroes, figuring that I'd thrown in enough acerbic humor to maybe get a laugh or two from one or two folks, and I ended up upsetting MCF. MCF, of course, is a fellow blogger I've never met and yet a person I genuinely like.

The second incident involved a comment at the Hidden Blog. Unseen had mentioned that the secret service had questioned a teenage girl after she posted silly threats against the president on her MySpace page. Some prick made a snide remark to the effect that the Secret Service might be stalking underage girls on the internet. I thought that remark was crass and uncalled for, and I left a comment saying so. That lead to the prick implying that I must have some deep, dark, personal reasons for reacting negatively to charges of pedophilia. Yes, some people really are content to go in that direction with their conversations. I read the prick's remarks and asked myself "Do I really need this shit? Am I even enjoying it anymore?"

The third incident was when I posted a rant about a couple of people I work with (no names named, nothing specific mentioned) and how stupid they are. A close friend read that post and pointed out, correctly, that if my co-workers ever read that post, they'd "roast me alive." I was grateful for his clear-headed warning, and I took his advice and removed that post. Nonetheless, these incidents make it clear that my "harmless hobby" has turned into something I'd never intended. It has turned into a possible liability, a hassle, and a source of frequent irritation.

So, now what?

I still have the desire to write, and I still enjoy trying to find funny ways to voice the things that irritate me. It's just how I'm cut out. It's my nature. And, I still feel the urge to write film reviews, so film geeks will continue for sure in spite of the fact that Wendy's self-imposed exile has left me the lone contributing film geek. Writing movie reviews is less troubling because film reviews are more obviously subjective. Nobody ever got their feelings hurt, I'm sure, because Ebert hated The Usual Suspects.

I'll still post at SouthCon, but I'm tired of feeling like I have to second guess, reword, censor and stifle my ideas. I'm adding a standard disclaimer to the bottom of each post, and hopefully it will help keep things in check. Just take it as a given that every post I've ever written and every post I ever write in the future rhetorically ends with the phrase "But, hey, what the hell do I know about it?"

Besides, I can't just spend all my internet time kicking Otis's ass at video games.

"I hope you don't listen to me.
I don't always say what I'm thinking.
Sometimes I tell you what I think you want to hear,
But, most times, I just talk to make sound.

-Peter Stuart, Wish I Was Here

Saturday, October 21, 2006

 

Etc






Friday, October 20, 2006

 

Good Drugs



This is old, so you might have seen it, but it's still good stuff from the folks at Jib Jab. You can watch the origial, sharper looking Java version at their site.



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No Heroes, The Governor, And Three Links




Thursday, October 19, 2006

 

Fabolous, Deveous and Scandolous






Wednesday, October 18, 2006

 

An Interesting Phone Call



Today I got an e-mail from a producer (I suppose he's a producer) at E! Entertainment Television. He sent me his phone number and asked me to call him regarding the item I wrote about Christine Chubbuck, the Florida newscaster who killed herself on the air in 1974.

The fellow from E! wanted to know if I could give him sources for the the quotes and specific information in my story. Apparently, E! is working on a feature about Christine Chubbuck. I don't know if it's to be anything more than a five-minute segment on a news program, but I was glad to help.

Unfortunately, all of the information I have is drawn from the two sources I sited at the end of my post about Christine. All I did, really, was work my own prose around information from Sally Quinn's 1974 article about the incident.

Nonetheless, I'm surprised by how many hits my Christine Chubbuck article gets on a daily basis. It's currently my most popular single item.

And it's neat to have played a small role, however incidental, in the production of a national television piece about Christine Chubbuck. Her story is sad and moving. I'm surprised that it isn't better known.


 

Two Film Reviews At film geeks



Nothing here today, but I did put up a couple of reviews at film geeks, one for Bringing Out The Dead and one for Auto Focus.

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

 

Scarlett Sings, Beauty Bends, Polite Politics and Akin's Apologetics





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Monday, October 16, 2006

 

Chester



A year ago we bought a basset hound puppy and named him Chester. He's graced my banner (above) for... I dunno... six months or so. It's been quite a year with Chester. Here's 90 seconds of video that demonstrates how much a basset hound grows in a year. The first clip below was taped a year ago, give or take a week or two. The next clip was taped this afternoon. I had to wake him up from napping under the tree to tape him, which is why he was so grouchy. As I type this he's asleep at my feet, snoring like a freight train.

I'm still having a terrible time figuring out the perfect compromise between resolution and file size for YouTube videos. This one still looks pretty darned grainy, but not as bad as the last one I posted.

The other dog is Tilda, our beautiful brittany spaniel. Tilda, technically, is mine. Chester, technically, is Wendy's dog. For some reason, however, Chester thinks of me as his Lay-Z-Boy. If I'm on the couch, he's asleep on my chest.

Other basset fans might enjoy this video and this video and this one and this one and this one and this one, too. There aren't many Brittany Spaniel videos at YouTube, but for some Brittany action, you can check out Sammie, a French Brittany (not an AKC recognized breed, but still a cutie). Then, there's Hugo, a brittany who actually looks quite a lot like our Tilda. Then there's Rocky, a brittany with a beautiful coat who's owner, for some damn reason, decided to shear him, leaving him looking like a freakin' pit bull!

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Baseball Racism, Grim Cartoons, George Allen, Justin Timbergay and Affleck The Idiot






Saturday, October 14, 2006

 

Bite Me Elmo



The new Tickle Me Elmo toy is out and everybody just loves it, right?

Nope.

Dogs don't seem to be crazy about Elmo.


















 

Ooooooh, Scary



After a visit to Scare Factory and a look at the wares they have for sale, the same ol' stuffed dummy and fake cobwebs on the front porch just won't seem like enough this Halloween.

Scare Factory sells horror props for your local haunted house and whatnot. Some of it, I'll warn you, is pretty gross.

My favorite thing there was the easy chair with pop-up monster. Oh, the fun I could have with this thing:



Of course, nothing at Scare Factory is quite as scary as this video of what's apparently an actual professor teaching an actual class:




Friday, October 13, 2006

 

Friday, Briefly



Just a few things I saw today:





Have a good weekend!


Thursday, October 12, 2006

 

Disclosures



Three bloggers, three hidden identities, and three very slow reveals



So there you have it. Truth will out.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

 

Barbra Streisand, Class Act



If you attended the Streisand concert in NYC last night, you got the chance to hear the legendary singer go all 2 Live Crew on her fans, telling one audience member to "Shut the fuck up."

Things started getting ugly when Bags Babs brought a George W. Bush impersonator on stage:

There was Streisand, enduring a smattering of loud jeers as she and "George Bush" - a celebrity impersonator - muddled through a skit that portrayed the president as a bumbling idiot.

Though most of the crowd offered polite applause during the slightly humorous routine, it had gone on a bit too long, especially for those who just wanted to hear Streisand sing like she had been doing for the past hour.


Eventually, too much became too much:

"Come on, be polite!" the well-known liberal implored during the sketch as she and "Bush" exchanged zingers. But one heckler wouldn't let up. And finally, Streisand let him have it.

"Shut the (expletive) up!" Streisand bellowed, drawing wild applause. "Shut up if you can't take a joke!"

With that one F-word, the jeers ended. And the message was delivered - no one gets away with trying to upstage Barbra Streisand, especially not in her hometown.

Once the outburst (which Streisand later apologized for) was over, Streisand noted that "the artist's role is to disturb," and delivered a message of tolerance before launching into a serenely beautiful rendition of "Somewhere."


This is the same classy broad who spoke before a Democratic Party gathering in 2002, saying in part:

"So, in the words William Shakespeare, 'Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind.'"


Only one problem… that little rant isn't from Shakespeare at all. It IS, however, part of an anti-Dubya e-mail that had been forwarded all over the internet in the months previous to Barbra's address before the Democratic party.

That Streisand. Boy, she's so classy. Right up there with 50 Cent.


Monday, October 09, 2006

 

Somethin' Somethin'





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Sunday, October 08, 2006

 

Al-A-Rama






Friday, October 06, 2006

 

Four For Friday



UPDATE, AUGUST 2008: THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ZACK SNYDER'S WATCHMEN MOVIE!!

I'm adding this update in August, 2008. My data tracking shows that this post is by FAR the most popular post at SouthCon as of now. After the Watchmen trailer was made available for public consumption a lot of people must have hit the net looking for Watchmen movie info, and a lot of them are ending up here.

So what you need to know is that this post was written BEFORE the current Zack Snyder Watchmen movie was in progress. Originally, the IMDB page I linked to featured bare-bones information. When I wrote this post Zack Snyder wasn't attached to the film ... at least as far as I knew. There is NO information here about that movie. This post is just a personal blog post, and I'm just some hillbilly ranting about how much he loves the book and about someone else's hypothetical cast for a hypothetical Watchmen film.

And, for what it's worth, I think Zack Snyder's movie looks like it ought to be pretty good. I still don't think that any movie could convey everything that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons put on the printed page. But I do think that Snyder's film looks like it's going to be good fun.

And now, the original post from October, 2006:




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Carnival Of Cinema



There's good stuff to read today at Nehring's Carnival of Cinema, including entries from SouthCon blogroll favorites such as MCF and Otis. Go read, go read.


Thursday, October 05, 2006

 

Guillermo del Toro



Nothing here today, but I did write about five of Guillermo del Toro's movies at film geeks.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

 

Wednesday's Eye-Grabbers




Tuesday, October 03, 2006

 

Weird Al And Preemptive Political Suicide



MCF and Otis got me thinking about the new Weird Al song, White & Nerdy,... and I ended up pondering the song's greater implications with regard to race, culture, all that crap.

White & Nerdy is a parody of the godawful hiphop song Ridin' by some idiot who alls himself Chamillionaire. That song got played about a million times on the radio and on the music video channels during Chamillionare's fifteen minutes, and I got so sick of it. I absolutely despise that stupid song, so my gut reaction to the new Weird Al song was negative. Then I saw the video on TV the other morning and found myself laughing at the lyrics.

Here's the video, in case you haven't seen it:


At first I was laughing in a condescending way:

Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher - that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea


HA HA! Right? He's totally right because that stuff is soooo nerdy, right? Because, you know, Dungeons and Dragons and hot tea, that stuff is for losers, right? Plus, he also makes fun of Star Trek and MySpace and Happy Days! HA HA! Looooosers!

A little later in the song, Al got personal:

I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do html for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog


OK, let's see... collecting comics, personal home page, Wikipedia, memorizing huge chunks of Holy Grail, writing html for your friends... Alright, maybe Al has been spying on me.

I figured I'd better take the test:

SouthCon is 40% white and nerdy.
How White and Nerdy Are You?


Fine, yes, I'm far too white and nerdy and I know it. In fact, it's entirely possible that I've written an entry at my personal home page (actually, this blog) about X-Men and quoted Holy Grail all at once, complete with Wikipedia links inserted in just the right html code. Because, you know, all that stuff is for losers. ;)

This new Weird Al song reminds me of my all time favorite Weird Al song, All About The Pentiums, which also hits home with me, big nerd that I am:

Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizzz-ouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K


On the mizzz-ouse fa shizzle. You know it, dog.

Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er


"Me too!" HA HA! Because, back in the day, you know what I'm sayin', way way back in the USENET day, I used to totally FLAME those trolls!

You've got your own newsgroup,
"alt.total-loser"


HA HA HA! And you probably think that the "alt" in "alt" newsgroups stands for "alternate," right? WRONG! HA HA HA! I'm soooo much cooler than you.

Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you. What?!


Word to your motherboard.

But, I digress.

As funny as the new Weird Al song is, I couldn't help but think about other aspects of it. For one thing, it hinges on stereotypes about white people, like me. And, yes, those stereotypes are funny. And it's safe to laugh at those stereotypes because, after all, it's safe to mock white people. So, ha ha, good show Al, you've still got it.

But what about other stereotypes about other races?

I have to wonder if I'd be considered a bigot by the world at large because I also occasionally laugh at stereotypical ideas about races, colors and creeds that aren't white.

I wrote the other day about how George Allen is catching hell because some people say he's used the word "nigger" in the past. I said then, and I honestly believe, that Allen is being attacked on this basis because his political enemies don't have anything else to attack him with.

But here's the thing: Allen says he can't remember having ever used the word "nigger" in his life, and that's just silly.

The thing is, is it possible for a public figure to be honest about these kinds of things? Is it possible for him to say something like "Oh, sure, I've said stupid things in the past, like everyone else. I've probably also made racially insensitive remarks during times when I wasn't thinking about the real importance of that kind of thing. I regret it, I make an effort not to do it, and I'm really more interested in talking about the real issues than I am in trying to make a laundry list of every time I've ever used the so-called "n" word."

I guess he'd be hung out to dry if he ever said something like that.

So, in the interest of self preservation, I want to make a few confessions. Here's where I'm coming from: I guess it's possible that someday, somewhere down the line, I'll lose my mind to the point where I think about running for office. God, I hope not. I really hope I'd never actually want to get involved in politics. But I might. I've done crazy crap before. So, in an effort to derail any political chances I might aspire to in the future, let me drop this smart-bomb right now. There's no chance of me ever being elected dog-catcher or anything else with the following confessions floating around in the Google cache for God knows how long.

Ready? Here's the details of my racially insensitive past. Consider this full disclosure. I'm throwing out there everything I can think of, even if it's marginally relevant:



There ya go! A Weird Al post and a racially irresponsible rant all rolled into one. Now, where else ya gonna find that?


Sunday, October 01, 2006

 

Ooops ... And Iron Man News






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