You know all that neato, gnarly stuff they tell you about physical exercise? How it is good for you completely, mind body and soul? How you're always glad you did it, even if you went into it dreading it? How it gets easier all the time ... how it just becomes more and more fun and more rewarding over time?

All that stuff is true.

Why do I always forget that? I go long periods without exercise and I get fat ... and then I get disgusted and realize I have to change, and I start exercising again and I find myself thinking "Why did I ever quit doing this?"

It's been rainy and crappy here lately, so I've been riding my exercise bike instead of walking outside. And, man, I'm really enjoying it. I look forward to the weather changing so I can get outside and do stuff, too. I put together a new playlist of heavy, positive, catchy metal songs for my MP3 player, and that makes it all even more fun. And I've come to realize that one of my favorite of those songs, Stealing From A Thief by the legendary NY thrasher's Anthrax, has an awesome message:

So I hereby adopt Stealing From A Thief as my new personal theme song.

That's right, it's my personal theme song. Cheesy, yeah ... but I firmly believe that everyone needs their own personal theme song. If you don't have a personal theme song, then I feel sorry for you.

Check out the awesome, positive lyrics to my personal theme song:

Stealing From A Thief ... by Anthrax

Don't want a life like my parents had.
Don't want a life like my rich friends have.
Don't want to live by association.
Don't want to live the great maybe.

I want a life not a name online,
I want to live in real time.
I want a life just so I can be.
I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Stealing from a thief,
My humanity.
I know my name, I know my pain,
I know my frequency.

As a kid I played "make believe."
As a man I played "Make. Believe."
As a kid I'd do anything.
As a man I've done everything.

I live my life centered and humane.
I live my life like a man insane.
I live my life just so I can be.
I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Stealing from a thief,
My humanity.
I know my name, I know my pain,
I know my frequency.

I get up, I get up, I get up and go!
I grab a hold and reach way down
To find something that I really believe.
I don't need to console myself.
If I don't like what I see, f--- it.

I'll never ask what was in it for me.

Labels: Music, Personal, You Tube

I've been blogging about personal stuff lately, and it's theraputic to get that stuff out. It helps.

But I realize that things could be much worse for me. I could be as dillusional as Fred Durst:

The Limp Bizkit frontman, no doubt all too aware that his band's rap-rock sound is dead and gone, is once again propping himself up on the one thing he figures people will remember, his alleged fling/relationship/whatever with Britney Spears back in 2003...

"It just became a fiasco of madness," Durst, 38, tells MTV News about the alleged fling and subsequent story breakup. "(But) I always stay true to my heart and true to everything I did and my intentions, and I am in no way a liar..."

"I look back on it as very interesting (in terms of) how things have been sort of unraveling for her since," he says. "(But) it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. (Still) I'm a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now. ... "I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her," he adds.

What a peckerhead.

Labels: Entertainment, Music, News

Job For A Cowboy is an extreme metal band.

Spongebob Squarepants is a yellow invertebrate.

Two great tastes that taste great together:

Labels: Humor, Music, You Tube

I really was gonna try to stop writing Watchmen stuff for a while. and I really was gonna stop forcing rock song lyrics that I enjoy down everyone's throats...

but then it occured to me that the lyrics to one of my all time favorite hard rock songs damn near sums up Rorschach's world view ... and my own:

Ænema by Tool:


Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Freaks here in this hopeless f---ing hole we call LA.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any f---ing time. Any f---ing day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

F--- L Ron Hubbard and
F--- all his clones.
F--- all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

F--- retro anything.
F--- your tattoos.
F--- all you junkies and
F--- your short memory.

Learn to swim.

F--- smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
F--- these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

I'm praying for rain.
I'm praying for tidal waves.

I wanna see it all come down.
Suck it down.
Flush it down.

Great track from a great metal album. (Yeah, I know that Tool and a number of their artsy fartsy fans argue that Tool isn't metal, man, so don't label 'em. Tool is metal. Shut up.)

Labels: Music, Watchmen

This is a live show, you can stream samples of the songs with the widget just below. And if you like what you hear you can click the download this show link and get a high-quality copy of the whole show for ten bucks. Or, if you're a cheapskate like me, you can get a lesser-quality copy right here for free (and legally).

Phish played for the first time in years in Hampton last week. If you were quick on the mouse you could have downloaded high-quality copies of those shows for free. I got 'em, and they're good, but the show below is awesome.

Phish 10/7/00 Shoreline Amphitheater, Mountain View, CA Click below to preview tracks from this show DOWNLOAD THIS SHOW

If you don't know Phish, I guess I'd describe them as a cross between The Grateful Dead and Frank Zappa, but funky. But every Phish fan describes them differently. Just stream some of this music and see what you think...

Labels: Music

More lyrics that I particularly enjoy:

Times Of Trouble by Temple Of The Dog

When the spoon is hot
And the needles sharp
And you drift away.
I can hear you say
That the world in black
Is upon your back.
And your body shakes,
So you ditch away
And you close the shades.

Don't try to do it.
Don't try to kill your time.
If you do it
Then you cant change your mind.
You've got to hold on to your time
Till your break through these times of trouble.

When you try to talk
And the words get hard
And they put you down,
Don't you stay.
Don't you ditch away.

I saw you swinging,
Swinging your mothers sword.
I know youre playing,
Sometimes the rules get hard.
But if somebody left you out on a ledge,
If somebody pushed you over the edge,
If somebody loved you and left you for dead,
You got to hold on to your time
Till you break through these times of trouble.

This is from one of the best rock albums of the past 25 years. Don't just by the track, buy the whole damn thing.

Labels: Music

Still boosting good pop/rock/whatever lyrics. This song has pretty much become my favorite tune of late, mostly for the words:

Let It Fall by Sean Watkins and Glen Phillips


Hey look, I'm not weighed down.
As I walk through
The glowing wheat fields churning on the ground.
As all the ravens fly away
They leave nothing
But the sun and endless blue day.

I always knew I felt this way
But couldn't find the time to say
To myself that I've got to let it go.
Through all the joy and all the pain,
With the drought and the rain,
The honest truth is all I want to know.

Let it fall.
Let go.

My kingdom's walls have fallen down.
But I know that
I don't wear an undeserved crown.
And though it seemed to fit me well,
Underneath it
I did certainly fall down.

Last summer we left things unsaid
That should be now a long time dead.
Now it seems that time has put it well.
'Though words can chase away a friend
To a lie they'll bring an end
And throw it down the darkest, deepest well.

Let it fall.
Let go.

Go sample this song and spend a buck on it if you like what you hear. If you don't fall in love with this tune I'll personally refund your dollar.

Labels: Music

FAITH NO MORE is REUNITED!

Jim Martin didn't come back, but my hopes are still high. So far just talk of some concerts. Man, I really hope they record again. They turned out some of my favorite rock in the late 80's and early 90's and I'd like to hear what they'd do today.

Labels: Music

I gotta make this one quick because I took my nighttime pill combo a little bit ago and it's gonna kick in soon, and soon I'll either stop typing or I'll be typing gibberish. I hate, hate, HATE waking up the next day, seeing something I've posted, thinking "WTF is WRONG with ME??" and frantically deleting and/or editing the post.

Anyway, just some recent stuff from the inbox and/or Google Reader...

• At my YouTube account I got a note from a kid named JC Van Luyn, asking me to check out his music and comment on it. I might have been a bit reluctant at first, but the note really charmed me:

  Hope the day/night is finding you well, just to let you know, I apologize in advance if I took your time in some way by you reading this message. Don't hesitate to press the delete button if it does....

  He goes on from there to talk about his music, etc, but ya know what? When's the last time someone solicited you to check out their website and preceded their remarks by saying that, yeah, it's quite possible you actually do have a life and something better to do?
  
  So I checked out his stuff, which consists of some interesting covers and original songs. I found one original that I particularly enjoyed ... but what really won me over was JC's cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya." I'm sure you remember that song, it was a huge hit a few years ago and even though I really liked it, the over exposure eventually ruined the song for me. Well, JC's solo acoustic arrangement brought the track back to life for me and, damn! I'm diggin' this:




• Speaking of YouTube, most of the time when I load that page it's to check for updates from The Mighty Zo, like this one:

  I been saying for months that this guy was going to move on to bigger n' better stuff. Looks like Pajamas Media is the first step.
  
  One day we'll all be saying "Remember back in the day when Zo Rachel was just another guy with a YouTube account??"




• Another semi-daily check for me is the What's New page at Snopes, where you can learn fascinating things, like the latest web scuttlebutt about the history of the French Dip Sandwich.
  
  The French Dip, of course, is a sandwich made of thinly sliced beef, served on a hard French role, and often served au jus. Au jus is a French term that is pronounced Ah JHOOOO and means "sneezed on."
  
  Probably sneezed on by that beret-wearing asshole who resented having to wait your table in the first place, you American capitalist dog vit no ah-prishy-a-SHAUN of cul-CHA vaut zo eveh.
  
  Well, no ... not all Frenchmen behave like characters in Merry Melodies cartoons from the 50's. Some of them are much worse. But, I think my point is, you can get the real scoop on the sandwich at Snopes.



• Instapundit has posted a link to a story about twenty celebs who've aged badly.
  
  I thought the story was a bit hard on some of these folks:
  

  

  
  OK, so Diamond Dave doesn't look like a rock star anymore. He kinda looks more like a shop teacher now. But what's wrong with looking like a shop teacher? What's wrong with being a shop teacher? Someone has to be held accountable when a 14 year old kid bandsaws off two or three of his favorite fingers.
  
  But then I saw this picture and yet another small part of my childhood died inside of me:
  

  

  
  How will we ever convince the younger generation that those two women are the same woman? And that Kathleen Turner used to be one of the hottest actresses in the business?
  
  But then I noticed something:
  

  

  
  They only seem weird when you stick them out there by themselves and compare them to their bygone youth. Youth is bygone for all of us, dammit, and comparing today to '85 is always a bad idea. But if you saw that couple, the two people in the third picture combo right above ... if you saw them pushing a cart together at Wal-Mart, contemplating the best kind of detergent to buy or looking through the bargain DVDs, you wouldn't think anything of it. Nice enough looking older couple, right? Maybe she works at a law-firm and can help Shop Teacher Dave save his job when that damn kid finally gets sloppy with that bandsaw.
  
  So here's to the celebrities that grow old ... if not gracefully than at least naturally. Maybe even fearlessly. Is there any other way to do it? Screw the Botox and plastic surgery. Screw running from aging. Aging beats the alternative, right? Get old and enjoy it. It seems to be working for that nice couple, the Roths; Kathleen and Dave.

Labels: Links, Movies, Music, Politics, You Tube, Zo

I guess this song is written about a brother. It's called "Brother," after all. But I've found that the lyrics apply just as well to step-sons.

Just bear with me, I'm in a rock-lyrics period right now.

Why do I always have to look to the words of others to say the important stuff? One of my defects, I guess.

Brother by Toad The Wet Sprocket

I find my brother in there,
Deep in my heart.
I find my brother in there,
Hold in my arms,
I love you.

And if I seem too quiet now
It's that there are no words
To tell you how
I love you.

I often feel,
Like the prodigal son:
I take all I need
Giving back none.

All beauty shows,
But in such different ways.
You're like the light behind the fog
So bright you burn my eyes away.

So much has changed.
And so much has happened these years.
But still I find
You waiting here.
We have a bond
That nothing can change.
And still I find
A peace of mind
Whenever I hear your name.

But if I seem too quiet now,
It's that there are no words
To tell you how
I love you.

Labels: Music

I keep rediscovering this Dog's Eye View album and remembering how much I love these lyrics.

Haywire by Peter Stuart (Dog's Eye View)


"We used to live so bright,
We used to shine," she said.
"Now you just work all day,
And I just stay in bed.

Dreaming of singing another song,
Dreaming of flying,
Knowing that it can't and won't be long
Before I just walk away."

Well, I came from the cradle and I'm going to the grave,
And everybody else is.
I've made the same old sins and I've made the same mistakes
That everybody else has.
And I'm going haywire.

"Well, you can count me out of your prized posessions
And watch me smile.
You can cut me down with your best intentions
And listen to me laughing," she said.

Well, I came from the cradle and I'm going to the grave,
And everybody else is.
I've made the same old sins and I've made the same mistakes
That everybody else has.
And I'm going haywire.

What do I have to lose?
What do I have left to lose?

"Drop my clothes in the closest ocean,
Let me sail.
You don't have to tell me where I'm going,
Just please don't make me stay.

Well, you can try to stop me now
If you want it so bad.
And you can try to reach for me,
But I don't think you can.

Somehow I've found my feet and walked away from you."

And I'm going haywire.

I'm going haywire.

Labels: Music

I love rediscovering an old favorite album.

One of my favorite things about Dog's Eye View's Happy Nowhere is that the lyrics "speak to me, dude." Some of the songs are sentimental, some of them are funny ... and at least one is amazingly bitter:

What I Know Now by Dog's Eye View

There are no angels.
Only patronizing saints
Who would gladly keep you out of trouble
But never let you forget that you came.

There are no devils.
There are no truly kind deeds
It's just pay now and pay more later
And hope you get what you need.

And when I find myself in times of trouble
I usually give up.
Nothing to win,
Nothing to lose,
I'll just wish you luck.

There are no rules here,
Just piles of mistakes
That we say we've learned from
Then we go ahead and make.

And faith is a lazy way of trying
To get what we want
Without ever doing anything at all
To help bring it along.

And when I find myself in times of trouble
I usually give up.
Nothing to win,
And nothing to lose,
I'll just wish you luck.

And did I want the freedom to be myself
Or the freedom to f--k around?
Did I just want the freedom to fail without bringing you down?

I thought I loved you,
But now I know I was just confused.
And going through the motions
Until we were both completely bruised.

I hope I'm happy,
Because we both know I'm not fine.
I just keep kicking up my heels
Without thinking of you standing behind me.

And when I find myself in times of trouble
I always just give up.

And I don't know what to tell you.
Well I know what I'd like to tell you...
I'd like to call you up and tell you
What I know now.

Labels: Music

I don't write about the really important stuff at this blog. Not in my own words. I rely on rock and roll for the big stuff. I always have.

Waterline by Peter Stuart
of Dog's Eye View

I'm walking with my father's ghost,
And he's talking to me.
He says "I'm sorry."
But it's so hard to be free.

He says "I knew you when you were so young
Now you will never know me...
Except from pictures that you might find from
When you were three or four or five..."

Down at the waterline,
I'm at the waterline tonight.
I'm at the waterline,
At the waterline tonight.

Now I'm talking with my sister
Who says she knows you well.
She says she hears you in her hallway at night,
And sometimes she can smell you.

But not me.
I have to make it up
From the smallest clues I can find.
Me, I have to dig you up
From the corners of my mind.

We're at the waterline,
At the waterline tonight.
We're at the waterline.
We're at the waterline tonight.

Well, I built this boat with you, my friend,
And you're not here to get in.
I'm wondering, should I let it go?
Should I see if I can swim?

I'm standing in this boat I've built,
And the water is at my knees.
I thought that I might find you here,
But it looks like it's just me.

It's just me.

Here at the waterline,
At the waterline tonight.
At the waterline,
The waterline tonight.

I'm walking with my father's ghost.
He's talking to me,
He says "I'm sorry."

"If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven." - Matt. 6:15

It's a great song. Buy it for a buck at this link.

Labels: Music, You Tube

Pure positive energy from Toad The Wet Sprocket. I LOVE these lyrics:

take your cautionary tales
take your incremental gain
and all the sychophantic games
and throw 'em all away

burn your tv in your yard
and gather 'round it with your friends
and warm your hands upon the fire
and start again

take the story you've been sold
the lies that justify the pain
the guilt the weighs upon your soul
and throw 'em all away

tear up the calendar you bought
and throw the pieces to the sky
confetti falling down like rain
like a parade to usher in your life

take the dreams that should've died
the ones that kept you wide awake
when you should've been all right
and throw 'em all away

with the time I waste on the life I never had
I could've turned myself into a better man

'cause there ain't nothing you can buy
there is nothing you can save
to fill the hole inside your heart
so throw it all away

it won't fill the hole inside your heart

help me to empty out this house
of all I've gathered all these days
and thought I couldn't do without
and throw it all away

Or, put another way, as Tyler Durden says, The things you own end up owning you.

Click here and spend a buck on an absolutely perfect little pop song.

Labels: Music

How many other members of my generation spend the occasional evening sitting at the PC, looking for long forgotten music videos?

Remember the days before MTV ... or at least before MTV was widely available? (Heck, maybe MTV was just our alt-realty version of VNM anyway.)

Remember Friday Night Videos and Night Tracks? Man. Remember when the whole music video concept was novel, exciting and irresistible?

I have been surprised to realize that a great many of the songs and videos I remember so fondly all date back to the same year: 1983.

David Bowie was always hit or miss with me. For every song he released that I loved there would be another I disliked. I remember the first time I saw the video for Bowie's '83 hit called Modern Love and totally flipping out over it. What a great pop song. I couldn't get it out of my head. Of course, a big part of the reason the song was so good was that awesome little guitar hook at the beginning, played by the then unknown Stevie Ray Vaughn.

In 1983 I was convinced that the heaviest song anyone would ever record was Rock Of Ages by Def Leppard. This was before I got "retro" and discovered Black Sabbath. In '83, Def Leppard was like an atom bomb. Even the image of skinny-ass Joe Elliott waving a seven-foot cardboard sword wasn't enough to ruin this video:

'83 also saw the unthinkable happen: Kiss released Lick It Up and did a video with no makeup. That was a real shock. One reason it was shocking was that without their makeup Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley looked like a couple of old farts. And that was twenty-six years ago, dude. Simmons and Stanley were easy to pick out in the Lick It Up clip, and so was drummer Eric Carr. But I remember being confused the first time I saw the video, wondering who the ugly chick in the band was. Turned out that "ugly chick" was Vinnie Vincent, the guitarist who'd replaced Ace Frehley. Vinnie was one of seventy-four or seventy-six guitarists that Kiss went through in the '80's and '90's.

The video had a post-apocalyptic Mad Max kind of vibe and took place in a bleak future where a bomb or something had wiped out everything except hot chicks and elderly rock stars. Here the band parties into the night, unaware that Keith Richards is waiting in the darkness, ready to strike when they least expect it and take away their women and MRE's:

'83 was also a big year for Boy George, and his band Culture Club had a huge hit with Karma Chameleon. Of course, I was a 15 year old boy in '83 and I was into heavy metal and The A Team. Boy George represented everything I was steadfast against. He looked like Brooke Shields on steroids, and his proudly androgynous image was naturally an affront to any teenage boy's self image. We were doing all we could do to follow the natural path, dude, and become MEN. MEN who would some day have a chance at engaging in actual conversations with WOMEN. And maybe we'd have these conversations in a car, cars we would be driving as we were accompanied on actual DATES by a WOMEN. And, if all went well, the end result of the mysterious DATE process was that somehow the MAN was going to manage to touch the BREAST of the WOMAN. The goal was to touch the BREAST in a way that was mutually agreeable to the MAN and the WOMAN ...but any awkward, fumbling contact that involved the hand of the MAN and the BREAST of the WOMAN was technically acceptable. Once that was done, the MAN could make up any fool thing he wanted to say about the rest of the night, nobody was going to believe him anyway. So with this level of planning and this degree of uncertainty already having profound effects on our desperate young lives, the last thing we needed was happy Mr. Androgyny and his little band dancing their way through the havoc of our daily existence:

Honestly, accusing another guy of being a Culture Club fan in '83 was a pretty serious charge. Those Culture Club albums were sold with gay-germs right on the disc itself. If you took it out and played it, you'd have Boy George's very own gay-germs all over you before you got the record on the turntable! By the time side A was finished, you'd not only be a Culture Club fan, you'd also be Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds:

Of course, it's been 26 years and I'm ashamed to say that the 15 year old version of myself would be horrified to see how I now respond when Karma Chameleon comes on the radio. Like every other putz my age, I bop along a bit, sing along with the words I remember, and remark about how cool it is when they play the old songs I remember from my school days. Boy George just doesn't freak me out anymore. I don't even know if he's actually gay or not. I realized that my grasp on "gay culture" was tenuous at best when the gays addopted Tammy Faye Bakker as an icon d'jour.

Then there was Styx and Mr. Roboto, a conceptual piece that didn't make sense on it's own, in the abbreviated four-minute version they showed on TV.

No, the video to Mr. Roboto told only part of the story. But if you bought the album, you'd get to hear the whole story, right?

Well, at least you'd get the lyrics sheet, and you'd get to find out that Denis DeYoung wasn't actually singing "My Heart Is Human / My Blood Is Boiling / My Brain Like A Yam!" ... No, the last part of that famous line was actually "My Brain IBM!, which didn't make much sense either. But if you put the whole story together you'd realize that it involved some shocking, nefarious elements, such as:

• government censorship of our music!


• Rock stars held prisoner of the state!


• A bad guy named Dr. Righteous!


• Japanese Robots that facilitate the escape of our hero, a rockstar named Kilroy!


• No, really, his name was supposed to be Kilroy. Stop laughing.

And a whole bunch of other shit that wasn't enough to make you listen to this whole lame album all the way through more than a time or two.

So like the rest of us you probably recorded the two or three good tracks to a cassette and put Mr. Roboto back under house arrest at the bottom of the LP pile.

Here's a total change of gears; for whatever reason while I was looking for those videos I remembered another song from '93 rather than '83. I always loved Out There by Dinosaur, Jr. What a kick-ass song. It was disappointing to find out that the original music video apparently doesn't reside on YouTube. But I did find a live performance from last summer, and apparently the band can still sounds pretty good. I bet they're worth checking out live. This is really good, sloppy, grungy rock in the Neil Young And Crazy Horse tradition. Turn this one up loud enough to piss off the neighbors:

Labels: Music, You Tube

A little irony, courtesy of Lou Reed:

Looking in the mirror Harry didn't like what he saw.
The cheeks of his mother, the eyes of his father.
As each day crashed around him the future stood revealed.
He was turning into his parents,
The final disappointment.

Stepping out of the shower Harry stared at himself.
His hairline receding, the slight overbite.
He picked up the razor to begin his shaving.
and thought, oh, I wish I was different,

I wish I was stronger, I wish I was thinner.
I wish I didn't have this nose.
These ears that stick out remind me of my father,
and I don't want to be reminded at all.
The final disappointment.

Harry looked into the mirror thinking of Vincent Van Gogh,
and with a quick swipe lopped off his nose.
And happy with that he made a slice where his chin was.
He'd always wanted a dimple.

Then peering down straight between his legs,
Harry thought of the range of possibilities.
A new face, a new life, no memories of the past,
and slit his throat from ear to ear.

Harry woke up with a cough, the stitches made his wince.
A doctor smiled at him from somewhere across the room.
"Son, we saved your life, but you'll never look the same."
And when he heard that, Harry had to laugh.
Although it hurt Harry had to laugh.
The final disappointment.

Labels: Music

A well crafted pop song is a simple thing: all it needs is an unforgetable melody and some simple, universal lyrics. Easy, right?

Over the years I've had "flirtations" with other songs, but I always come back to "One" by U2. I think that it is the best pop song of all time.

Now, Bono has his detractors, and I admit the guy can be a real turd when he starts running his mouth. But screw Bono, man. I ain't talking about Bono. I'm talking about the song.

If it was good enough for Johnny Cash, it's good enough for me. And who knew a well-crafted song better than Cash?

Over the years I've been sure, several times, that I knew what this song was about. I've though it was about the last stage of the grieving process. I've thought it was about failed marriage(s). I've thought it was about reaching a fork in the road with an old friend.

And I was right and wrong each time. This is one of those perfect little songs where the lryics are 100% applicable to a number of life's milestones.

Today, I'm certain that the song is about the agonizing loss of religious faith:

"You say
Love is a temple,
Love a higher law,
Love is a temple,
Love the higher law.
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl.
And I can't keep holding on
To what you've got
When all you've got is hurt."

I've been on the other end, I've looked down my nose at people who've stopped going to church. It's a lot easier on that end, let me tell you. I wouldn't wish the loss of religious faith on anyone. It's a lot like cancer, based on my experiences with both.

No idea what the band hoped to communicate with this strange video... the black and white, the drag, etc.

But I know exactly what they wanted to get across with the song. I've known so many times, for so many different reasons, and I have a feeling that there will be more reasons to come.

Yeah, "One" by U2 is the best pop song ever.

Labels: Music, You Tube

I can't think of a better way to mark the inauguration of the Savior Elect, President Tila Tequila, than with one of my favorite songs from Faith No More:

You have a winning way, so keep it,
Your future! Your future! Your future!

You are an angel heading for the land of sunshine!
And fortune is smiling upon you!

Prepare for a series of a comfortable miracles,
From fasting to feasting!
And life to you is a dashing, bold adventure!
So sing, and rejoice! Sing, and rejoice!

Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake,
'Cause everything is not yet lost!

Does life seem worthwhile to you?

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

Labels: Music, Obama Watch, Politics, You Tube

• My stepson, Liam, has a bit of a tendency to speak too quickly and slur his words a little. As a consequence, when he says the name Barack Obama it sometimes sounds like he's saying "Black Obama." This drives me crazy.
  
  I worry that someone is gonna hear him and think that he really is saying "black Obama" and that he comes from a family full of racist scumbags.
  
  Of course, Barack Obama is black and there are plenty of good reasons to be proud to be black. Still, it sounds demeaning when a little white kid says something that sounds like "black Obama." Maybe I should teach him to start saying "President Obama."
  
  First, I suppose I'm gonna have to teach myself to start saying that.
  
  Or maybe we could split the difference and have everyone in the family go around referring to the outgoing President as "Whitey Bush" or "George W. Cracker" or something.



• This world is full of stupid people and a lot of them have money. And you can make a very comfortable living for yourself if you can come up with ways to separate stupid people from their money.
  
  I'm convinced that the guy who did this best was the guy who invented fingerless gloves.
  
  If you're an owner/wearer of fingerless gloves, let me take a moment to explain the whole glove concept to you. The whole friggin' point of gloves is to protect your hands. Most commonly, gloves are worn to protect your hands from the cold. The parts of the body that get cold the easiest are the extremities, and the fingers are the extremities of your hands. Therefore, fingerless gloves are like cars without wheels. Tables without legs. Liberals without latte.
  
  I hope we've cleared that up. Not that I begrudge the guy who owns the fingerless glove factory his ability to continue making money by selling dumb crap to dumb people.



• So the rock-n-roll world is all atwitter about the possibility ... likely one minute and unlikely the next ... that Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham will go on tour with some singer who's not Robert Plant.
  
  A lot of people are just about to pee themselves about it. The mantra is something like "It won't really be Led Zeppelin without Robert Plant!"
  
  I got news for ya, pal. With or without Plant, it WILL NOT be Led Zeppelin.
  
  Let's do the math, here, shall we?

  

  There can be no Led Zeppelin without John Bonham. Period, end of story. Jimmy Page once knew that. The presence or absence of Robert Plant is a moot point. Plant has been past his prime since the third album, anyway.
  
  Now, here's the part that some rock fans consider really blasphemous... Led Zeppelin wasn't all that great, anyway. They did two ... maybe three ... albums' worth of really outstanding material. And they did six or seven albums' worth of stuff that was mediocre to bad. The vast majority of the live Zeppelin I've heard has been OK at best. Jimmy Page's meandering, directionless hour-long solos are BORING. AS. HELL. And John Bonham was the only really impressive member of the group.
  
  So there. Zeppelin is over. Get over it. There are far too many superior bands out there on tour right now to worry about a bunch of aging fops.
  
  Sorry, but somebody had to say it and it might as well be me.

Labels: Humor, Music, Personal, Politics

After countless hours of loyal service, my Creative Zen 4 gig MP3 player has done bit the dust.

I think it was a corrupt MP3 of Willie Nelson's Crazy that did it. The MP3 player got locked in a constant loop of that song and then after a few minutes it just locked up and now won't do anything.

For what it's worth, up until this happened, I never had a hiccup out of the thing. It was a darn good investment and I'll miss it.

Labels: Music, Personal

A look back at the year as it closes ... each of the thumbnail pictures below is clickable. Click one and it'll take you to the relevant post.

This is 2008 as I followed it at the blog. The political, the cultural, the personal and the trivial. Mostly the trivial.

Labels: Blogs, Entertainment, Links, Movies, Music, Personal, Politics

As I've written before, I really enjoy bass guitar. Which is why I really enjoy this:

Her name is Tal Wilkenfeld. I think that's a good name to remember.

Labels: Music, You Tube

Just some things that caught my eye:

• Smashing Pumpkins don't intend to release another album:

  According to The Pulse of Radio, SMASHING PUMPKINS frontman Billy Corgan says the band will not release any more new albums, citing the lack of enthusiasm for their 2007 comeback effort, "Zeitgeist", as one of the reasons.

  Rock fans reacted to the news with shock and horror, exclaiming "Smashing Pumpkins released an album in 2007?! Why??"


• It looks like UAW greed and hubris have killed the auto company bailout for now. Good. Modern labor unions can keep their heads in the sand if they want, but they shouldn't be able to drag the tax payer down with them.
  
  Then again, maybe it's not willful obstinance on the parts of the labor unions. I've spent enough time with union types to tell you that they really might just be that stupid.


• Speaking of the auto bailout, here's an awesome graphic that's making the rounds. I saw it at Fairly Conservative:

  

  
  It's funny because it's true. Throw in the entitlement attitude of the UAW and you've got a pretty strong batch of socialist BS brewing up, there.
  
  I'd really like to see lawmakers come up with the balls to shut this bailout down FOR GOOD. Make the big three file for bankruptcy and force the average UAW lunch-bucket member to wake up and smell the coffee. Maybe they'll ask themselves if big labor has been screwing us all for years now. Maybe? Nah, couldn't be. Those guys are watching out for the little guy, right?
  
  Sure they are, dumbass. Keep paying your monthly dues, no need to use the brain God gave you.



• The Ol' Broad had a fairly cute Obama-inspired reworking of The Twelve Days Of Christmas. You can click here to watch the whole thing, or just watch the truncated video below if you only want to hear the twelfth and final, complete verse:



• I don't agree with Scott at Good News Film Reviews about the movie The Dark Knight. I enjoyed the movie, Scott didn't enjoy the Batman Begins sequel very much at all. And, I have to admit, he makes a really strong case against the film. I'd hate to be the guy who has to go up against Scott in a formal debate.


• Bob Parks has the details on the body of a child found near the home of Casey Anthony. It's unfortunate ... tragic, really ... but if this turns out to be the body of little Caylee Anthony, at least there'll be some closure.
  
  And I'll just say this about that: Casey Anthony appears to be a self-centered, lying, down-right-evil bitch. It looks like her parents have enabled her and coddled her for her entire life. They never made her be accountable for her actions and they never made her stand on her own two feet. Of course, that doesn't always lead to murder, but no good ever comes of it.



• Dennis Miller says that if Obama really claims that he worked his way through the Chicago political machine without ever touching corruption, he's either "oblivious or disingenuous." It's darned hard to argue with that.
  
  It reminds me of my own former Senator, Chuck Robb, who once went to a hotel room with the woman on the Playboy magazine cover to the right. Robb admitted that he got naked in that room with that woman, and that she gave him a massage ... but that nothing else happened.
  
  This was Chuck Robb's way of saying "I believe that everyone within the sound of my voice is a f----ng idiot."
  
  Either that, or he's telling the truth and he's some sort of animate vegetable-alien thing from the planet Lethargis.
  
  And get this: Chuck Robb got re-elected. Which means that I can't say too much about the people who do the voting in Chicago.

Labels: Movies, Music, News, Politics, You Tube

Sometimes it's annoying when popular rock and pop songs are used as the soundtrack for a movie. It's often just one more symptom of a movie maker's absolute lack of creativity, originality and focus.

But, sometimes, a pop song is worked into a movie with real creativity and with real dramatic impact. When a pop song is used well in a movie, both the song and the movie benefit from the mix. Sometimes, in fact, a pop song is used so well in a movie that I can't help but associate the song and the movie forever after. It's a tribute to the skills of the director and/or writer when, working completely independent of the song writer, he or she is able to turn a pop song into an important element of a good movie. Put simply, when it's done right, it's awesome.

Some directors are particularly good at pulling it off. Paul Thomas Anderson and Quentin Tarantino come to mind. Other directors try it rarely, but sometimes to great effect.

This is a list of some of my favorite examples of doing it right.

But first, some rules:

• The song must be arguably popular before it's inclusion in the movie. Unknown songs included to quirky effect on movie soundtracks don't count. Sorry, Garden State.



• The song must be the original recording by the artist that made the song popular. Songs re-recorded for a movie aren't up for consideration. So forget about Guns N' Roses and their unfortunate remake of Sympathy for the Devil from Interview With The Vampire.



• The song can't be something written specifically for the movie. It must be something that the director and/or writer included in the film without the direct contribution of the song's writer. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On will forever be associated with Titanic, but it doesn't count.
  
  
• The song must be a plot element, not not movie background music. In other words, the characters must be aware of the song. Maybe it's playing in the bar or at the house where they are during a given scene. Maybe they're singing along with the song. But it can't simply be part of the soundtrack. As much as I enjoy the music used in Goodfellas, it doesn't count.



• The song can't be a plot element because it's being performed live in the movie. That rules out nearly every musician biopic ever made. For the song to qualify, it has to be played on a radio, a jukebox, or from some other recorded source. It's importance in the scene should seem almost accidental.

And now ... the movies and the music (eleven songs, ten films), in no particular order.

• The Song: American Girl by Tom Petty & The Hearbreakers
  The Movie: The Silence Of The Lambs
  
  Brooke Smith (Grey's Anatomy) is one of the best unsung elements of Jonathan Demme's suspense masterpiece. As Catherine Martin, a prisoner and potential victim of serial killer "Buffalo Bill," Smith manages to convey both extreme vulnerability and surprising resourcefulness. In her first scene in the film, Catherine is driving home, singing along with the radio, utterly unaware of the maniac waiting in the darkness. I can't hear this song without picturing her singing along:





• The Song: You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry
  The Movie: Pulp Fiction
  
  The unspoken attraction between John Travolta and Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction is what makes the movie's first third work so well. That connection culminates (you might even say it's consummated) when the two characters enter a dance competition at a 50's themed club:




• The Songs: Sister Christian by Night Ranger and Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield
  The Movie: Boogie Nights
  
  The primary characters in Boogie Nights are caught in a terrible downward spiral. Late in the film, Mark Wahlberg, John C. Reilly and Thomas Jayne attempt to rob Alfred Molina's whacked out, music obsessed drug dealer. Molina blasts Night Ranger and Rick Springfield on his stereo while his "pool boy" walks around letting off fire crackers ... and the tension builds to tremendous heights. The moment when the tape stops and flips to the other side is particularly jarring:




• The Song: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
  The Movie: Wayne's World
  
  It's silly, it's trivial, it's infectious fun:




• The Song: Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In) by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition
  The Movie: The Big Lebowski
  
  I considered the possibility that this scene violated my "character cognizance" rule, since it's an elaborate dream sequence. But I decided that the scene's inclusion was valid since the Dude is clearly aware of the song. He even choreographs his dream to the music. Besides, it's an intrinsic element of who Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski is. "Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man."




• The Song: Old Time Rock And Roll by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
  The Movie: Risky Business
  
  Enough said:




• The Song: The Logical Song by Supertramp
  The Movie: Magnolia
  
  Frankly, I'm surprised at how much luck I've had finding YouTube clips for the scenes in my list. This is the only one I ran into where my luck ran out completely. No YouTube clip for the scene I'm thinking about apparently exists.
  
  That's unfortunate, because it's a great scene from a wonderful film. And it's a film that uses music inventively and to great effect. Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia utilizes the music in it's soundtrack better than just about any film I can think of. Several of the songs are original compositions by Aimee Mann, written specifically for the film. The scene that revolves around her song Wise Up is particularly well done.
  
  But the scene I'm thinking about involves a horribly sad emotional breakdown by William H. Macy's character. His character is a closeted gay man and former child star with a crush on a bartender at a local bar. As his character confesses his feelings and argues with other bar patrons, Supertramp's Logical Song plays on the jukebox and heightens the drama. I wish I could have found that scene, it's remarkably well constructed.
  
  Lacking that scene, here's a trailer for Anderson's outstanding movie:




• The Song: Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealer's Wheel
  The Movie: Reservoir Dogs
  
  It's a horribly violent, gory scene ... so don't watch this clip without a strong stomach.
  
  It's also one of the most suspenseful, gripping scene's that Quentin Tarantino has ever directed. It might be his finest sequence ever. Like the scene in Boogie Nights with the flipping cassette tape, Tarantino uses the music's absence powerfully. Mr. Blonde begins torturing Marvin the cop, blasting Stealer's Wheel on the radio. Then he walks out to his car to get a can of gasoline, and we follow him, leaving the music behind. When he returns to the warehouse, the very second that I hear the song begin again, my gut clinches up with dread. And that happens every time I see the film. I've probably seen it six or eight times.




• The Song: Tu Es Partout by Edith Piaf
  The Movie: Saving Private Ryan
  
  This song probably isn't something you're going to hear on the radio today, but going by the strictest understanding of my rules, it qualifies.
  
  Shortly before the climactic battle in Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks and Matt Damon pause and listen to Edith Piaf on a record player. Hanks translates the lyrics for Damon, and they talk about their families and the lives they've left behind to go to war. The tension is unspoken, but palpable. Both men know that a battle looms and that they are terribly outgunned, and that neither of them are likely to survive. The song provides both soldiers a moment of respite that's both poignant and profound.
  
  And, of course, there's no YouTube clip for this one, either.
  
  But I did find the song, uploaded to YouTube, by someone else who apparently associates it indelibly with Saving Private Ryan:




• The Song: In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
  The Movie: Say Anything
  
  It's overt. There's nothing subtle about this scene. You could even call it ham-fisted. But there's no denying that it works exactly like it's supposed to:

This is only a partial list of many good examples of movie scenes that utilize pop music organically and artistically. I'm sure you may have a favorite that I didn't include on the list. I'd love to hear about other scenes I may have forgotten ... or may have never seen!

Labels: Movies, Music, You Tube

Remember when society didn't encourage and celebrate people turning themselves into androgynous, discombobulated freaks?

Language warning for this clip. Content warning, too. And I don't even know how else to warn you about the whack-job bizarreness of this clip. It features that senile old turd Larry King interviewing the "pregnant man" and her wife about their "sex life:"

Credit (blame?) to Newsbusters for the video.

The more I actually pay attention to the world around me, the more I agree with one of my favorite bands when they say:

"Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this
Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit... "

Labels: Media, Music, News, You Tube

This looks like American Movie by way of This Is Spinal Tap. And it's a real documentary about a real band. (I vaguely remember Anvil from the '80's.)

I think this has the potential to be very funny and sad at the same time, just like American Movie. I look forward to seeing it. There isn't a proper trailer for the film, apparently, and the clip above is the best clip I could find at YouTube. Click here to see a shorter, better one (although not an embeddable one) at RollingStone.com. There are also several clips at IMDB.

Labels: Humor, Movies, Music, You Tube

I'm a big fan of heavy metal music, I have been since I was a kid and I just refuse to grow out of it. I gotta have my metal.

One consequence of metal addiction is that you're constantly seeking out new bands to check out. One consequence of that is that you get exposed to a huge number of really awful heavy metal bands.

Another consequence is that you see an awful lot of really, really, really awful album covers.

With the Mp3 and the iPod quickly replacing the music store and the CD (just as the CD replaced the classic vinyl LP), maybe it's time to celebrate some of the absolute worst album covers out there before the whole concept of album covers is forgotten forever.

The best thing about this cover is that it features not one but two rockin' metal mustaches.

---

There's just too much going on here.

The being on the cover seems to be a Transformer. MCF could probably tell me for sure if it's an authentic one or not.

One of his legs is either a bus or a subway train, and one of his feet is a tank (I'm talking about the being on the album cover, not MCF). And, he has giant moth wings. Because, you know, he'd look goofy without them. And he's apparently ripped out his (horribly swollen) heart and is in the process of replacing it with ... a large gear. And, really, I don't see how he had any other choice.

---

It's kinda cool that this must be a Latino metal band. My biggest complaint is that the little skeleton-guy is gonna be far to short to play that big-ass guitar.

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Another cover with just far too much going on. I don't blame the old guy for drinking, I'd drink too if I'd lost my right leg and all of my shirt's buttons.

---

Damn you, cruel hand of fate! He finally kisses a girl and it's just as they electrocute him! Doh!

---

What is that thing?

---

Beware the giant Easter eggs of doom!

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I'm fine with this album cover featuring an ax-wielding sumo wrestler with the head of ... the head of a hamster, I think. And I'm fine with all the skulls, which seem to indicate that the sumo hamster guy is really brutal. And I'm fine with the fact that apparently a 747 is about to crash into the sumo hamster guy. Clearly he was asking for it. But why is sumo hamster guy's body pink? That just makes the whole concept seem silly.

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"See! I told you guys that the painting I made in seventh grade would eventually be my own band's album cover!"

---

This last one is my favorite. I just can't decide what I like most about it. Maybe it's the seven-foot tall Lurch lookalike with the formal shirt and the giant hair. Maybe it's the combination of fists and sunglasses. Nothing says "We kick ass" more than fists and sunglasses. Or maybe my favorite thing is the guy second from the right. The one who's right eye appears to be bulging out of his head. There's just so much to love about this album cover. I want a FatHead of this album cover.

Labels: Humor, Music

I was thrilled when MTV2 brought back the Headbanger's Ball, their Saturday Night two-hour block of heavy metal videos.

Wendy was pretty happy about it, too. But, as with all things associated with MTV, our excitement was for naught.

For one thing, MTV2 keeps changing the time and the length of Headbanger's Ball. Sometimes it's still two hours, but often it's just an hour, and sometimes it's an odd 90 minute program.

And they keep pushing the time back further and further. There's just no way to know when or where they'll be playing it. TIVO gets it for us, but we never know when TIVO will be finding it. Lately it's been running in the deepest night when other stations are playing infomercials.

And then, once we get a chunk of Headbanger's Ball metal videos on the TIVO, we end up fast forwarding through damn near all of them because most of them suck.

There is still plenty of good metal out there, old and new ... but MTV2 seems hell-bent on programming bands based, apparently, on record label relationships. So we fast-forward through the whole program, finish it in twenty minutes, and feel disappointed. And we go through this once a week.

Well, to hell with it. Thanks to the beauty of blogs and YouTube, I'll be hosting Headbanger's Ball here at SouthCon whenever I feel like it. And I feel like it now.

Welcome to the first SouthCon edition of the Headbanger's Ball, featuring some of the best heavy metal out there, old and new, but stuff that MTV refuses to play for some damned reason.

We'll start out right with the band that ya always hope to hear when you tune in to Headbanger's Ball... Slayer:

Up next is one of my favorite new bands, unfortunately a band that just broke up this past August after ten years together. Maybe if MTV2 had given them the attention they deserve, they'd still be together. This is HIMSA, the song is Big Timber. MTV2 did play it on Headbanger's Ball a couple of times, but HIMSA could have benefited from exposure at an hour when there are still some people awake.

That last video was a classic from Pantera, Mouth For War, the first track on Vulgar Display Of Power. It's hard to go wrong with Pantera.

This next track doesn't offer much in the way of a visual, it's not a proper video at all. A fan put this together and the only visual image is the cover of the album from which the songs were drawn. The band is Opeth, the album is Watershed, and this is eight minutes or so of outstanding prog metal called The Lotus Eater, my favorite track on the album. Let it play, it's worth it. There's some amazing soloing in there, and the band goes down some surprising alleys musically:

Opeth, followed by Judas Priest, the awesome title track from the 1990 album Painkiller ... lest anyone get the idea that Priest was done after the mid-80's. Not so, my friend.

Up next, a great metal band with an interesting history. Original singer Jesse Leach left Killswitch Engage after their second album, but rather than break up the band recruited singer Howard Jones and continued. Jesse's departure from the band was under the best possible terms, and he even came back to sing harmony vocals on some of the band's first tracks recorded with Howard. For my money, Howard is the better singer ... I think the band traded up. Nonetheless, they did some awesome songs with Jesse, and this video is for one of them. From the album Alive or Just Breathing, here's Killswitch Engage with My Last Serenade:

That was Alice In Chains, their classic Would, from the album Dirt. That track is also on the soundtrack to the film Singles.

Up next, Richmond Virginia's own Lamb of God. This band never fails to bring the heavy in a serious way. For example, the track Now You've Got Something To Die For:

That was the CRIMINALLY underrated band Sevendust, one of two videos for the song Enemy. The other video doesn't have the band in it at all, I like this one better.

And I'll wrap up this ten-video, first addition of the Headbanger's Ball at Southcon with one last vid. I hope you heard something you enjoyed that you're interested in checking out a band or two based on the songs here. This last one is from my favorite lyricist in metal today. Every YouTube copy I saw of the song I really wanted to close with, Disposable Teens, doesn't allow embedding. So I'll go with my second favorite. Here's Marilyn putting our vacuous pop culture on notice, This Is The New Shit:

Labels: Headbanger's Ball, Music, You Tube

An hour and twelve minutes of live Metallica, recorded a couple of weeks ago. Includes half of the new album. Five bucks, man. Five measly bucks. And it sounds great. That's less than the price of lunch at Burger King. What are you waiting for? Go DOWNLOAD IT now!!

Labels: Links, Metallica, Music

Gene Simmons is an awesome guy. Along with being a founding member of Kiss, he's unabashedly patriotic and hawkish on foreign policy.

I don't think we need to worry about Kiss doing an Obama fund raising show.

Gene was recently on NBC's Today show talking about his new non-musical, non-political role as the spokesperson for the AARP. That's right, Gene Simmons is the spokesperson for the the AARP. Eat your heart out, Madonna.

He also manages to slip in a quick salute to the veterans at Walter Reed and takes a cellphone call from his mom:

By the way, Alice Cooper and Ted Nugent are also conservative, thoughtful and charming in interviews.

And I've suspected for a while now, based on the way he bashes hippies and pop culture in his lyrics, that Marilyn Manson is a little bit of a closet right-winger. And the guy is outstanding in interviews. He always seems composed, reflective and very smart. He and I would disagree with regard to the method of his critique of religion ... and yeah, his image is over the top ... but the guy is really smart and I agree with more of what he says than not.

At any rate, each of these guys is a lot more interesting and seem a great deal smarter than the typical left-wing crybaby singing monkeys you see on television.

Take that, Dixie Chicks.

Labels: Media, Music, Politics, You Tube

I'm still celebrating the release of the first outstanding Metallica album in almost two decades.

I've been exchanging e-mails with a few friends about the new album, and we got on the topic of how to rank each Metallica album from best to least. I decided to post my list here for the heck of it.

But first, a list of qualities that qualify me to make such a list:

• I'm soooo metal.


• I've seen Metallica live somewhere between three and five times.


• I have a big-ass Metallica collection, representing 26 years of the band's history.


• I've been a fan of the band's for twenty-two or twenty-three years.


• Really, I'm very, very metal.


• I once saw the Cult open for Metallica and I was close enough to the stage that when the Cult's guitarist came over and started shaking his head around, some of his sweat flew onto me. I didn't protest very loudly.

And so, in order to satisfy the clamoring* for my official ranking of Metallica's albums, here's the list:

The Official SouthCon Metallica Album Ranking

• 01: Master of Puppets. The best album they've done. I got it when it was new, mostly to shut up a friend who kept telling me that, really, he was certain that I'd absolutely LOVE it. My friend was right. I'll never forget the first time through this album. Eye's wide, mouth hung open, stomach clinched, thinking "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God..."
  
  You know those moments when you realize that your taste in music has been changed forever?



• 02: The self-titled Black Album. A grower, not a shower. I didn't know what to make of this album at first, it seemed like a major departure. Now I consider it essential listening. This may be the band's best written album. It's tight, it's solid all the way through, it endures.



• 03: Kill 'Em All. Indispensable, if only because of how well these early songs still go over live. Can you imagine a Metallica show without Seek And Destroy or No Remorse or at least Whiplash?



• 04: Death Magnetic. It's that good. Not yet two weeks old and this one already deserves a high ranking. This is the album hardcore Metallica fans had been hoping and praying for for a long time.



• 05: Load. This is the one I always catch hell about, but I think it's a solid album. It deserves to be ranked this high. Well written, well performed, well produced, only about three clunkers in the set. And I don't mind that it isn't really a "metal" album. Every good band is going to have it's "experimental" period if they last long enough. This album was the highlight of Metallica's experimenting.



• 06: Ride The Lightning. Production quality holds this one back, plus two of Metallica's most boring songs, Trapped Under Ice and Escape. I haven't sat all the way through those two songs in years. But there are some classics on here, and Creeping Death, the title track and For Whom The Bell Tolls are genre staples.



• 07: ...And Justice For All. Production value is a big problem with this album. Most of the songs are too long, too, and some are too repetitive. I suspect that, at this point, Metallica was just doing long songs because they thought their fans expected it. That's why they shortened the songs on the next album, their Black Album. They just did what felt right and said to hell with expectations. I've heard them say that very thing about the Black Album.



• 08: St. Anger. In spite of the genuinely downright bad production and the absence of solos, this is still a set of well written songs. And there is a tremendous energy on the album. Had Bob Rock not sabotaged the band, this would be higher on the list. Songs like Sweet Amber, Dirty Window and The Unnamed Feeling show the band in top song-writing form. Hetfield's vocals are the best element of the album.



• 09: Reload. A group of meandering, mostly unimpressive songs. Standout tracks, the only ones worth listening to, include The Unforgiven II (I catch hell for liking that song, too, but I think it's the best on the album), Fixxxer, The Memory Remains and Bad Seed. Everything else is filler. This should have been an EP.



• 10: The disc of new recordings from the Garage, Inc set. Yeah, I'm mostly including it here to get an even ten albums, and it's totally forgettable. The cover of Sabbra Cadabra and the cover of Blue Oyster Cult's Astronomy are decent, but not worthy of anything more than b-sides. This "album" was totally phoned in.

* ... Note: Author apparently has no idea what the word "clamoring" means.

Labels: Metallica, Music

(With apologies to Disposable.)

I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh much because the guy is an asshole. I do agree with a number of his opinions, but he always makes people who believe the things I believe look bad. I can't stand the guy.

Yesterday, though, I decided to turn on Limbaugh's show on the way home from work because, you know, it's close to election day and news stories break every couple of hours.

Anyway, Limbaugh mentioned that the Grateful Dead are going to be doing a reunion show as an Obama benefit and that their guest musicians at the show will include Gregg Allman, Butch Trucks, Jaimoe, Warren Haynes, Derek Trucks, Marc Quinones, Oteil Burbridge and Jeff Chimenti.

Limbaugh couldn't even properly pronounce Oteil's last name. Oteil, by the way, is a great bass player. And you might already know how I feel about Warren Haynes and his band Gov't Mule.

Limbaugh dismissed the concert and called everyone involved a bunch of "has-beens."

I'm not sure how Limbaugh defines "has-been," but musicians in the prime of their creativity don't qualify as "has-beens" in my opinion.

I guess you can get away with dismissing the surviving members of the Grateful Dead as "has-beens" because, well, Garcia was the only member of that band with any real talent, anyway. The rest of the band was only good for grating vocals and seven hour drum solos.

But Warren Haynes, Derek Trucks and Oteil Burbridge are at the absolute TOP of their game. Those guys are amazing. Dismissing them as "has-beens" is just another instance of Limbaugh running his mouth about something he doesn't know anything about. I've noticed that he almost always does that when he talks about music or movies ... or anything other than sports or politics.

Besides, 99.999% of the rock musicians in the world are liberals. That's just how it works for some reason. And how much Ted Nugent can a conservative guy listen to before you just never want to hear Stranglehold again? If I wanted to listen to music by reliably conservative musicians I'd be stuck with modern country radio. I'd rather gouge my eyes out.

Oh, and about that bumper-music clip from the Pretenders that Limbaugh has used for years ... I'd bet you anything that Chrissie Hynde is an Obama gal.

I never really liked My City Was Gone, but now it's worse because every time I hear it, about fifteen seconds in I expect to hear some douchebag start ranting about having half his brain tied behind his back.

So I turned off Limbaugh out of disgust and heard on the news how Michelle Obama is urging people not to vote for a candidate just because "she's cute."

A clear swipe at Sarah Palin. Mrs. O tried to say that she was actually referring to "herself," but that means that she's either a transparent liar OR she actually thinks she's on the ticket.

Either way, Michelle Obama is vacuous and obnoxious. I've disliked her for a year and a half now and every time she opens her mouth publicly she gives me yet another reason to dislike her.

Boy, I just can't friggin' wait to hear four years of news stories about this biddy's shenanigans while she's the First Lady.

So then I get home and log onto the net and find out that R. Kelly has been acquitted of the charges against him. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? The guy VIDEO TAPED HIMSELF having sex with underage girls. That video tape WAS EVIDENCE IN THE TRIAL, and he was ACQUITTED? Who was on the jury? Michael Jackson and Jerry Lee Lewis? I guess that would be a jury of his peers, wouldn't it?

Somebody wake me when it's 1986.

Labels: Media, Music, News, Obama Watch, Politics

After more than two weeks of literally listening to nothing but the outstanding new Metallica album I finally got a little tired of it. So today when I sat down to read blogs n' junk, I threw together a quick playlist for the Media Player.

About half way through it I began to realize that it was a REALLY, REALLY GOOD playlist. Not only the best one I've put together in a long while, but one of the best playlists I've ever even heard.

And as I sat there contemplating the talent in this playlist that I'd put together I only had one clear thought in my head: "Damn, I'm awesome."

I finally decided that it would be downright irresponsible not to share this playlist with the world. Here's a quick, sloppy screen-grab. Just in case you're ever trying to assemble the worlds most awesomest playlist, these are the songs you'll need:

Labels: Music, Trivial Matters

Keyboard player and founding member of Pink Floyd loses his battle with cancer. He was 65.

Labels: Music, News

A Backward-Looking History Of Metallica

2008

Event: Release of album Death Magnetic.

After some sixteen months of internet hype and speculation, Metallica releases Rick Ruben produced ninth studio album through Warner Brothers Records.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: After years of lackluster experiments with other sounds and song styles, the band returns to their thrash metal roots in an obvious attempt to sell records. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

2004

Event: Film Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster documents the recording of Metallica's most current album.

Documentary reveals the inner conflicts of a band in turmoil. Key scenes involve the band's group therapist inviting himself to become a "fifth member" of the band and guitarist Kirk Hammett surfing. Guitarist/singer James Hetfield and drummer Lars Ulrich spend most of the movie shrieking at one another.

Several scenes reveal producer Bob Rock's attempts to get the feuding members of Metallica to quit having slap fights long enough to record a few tracks. Film also documents hiring of veteran bass player and all-around badass guy, Robert Trujillo.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: The movie reveals the band to be a bunch of spoiled, rich cry-babies. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

2003

Event: Album St. Anger is released with bonus DVD and coupon to download free audio from four concerts.

The angry, disjointed, noisy sessions during which St. Anger was recorded result in an angry, disjointed, noisy album. Listeners aren't sure why producer Bob Rock decided to create a "Fisher Price" drum sound. Lack of guitar solos and "low-fi" sound quality give the album an ill-timed, ill-conceived "grunge" feel. Rock's tenure as Metallica's producer comes to disappointing, inevitable close.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: The album indicates that at this point, Bob Rock is totally in control of the band. Fans worry that next album will feature Metallica simply as a backing band while Rock croons Aerosmith covers. Or perhaps they'll do a ska record. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

2001

Event: Bassist Jason Newstead leaves the band, frustrated that founders Hetfield and Ulrich won't allow him work on side-projects during his free time.

All your bass are belong to us.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Newstead's departure indicates that even the members of Metallica can't stand the members of Metallica. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

2000

Event: Napster uproar.

After an incomplete demo of the song I Disappear turns up on the internet, Metallica sues file sharing services for enabling copyright infringement.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Metallica doesn't understand the internet. Now that they're rich and lazy they want to squeeze their fans for every nickel and dime. Rumor spread that Lars has been drumming in an ascot and monocle. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1999

Event: Release of S&M two-disc set.

Metallica records renditions of their songs supported by the San Francisco Symphony and composer/conductor Michael Kamen. During the performance, Hetfield refers to the song Of Wolf And Man as Of Wolfgang And Man, a reference to Mozart. Really. I didn't make that stupid crap up.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: And, oh, how they danced; the little children of Stonehenge. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1998

Event: Double-disc collection Garage, Inc includes a disc of newly recorded covers and some older material that had previously been released as b-sides and on EPs.

Many fans perplexed by some of the material found on the disc of new songs, including covers of originals by Nick Cave, Bob Seger and Thin Lizzy.

The band releases a video for the song Turn The Page featuring porno actress Ginger Lynn. Seriously, that's who that was in the video.

Guest musicians on the Lynyrd Skynyrd cover Tuesday's Gone include Pepper Keenan (Corrosion Of Conformity), Jerry Cantrell and Sean Kinney (Alice In Chains), Jim Martin (Faith No More), John Popper (Blues Traveler), Gary Rossington (Lynyrd Skynyrd), Les Claypool (Primus), Ja-Rule (Murder, Inc), Natasha Bedingfield (Featuring Sean Kingston), Gwen Stefani (No Doubt), Missy ("Misdemeanor") Elliott, Cirque du Soleil, Billy Bob Thornton, The San Francisco Symphony and composer/conductor Michael Kamen.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: The band is trying to re-sell old material that their fans have already bought once. To make the set more "attractive" to potential buyers it includes a disc of hastily recorded covers. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1997

Event: Album Reload released to non-clamoring fans.

Ulrich tells fans that Reload is conceptually the second disc of a double album, along with the previous release, Load.

Fans respond that Reload is conceptually a piece of shit.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: The album features guest vocals by 60's icon Maryanne Faithful, who appears to be singing with her throat slit. Single Fuel adopted by NASCAR for theme song in TV broadcasts. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1996

Event: Five years of recording silence is broken with the release of album Load.

Long absent band returns with new non-metal album, short hair, eye-liner. Promotes album on Lollapalooza tour.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Long absent band returns with new non-metal album, short hair, eye-liner. Promotes album on Lollapalooza tour. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1992

Event: Jump in the fire.

Metallica tours with Guns N' Roses. Axl Rose makes headlines during the tour by exciting riots and engaging fans in fights. Not to be outdone, Hetfield climaxes Metallica's August 8th show by setting himself on fire. Gene Simmons, Alice Cooper and Screamin' Jay Hawkins simultaniously say "Damn."

Band claims that Hetfield's injuries were the result of a pyro effect gone wrong. Hard rock band Great White notes incident, vowing to never misuse pyrotechnics.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Footage of Hetfield's self-immolation is not included in the concert videos that accompany the Live Shit: Binge And Purge box set. Disappointed fans get second mortgages to buy box-set only to sit crestfallen in front of their TVs without ever seeing the singer burst into flame. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1991

Event: Self-titled Black Album released, sells seventy million zillion bajillion copies.

Metallica gets first taste of genuine cross-format commercial success with huge hits Enter Sandman and The Unforgiven.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Most songs on the album are under fifteen minutes long. Some songs are based around two or fewer riffs. Album marks band's first collaboration with Bob Rock, producer noted for working on albums by Motley Crue, David Lee Roth and Bon Jovi. Ballad Nothing Else Matters suitable for playing over a boom box under your girlfriend's window. Metallica produces videos for seventeen of the album's twelve songs. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1988

Event: Album ...And Justice For All released.

Album features new bass player Jason Newstead, who replaced the late, great Cliff Burton. New guy goes on to be Metallica's longest running bass player to date, staying in the band roughly fifteen years.

Album features muted "wow-wow" bass sound that leads fans to wonder if Newstead is actually on the album. Long-time producer Flemming Rasmussen never works with the band again.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Band produces their first MTV-ready video for the song One. Video features such 80's MTV staples as Tawnie Kitaen dancing on top of luxury cars, caged go-go girls in skimpy bikinis, a blind, deaf, mute, limbless man writhing in pain, and actor Jason Robards talking about war. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1986

Event: Major-label debut and undisputed greatest metal album of all time, Master Of Puppets, ships to record stores and malls across America.

Early copies of the album have a sticker on the front that reads ""The only track you probably won't want to play is "Damage, Inc." due to the multiple use of the infamous "F" word. otherwise, there aren't any "Shits," "Fucks," "Pisses," "Sucks," "Cunts," "Motherfuckers," or "Cocksuckers" anywhere on this record".

Really.

Fifty million teenage boys hear the album, say all of the curse words listed on the sticker in agog amazement, and run out and form bands. Metallica supports album with tour opening for Ozzy Osbourne.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Band reveals obvious desire to move a lot of units by signing contract to release albums for major label Elektra Records. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1984

Event: Band's second album, Ride The Lightning, creates major buzz.

Album features metal classic Creeping Death, the band's most consistent show-opener.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Metallica's first "power ballad," Fade To Black, closes side one of the album. The song, an angry screed about suicide, features lyrics such as "Deathly lost, this cant be real / Cannot stand this hell I feel." This is an obvious attempt to score with chicks because they dig that sort of junk. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1983

Event: Metallica releases debut album, Kill 'em All on independent label Megaforce Records.

Band begins cycle of perpetual touring, drinking, fighting and recording long songs full of a zillion riffs.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: In an obvious play for commercial viability, band fires original guitarist Dave Mustaine before recording, simply because he's always too drunk to play his instrument. Replaced by guitarist Kirk Hammett, Mustaine goes on to form his own successful and popular metal band, Winger. Metallica relents on original goal of naming the album Metal Up Your Ass so that record stores will stock it, hoping to sell lots of copies. Long time fans proclaim that the band is "no longer relevant."

1981

Event: James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich form a band, Metallica, and look for friends to flesh out the line-up.

Band members take turns hosting "jam sessions" in each other's parents' basements.

How this is proof that Metallica has sold out: Lars Ulrich has admitted that he stole the name "Metallica" from a fellow high school student who showed him a list of possible "cool band names." Fellow high school student proclaims that Lars is "a Danish asshole."

Note about the above time line:

Some of that crap I made up. But the stuff that I insisted was for real really was for real.

I can't imagine my life without Metallica. God bless ya, guys.

Mustaine is awesome. Winger rules.

Labels: Humor, Metallica, Music

Remember Heart? They had a bunch of hits in the 70's and 80's. Then they put on weight and faded into obscurity. As an obscure, fat guy, I guess I can relate. But I'm surprised at their determination to cling to their obscurity:

For Ann and Nancy Wilson of the rock band Heart, there's nothing fitting about the Republican National Convention's use of their 1977 hit "Barracuda."

That much became clear after the sisters issued a cease-and-desist order to Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign. The order seeks to bar the McCain campaign from using the song as an anthem to underscore images and appearances of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

HT: Bob Parks.

I hadn't heard Heart on TV or the radio in ages when that song was used at the GOP Convention. And I guess that, as of now, I won't be hearing them again.

Then there's this, from Michelle Malkin, regarding Barbra Streisand's upcoming gig at an Obama fund-raiser:

(Streisand) will sing for her savior. And we should cheer. Because it has done wonders for all the other political candidates she has supported. When Barbra croons for you, you can kiss your chances of winning goodbye.

Good point. Streisand has performed for Hillary Clinton, Al Gore and John Kerry, all relegated to the "where are they now" file. Maybe the most patriotic thing she could do at this point is dedicate a song to Osama bin Ladin?

Labels: Music, News, Politics

You may have heard that the new Metallica album leaked to the net last night, and that the band is basically fine with that. Lars says

"Listen, we're ten days from release ... If this thing leaks all over the world today or tomorrow, happy days. Happy days. Trust me ... Everybody's happy. It's 2008 and it's part of how it is these days, so it's fine. We're happy."

Spoken like a guy who gets it. It wasn't too long ago that Metallica's attitude about music on the internet was ... uh ... "You can do it your own way, if it's done just how I say."

I don't mind admitting that I've been been desperately searching for a leaked copy of this album for more than a month now. So I was in the right place at the right time when a blogger who shall remain nameless posted a link last night at about 10:00 PM Eastern.

For the record, I have every intention of buying the new album on CD when it hits the stores on September 12th. But I've been a rabid Metallica fan since the '80's and I just could not wait to hear it.

I've listened to Death Magnetic about four times now. I'm so happy with it that I'm surprised that I can do anything other than roll around in the floor, kick my feet in the air, and giggle.

As of now, the self-indulgent, meandering, artsy-fartsy Metallica that made Load, Reload and St. Anger seems to be gone.

I'm glad to be able to report that, instead, the self-indulgent, meandering, artsy-fartsy Metallica that made the band's ground-breaking first four albums is back. In a big, loud way. And it's music to my ears.

2003's St. Anger was supposed to be a return to the band's thrash metal roots after several years spent experimenting with everything from alt-prog rock to faux celtic dirges to haughty, orchestral crap. But St. Anger was produced by a band in crisis, as the 2004 documentary Some Kind Of Monster revealed. Instead of re-embracing their origins, St. Anger seemed to be the sound of a band grasping aimlessly.

The combination of sobriety, group therapy, and the chops of outstanding new bass player Robert Trujillo seems to have seriously re-energized this band. In spite of it's morose title, Death Magnetic is the product of a band experiencing rebirth.

Death is a topic that pervades the album's lyrics; but there's nothing macabre here. These aren't songs that glorify death, the way a band made up of late-teens might if they were trying to come off like bad asses. If the members of Metallica are showing their (pushing 50) age at all, it's in the lyrical maturity and introspection offered here. These songs reflect on death not as a subject of fascination but as an ultimatum ... an inspiration to squeeze every damn drop of life out of every day you spend breathing. Death is magnetic ... it draws us all. But get the polarity right and you can push like hell back against it. That's the dynamic in these songs.

And, musically, this is the Metallica that those of us who've followed the band for 20 plus years know and love. The songs are long, heavy as anything, and full of freight-train riffs and jack-knife time changes. There's even a full-on metal instrumental in the tradition of Orion and To Live Is To Die. Only one song, the unfortunately titled Unforgiven III, slows the tempo significantly. That's probably my least favorite song on the album. But I gotta admit, Kirk Hammett's guitar solo in that song is one of the best on the album. I don't see me skipping this song when I listen to this disc. It'll grow on me, I'm sure.

Rejoice, Metallica fans. This is the album we've wanted for years. It belongs on the top shelf, with Master Of Puppets (their best album ever) and 91's watershed Black Album.

2008 is the year of Death Magnetic. No others need apply.

---

PS - a note to the 20 year old snotnose punks who'll find this review through Google and stop by to leave poorly worded, misspelled, idiotic, belligerent comments: Shut up, boy. I was listening to this band in specific and METAL in general before you were even born. I really don't care what you have to say and I'll just delete your comments as soon as I see them. Move along, Junior. I'm sure your friends are waiting for you in World Of Warcraft.

Labels: Metallica, Music, News

Watching this is like being punched. Hard. So don't say I didn't warn you.

I didn't know that this footage existed. It's raw, obviously shot by a fan from the crowd. Maybe on a cellphone, hell, I don't know.

This is from Johnny Cash's last concert. It took place barely a month after the death of June Carter, Johnny's beloved wife of 40 years. ("Beloved" isn't really the word, but there isn't any one word.) The date was 6/21/2003. That's two days before what would have been June's 74th birthday.

This is hard to watch. Cash was in terrible health and was probably dealing with as much heartache as a man can feel and still keep breathing.

As a matter of fact, Cash only lived a few more months. He passed on September 12, 2003.

Anyway, here's the clip. Cash talks here about having lost June and dedicates the classic Angel Band to her. If you can make it through this without your eyes leaking you're a stronger man than I am.

There are more clips from the performance at YouTube. Click here to see them.

Labels: Johnny Cash, Music, You Tube

A blogger who somehow obtained and posted nine tracks from the upcoming Guns N' Roses album has been thrown in the pokey:

FBI agents arrested 27-year-old Kevin Cogill on Wednesday morning on suspicion of violating federal copyright laws. Cogill appeared in court in the afternoon in a T-shirt.

Federal authorities say Cogill posted nine unreleased Guns N' Roses songs on his Web site in June. The songs were later removed.

Wow. Chinese Democracy actually exists?

Cogill's bail was ten thousand bucks and he'll be back in court on September 17th.

Now, of course, I'm far to upstanding a citizen to listen to nine illegally posted new Guns' N Roses songs.

But if I had heard them (which I haven't), I might say that a few of them are actually pretty good, that Axl's voice isn't any worse for wear after all these years, and that the absence of Slash is a real chink in the armor. I might also say that one of the songs is an overlong piano ballad in the "November Rain" tradition, and that it's the only song of the nine that I flat out dislike.

And I might say that two of the songs are really very good.

Of course, all of this is theoretical. These are things I might say if I'd actually heard the songs, which I haven't. And I'm not looking forward to putting the two songs I really theoretically liked on my MP3 player. Because I haven't heard them.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Labels: Music, News

Click here now!

This one reminds me of Through The Never and a bit of Whiplash.

I do kinda wish they hadn't posted this particular song. This one is the album-closer, according to the track listing at Wikipedia. I feel like I've heard it out of context.

I'm going nuts over these new songs. I've looked everywhere for a leaked copy of the album with no luck. Don't worry, Lars is going to get his money, I'm gonna buy the album on September 12. I'd just like to be able to actually listen to the damn thing now.

I've seen all kinds of sources for .zip and .rar files that are said to contain Death Magnetic, but they're all frauds.

PS - A note to 22 year old self-proclaimed "metal experts." I was literally listening to Metallica when you were still pooping in your pampers. You can't teach me a damn thing about what is or is not authentic Metallica. So shut up.

Labels: Links, Metallica, Music

First of all, full disclosure: I think that Slipknot's album The Volume 3, The Subliminal Verses is a darn good metal album. Really, one of the best metal albums of the last ten years. I'm not proud of the fact that I really enjoy a Slipknot album, but there it is.

There's just something embarrassing about admitting that you like anything connected to a band that wears those painfully inane masks.

I also like Marilyn Manson a whole lot. The lyrics to "This Is The New $#!T", a seething indictment of pop culture, might be my favorite rock song lyrics of all time.

I'm just glad to get this out in the open. Ya know? So while I'm purging, I'll also admit that I once bought a Drivin' And Cryin' album on cassette. But I didn't like it and I don't know where it is now. So Fly Me. Courageous.

Whew. That really wasn't so bad. And you do feel better once you get it out in the open.

Anyway, below you'll find a video clip of a guy who who seems to be Waldo personified interviewing a couple of the members of Slipknot. The interviewer seems to be doing a character, kind of an idiot man-child thing. And the members of Slipknot seem to be responding earnestly, and yet the members of Slipknot actually come off stupider than the man-boy Waldo character. Maybe it's impossible to not come off like idiots while wearing those masks.

I got several laughs out of this four minute clip. And just to be clear, I was laughing AT Slipknot, a band which did an album that I like a lot, although it pains me to admit that I enjoy one of their albums.

My favorite part is "You hear all that metal? It's ON!"

Honestly, it's pretty bad when Flava Flav seems smarter and more savvy than you are. The Waldo guy interviews a number of celebrities at his YouTube page. Apparently he did (does?) his interviews for Much Music, which was like Canadian MTV back in the '80's and '90's. I don't think it's around anymore. Anyway, there are interview subjects going back twenty-odd years, including James Brown, Pierre Trudeau and Henry Rollins. The Waldo dude really does his research and manages to ask questions about some deeply obscure stuff, making some of these celebs viscerally uncomfortable.

(Now please click the comments link and read the obligatory "YOU SUXX!!! SLIPKNOT ARE BESST BAND IN METAL!!!!!!! YOU ARE ASSFACE STUPID MORRON!!!!" comments that this post will undoubtedly gather over time.)

Labels: Humor, Music, You Tube

The first single from Death Magnetic, called The Day That Never Comes, is AWESOME!!

This clip is not a proper "video," just the single's cover art and the song. And that's all you need.

The first three, three-and-a-half minutes is just build-up. Once the song really gets going it kicks ass ... and everything between the five-minute mark and the end of the song is just pure Metallica in the best sense of the word. Man, it's good to hear Kurt shredding again.

Update: I've listened to the song four or five times now and I friggin' LOVE it. I can't get over how much it lives up to my hopes. It reminds me of One, what with it's mellow, ballady beginning and it's insane riffing at the end. If this is any indication of what the album is going to be like, I can't wait to pony up my twelve bucks to buy it next month. Lars, James, Robert, Kirk ... looks like you guys finally did right by your fans. Now, why didn't you do this in '91 to begin with and save us seventeen years of heartache? But enough bitchin'. Metallica is back. Long may they reign.

Update 2: Click here to hear short clips of several songs from the album. I'm downright giddy about this. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about an upcoming album.

Labels: Metallica, Music, You Tube

"I have spent most of my life (like most people) avoiding transcendence at all costs, mainly because the shit hurts. Merely defining transcendence can sometimes be painful. I once heard that 'Transcendence is the act of going through something'. Ouch. I see plate glass windows and divorces.

Someone else told me that it was 'rising above whatever one encountered in one's path' but at this point in my life that smacks of avoidance as well as elitism of some sort. I am compelled to look back on years of going through, above, as well as around my life looking for loopholes to redefine everything including any and all of the ideas that I have held close to my heart along the way - Art - Freedom - Justice - Revolution - Love (a big one) - Growth - Passion - Parenting (a really big one) - and I find that for me, for now, transcendence is about being still enough long enough to know when it's time to move on."

--Steve Earle

Steve Earle -- Transcendental Blues:


In the darkest hour of the longest night
If it was in my power I'd step into the light.
Candles on the altar, penny in my shoe,
Walk upon the water.
Transcendental blues.

Happy ever after 'til the day you die,
Careful what you ask for, you don't know 'til you try.
Your hands are in your pockets, staring at your shoes
And wishing you could stop it.
Transcendental blues.

If I had it my way, everything would change.
But out here on this highway the rules are still the same.
Back roads never carry you where you want them to.
They leave you standing there with the
Transcendental Blues.

Labels: Music, You Tube

Lots of big, scary news today.

Man, I'll be glad when I go back to work (this coming Monday, God willing) for a number of reasons. One of them, the reason that's on my mind right now, is that when I go back to work I won't be sitting here all day and night watching the cable-news talking heads and clicking every link at Google News and getting the living crud scared out of me.

Today there's all kinds of bad news. I think we can all agree that the world will probably come to an end by about 6:00 PM this evening. I just hope there's time to finish dinner first.

Here's some of the news stories that I'm freaking out about:

• Russia is acting a fool
  
  This is no joke, man. This is real, this is scary crap.
  

  A roll of explosions at a Russian-occupied military base this week sent a clear Kremlin message to Georgia about the frailty of its infant military and its prospects for NATO membership.
  
  The Russian army destroyed a hoard of Georgian arms and ammunition captured in a brief war that saw Georgian forces scattered, their bases seized and equipment carried off.

  
  I really thought the days of Russia just rolling over little neighboring countries was over. Maybe the whole world thought those days were over and that's why nobody seems willing or able to respond. And I don't blame 'em; I'd hate to be the guy in charge who had to make the decision to attack the Russian army, even if they are on another country's soil.
  
  And then there's the Poland thing:
  

  Russia issued a harsh response on Wednesday to the announcement of a deal between Poland and the United States to base part of a U.S. missile defense system on Polish soil.
  
  "Russia in this case will have to react and not only through diplomatic protests," Russia's Foreign Ministry said...
  
  (Russia) scorned the decision to base a battery of U.S. Patriot missiles in Poland, saying it would provide no protection against any "imaginary Iranian danger".

  
  Holy friggin' crap. "Imaginary Iranian danger?" NATO is on board with this missile defense system, this isn't some kind of shady deal between the US and Poland. Man! It doesn't seem very long ago that the common enemy of Islamic terrorism was going to strengthen the relationship between the US and Russia.
  
  Thankfully, the memory of oppression by the USSR seems to be pretty strong in Poland:
  

  In a clear swipe at Russia, Poland's President Lech Kaczynski on Tuesday said his country would not give in to threats over its deal with Washington to deploy US missile silos on Polish soil.
  
  "No-one can dictate to Poland what it should do. That's in the past," Kaczynski said...
  
  "No-one should be afraid of this (missile plan), if they have good intentions towards us or the rest of the West," Kaczynski said.

  
  It's good to see that Poland is willing to poke back a little bit.
  
  This is bound to be part of the reason that McCain is actually polling ahead of Obama. Americans know McCain and know that he's had Putin and Russia figured out all along:




• But McCain shouldn't get too comfortable
  
  There's increasing noise about McCain picking Joe Lieberman as his running mate.
  
  Look, I like Joe Lieberman. I really do. He's a "hawkish" liberal, one of the last of his kind. It's nice to see that there are still a few realistic liberals out there. Heck, to tell the truth, I toyed with the idea of supporting Lieberman's presidential bid in 2004. But when push comes to shove, there's still one issue that rules the day: Joe Lieberman supports abortion on demand and I won't vote for a pro-abortion-on-demand ticket. Even a partially pro-abortion ticket.
  
  If McCain picks Lieberman, I'll stay home in November. I won't vote at all. I hope that other pro-life conservatives will sit this one out, too. If the GOP softens on abortion, we will need to send a strong message. Betray the pro-life contingent and you lose our vote. And you can't win without us.
  
  I'd rather skip the election and feel like I'm letting Obama win then vote against my deepest beliefs. Abortion-on-demand is the moral scandal of our time. There can't be any compromise on this issue.



• The Watchmen debacle
  
  There's some sort of power-struggle going on between 20th Century Fox and Warner Brothers about who actually owns the rights to make a movie based on Watchmen.
  
  What this means, in a nutshell, is that Zack Snyder's potentially worthwhile film adaptation of "the greatest comic book of all time" might be delayed from release:
  

  Twentieth Century Fox’s war with Warner Bros. over rights to Watchmen has sparked fan outrage across the Web following a published report that Fox is seeking to prevent Zack Snyder’s $100 million-plus comic book adaptation from ever being released...

  
  Of course, this isn't going to cause Snyder's movie to be shelved forever. There's too much money to be made from it. The studios will figure out a way to fix things so that all the invested parties get a slice of the pie. Even the article I linked to acknowledged that.
  
  But you know how things go when the Lawyers get involved. The Watchmen movie might not be released in March, as originally planned. We might have a year to wait, maybe even longer.
  
  Hey, it's small potatoes compared to Russia, Georgia and Poland. But it still sucks.



• DMB sax player LeRoi Moore dies
  
  I enjoy the Dave Matthews Band's music, and LeRoi Moore has done some sax solos that were, in my opinion, the best thing about some of their songs. I didn't even know that the guy had been severely injured in June in an ATV accident. And now he's died:
  

  The band went ahead with a scheduled concert in Los Angeles on Tuesday evening and dedicated the performance to Moore...
  
  Hours after Moore's death, Dave Matthews told the audience at Tuesday's concert that his bandmate "gave up his ghost today," adding: "and we will miss him forever," according to the Orange County Register newspaper.

  
  That just sucks. And that's all I can think of to say about it.



• Big, scary tower
  
  This photo of the giant skyscraper they're building in Dubai probably isn't scary to most people ... but in my current frame of mind I can't look at it without seeing the Eye of Sauron on top of it:

  

  Found this at Geekologie.





• The Mojave marketing trickery
  
  Microsoft has launched a big campaign to try to ease consumer fears about Vista and get people to buy their latest floundering OS.
  
  Don't believe a word of it. Vista sucks. Sure, you could take a bunch of people who've never seen Vista and let them spend twenty minutes pointing and clicking on a Vista-installed notebook and convince them that the OS is top notch. But that's not proof of anything and it's not intellectual honesty. It's salesmanship. It's the same thing that enables used car salesmen to get people to drive lemons off the lot.
  
  I'm writing this from a Dell PC that runs Vista. I've been an unhappy Vista user for months now. Vista crashes all the time. Programs lock up, fail to load, and don't run properly in Vista every day. I have constant networking problems with Vista; it's pure hell keeping my LAN and Internet connections working from this computer. Vista has lots of bells and whistles, and it comes with a really cool looking Mahjong game. But other than that It's a total lemon compared to the previous, vastly superior Microsoft XP operating system.

Labels: Microsoft, Movies, Music, News, Politics, Watchmen

Stupid radio. What in the name of all that's good and righteous gets into the heads of some program directors? What causes them to continue airing songs like Let Me Clear My Throat and What's Up? and Cotton-Eyed Joe in 2008?? Haven't we, as a species, come further than that by now?

I mean, damn!

But now and then a random radio station will miraculously broadcast a great older song that you've long forgotten. Like this one:

It's under my skin but out of my hands.
I'll tear it apart, but I won't understand.
I will not accept the greatness of man.

That's one of my all time favorite passages from the annals of pop lyrics. It honestly gives me chills. At the risk of coming off like a total Nancy-boy, that's the truth. It gives me chills.

Labels: Music, You Tube

The first song that most of us have been able to hear in it's entirety from the new Metallica album:

It didn't grab me the first time I listened to it last night. It just kinda went in one ear and out the other.

But I listened again today, and maybe the key was that I listened rather than watched. I minimized the browser window and didn't look at the YouTube clip, I just listened to the song. The second time through I enjoyed it more. I wouldn't say I "loved" it, but I did enjoy it, and it might grow on me. I'm still super excited to hear the whole album.

Labels: Metallica, Music, You Tube

Now and then, I suppose, each of us needs to spend a little time in quiet contemplation, trying to puzzle out the lyrics to Blinded By The Light.

There's a lot of information about the song floating around on the internet, but very little of it seems to be a matter of consensus. Everybody agrees that the song was written and originally recorded by Bruce Springsteen. Everybody agrees that the version recorded by Manfred Mann's Earth Band was the bigger hit single. After that it's all chaos.

This MSNBC page has a number of handy links, including the official Springsteen lyrics and the lyrics as recorded by Manfred Mann. But knowing the words that are actually being sung doesn't make it any easier to figure out what the song is about.

Of course everyone thinks that Manfred Mann's version has a line about being "Revved up like a douche," which makes no sense. The Manfred Mann lyrics page clarifies the lyric as "revved up like a deuce," and the original Springsteen version goes "cut loose like a deuce."

And that doesn't make any sense, either. A deuce? Huh?

Wikipedia says that a deuce is slang for a DUI in California. So does the song glorify driving while intoxicated in California? Probably not. Springsteen is famously from New Jersey, not California.

Princeton says that one definition of a deuce is "a devil." OK. Revved up like a devil? Cut loose like a devil? Of course, a deuce is also a tied game in tennis. But that doesn't make any sense, either. And the two-cards in a deck of cards are also called deuces. But that definition doesn't really help decode the song.

This page says that a Deuce is a 1932 Ford. That kinda makes sense. You can rev up and/or cut loose a car. So that works. And this page at the Song Facts website agrees that the "deuce" in question is a "1932 Ford Hotrod."

Not that I really trust the Song Facts website. After all, it also contains the following tidbits:

...he was coaching his son's little league at the time, and wrapped up like a duece refers to a double play,with runners in the night...

Oh, OK, it's a baseball song. So the "Indians in the summer" referenced in the first line must be the Cleveland Indians. And late in the Springsteen version when Bruce sings "Well I jumped up, turned around, spit in the air, fell on the ground," he must be talking about signaling to the pitcher. You know; "throw your slider, Meat."

Oh, no, wait: Tommy in New York says that

"indians in the summer" refers to bruce's childhood baseball team, the indians

Ah. OK. Screw Cleveland.

The Cyberpope in Richmond, Canada offers the following:

I thought it was "break ope' like a douche. . ." & just imagined it was referring to a horrible, horrible grossness

Thank you very much for that vaguely disgusting image. You're not really the Cyberpope, are you? I don't think the real Cyberpope would post anything like that. I think the real Cyberpope would have come up with an interpretation like the one submitted by Andrew in Apex, NC:

This song is about Paul's conversion, as told in the Acts of the Apostles. The verses retell the story as a present-day singer trying to get a gig. It uses several metaphores in a stream-of-conscienceness style.

Well, of course. The lyrics are clearly VERY biblical now that I know that. All they need is a slight change and they're straight out of the New Testament:

"And, lo, little Early Pearly hath come by in his curly wurly. Verily, thus he spake: 'Needeth thou a ride?'"

No, that won't hold water, either.

Gene in Sterling Heights, MI says

Regarding Graham's comment on meaningless lyrics, "Go-Kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather charts, etc." is somewhat cryptic but translates thus. "checkin' out the weather charts" refers to the song "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Go-Kart Mozart is the writer of the song, who raced go-karts at that time. The lyric refers to Gordon Lightfoot.

Over at the MSNBC page, JB takes issue with that interpretation:

So "Blinded By the Light", released in 1973, references a 1976 song about a 1975 shipwreck? I guess that's why Brucie is the megastar he is. What foresight!

OK, scratch the Lightfoot interpretation.

Margret in Chicago says:

The line "In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into is hat." pretty strongly hints at masturbation.

Yes, it does. It also strongly hints at a ruined hat. His HAT, for Pete's sake? Why his HAT? I mean, SURELY there was a better option.

Man, to heck with trying to figure this song out. I can't even decide on a definitive version of the song. Springsteen wrote it, so you'd think his version would be definitive by default ... but Manfred Mann rearranged the song so dramatically, and the Manfred Mann version is by far the better known of the two. So it's hard to pick.

Here's the Springsteen version:




Here's Manfred Mann's Earth Band:

Both awesome in their own ways. But I think I have to give my vote for the definitive version to these talented performance artists who express the song's complex and profound themes through interpretive dance:

Labels: Humor, Music, You Tube

How much cooler and funnier than Lars Ulrich is Kid Rock? A whole bunch much cooler and funnier:

Language Warning: Kid Rock uses the Eff Word.

Labels: Humor, Music, You Tube

My hopes are high for the new Metallica ... and part of me thinks that I'm setting myself up for a major let-down.

Then I see stuff like this clip of the band working on one of the songs and I just get flat-out giddy:

Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please ... let them have just one more good album in them.

Labels: Metallica, Music, You Tube

Just a quick note; I'm still alive, still waiting for my bladder to heal post-surgery, still dashing to the bathroom every seven seconds (or so it seems).

Here's a quick list of the distractions that have been preoccupying me for the last few days. Consider these the reasons I haven't been blogging much.

• My doctor changed my medication with the hope that stronger stuff would help me sleep and have less pain. Success! My sleep is still sporadic, but I'm glad to be getting any sleep at all, so I'll take it when I can get it.



• I rented Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and it might be the greatest first-person-shooter of all time. It's just about the best I've ever played, at least. A few minutes ago I shot down a helicopter with a sidewinder missle! Take that, terrorist scum! Booo-yah!



• Into The Wild, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Unleashed: Danny The Dog are all OK-to-good movies and all worth reviewing. And In Bruges is an outstanding movie. All of them are worth reviewing and I ought to write reviews of all of 'em.



• Deep Banana Blackout and Umphrey's McGee are both awesome jam bands that I've just discovered. If you're into Phish, Gov't Mule, etc, you should check these bands out, too.



• The kids are all with their other parents this week, so Wendy and I have had a lot of time to catch up on movies that aren't rated G or PG (see list of movies above) and TV shows we wouldn't watch with the kids around. And speaking of TV...



• The Sci-Fi Channel is running an all-day Twilight Zone marathon today and tomorrow. This is the original 1959-1964 series, which I used to watch in reruns growing up, and I just can't get enough of this stuff. I don't think my all-time favorite episode, titled Spur Of The Moment, is scheduled to run, though.

Hope everybody has a good 4th! I'll blog more when I have fewer distractions.

Labels: Bladder Cancer, Movies, Music, Personal, Trivial Matters, Video Games

Labels: Movies, Music, You Tube

So the number of people in our family who own musical instruments that they can't (yet) actually play is now three.

I have an acoustic guitar. It sits in a corner in our bedroom and mocks me. Every time I walk past it it quietly snickers and occasionally whispers "Psssst! Hey! When was the last time you actually picked me up? You might as well have bought a rocket launcher the day you bought me."

My son owns an electric guitar, and to his credit, he does take lessons. I have to wonder, though, if he originally wanted a guitar because of a deep drive to create music or because of another time-honored reason: chicks dig guys who play guitar.

Today Liam became the first person in our family to pursue a future as a bass player. He started talking about wanting to get a bass guitar quite a while ago, but Wendy and I quietly discouraged him. We were afraid that he thought that playing bass would be as easy as playing Guitar Hero, a video game he's actually very good at.

But Liam persisted, and made up his mind that if we wouldn't buy him a bass, he'd by-God buy one himself. So for months every dollar he received from the Tooth Fairy or for a birthday or a holiday, whatever, went into Liam's bass fund. And whattaya know if he didn't eventually save enough money to buy himself a bass. Fed Ex brought it today and he spent some of the evening studiously watching the included instructional DVD and plucking away.

That bass is bigger than he is. But he seems pretty serious about it. Good for him.

Liam got me thinking about bass guitar today, how much I enjoy good bass guitar and how important a good bass player can be in a band. So I did what bloggers everywhere do when confronted with such a topic. I made a top-ten list and even put together a YouTube video.

You can watch it here, a two and a half minute tribute to my ten favorite kings of the bottom end:

Just a bit of explanation ... here's how these ten guys ended up on my list:

• 10: Steve Harris
  Steve was the first bass player I ever really noticed. Iron Maiden was my favorite band when I was 14, and like many other 14 year olds, I was initially drawn to my favorite band due to their gnarly lyrics and cool guitar solos. But one day I realized that Steve's galloping bass lines were a big part of the reason that Iron Maiden was so cool.



• 09: Roger Waters
  He's probably best known as the primary song-writer and lyricist in Pink Floyd, but Roger's bass playing was a big part of what made up the Pink Floyd sound. Roger's bass sound was thick, though rarely in the forefront of their music. And the more you listen to Pink Floyd, the more you find to enjoy about his playing.



• 08: John Paul Jones
  Drummer John Bonham and bass player/keyboard player John Paul Jones were (in my opinion) the best part of Led Zeppelin. I know that Robert Plant's singing and Jimmy Page's guitar work are the things that most Zeppelin fans talk about, but what keeps me coming back is the drums and bass.



• 07: Doug Wimbish
  Doug wasn't the original bass player in Living Colour, but I think he was the band's best. His work on the album Stain just blows my mind.



• 06: Robert Trujillo
  Fans of Infectious Grooves, Suicidal Tendencies and Ozzy Osbourne were well aware of Robert Trujillo's talents long before he joined Metallica. I remember thinking that he'd be my dream-pick to replace bassist Jason Newstead when Newstead left Metallica. I was thrilled when he got the job, although it remains to be seen if my hypothesis was correct. That hypothesis being that Trujillo's stellar musicianship would force the rest of Metallica to step up a notch.



• 05: Mike Gordon
  For a long time I resisted Phish's music because I find the band's fans so repellent. But I was only able to hold off for so long, thanks to the great musicians in the band. Trey Anastasio (guitar) and Page McConnell (keys) are awesome, and they usually distract me from paying attention to Mike Gordon's bass. But when I do pay attention, Gordon always impresses me. It was probably Mike's incredible groove on the song Weekapaug Groove that got me into Phish in the first place.



• 04: Allen Woody
  The late, great Woody was a big part of Gov't Mule's original sound. The band has carried on without him since he passed away in 2000, but Woody's presence is still a big part of the band. His bass lines in songs like Thorazine Shuffle and Rocking Horse are some of the first things that really hooked me and turned me into a rabid Gov't Mule fan.



• 03: Simon Gallup
  I think that Simon is the only member of the Cure (besides founder and front man Robert Smith)who's been in every incarnation of the band. But I'm not sure, to be honest. The Cure has had so many line-up changes that it's hard to keep track. During the Cure's early days, when the band was a three-piece, Simon's bass playing was a defining part of their sound. In fact, the best thing about some of those early albums (see Faith) is Gallup's bass playing.



• 02: Adam Clayton
  I can't imagine U2 without Adam Clayton's moody, melodic, haunting bass sound. Now, granted, Bono and The Edge are the keys to what makes U2 such a good band. I won't deny that. But Adam Clayton's bass playing is always outstanding. His bass parts are tasteful, understated, never showy ... but they're often the best part of any given U2 song. Can you imagine With Or Without You without Clayton's mournful rumble giving the song all of it's weight?



• 01: Vic Wooten
  Wooten is godlike. He's amazing. He can do anything with a bass guitar. ANYTHING. His regular gig is the bass player in the Flecktones, but Vic has played with a great many other bands and he's done solo-work, too. I hadn't heard of him eight or nine years ago when Wendy first mentioned him to me, and she encouraged me to check out his bass-solo take on the hymn Amazing Grace. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was when I heard it. Since then Wooten has totally won me over with his versatility and virtuosity. He can do it all; funk, rock, jazz ... Vic Wooten could make a bass guitar stand up and go outside and wash his car if he wanted to.

So there's my list. Keep in mind that it's just a list of MY favorite bass players. And I know that bass fans everywhere could look at my list and take offense. I've left off legendary players like Charles Mingus, Flea, Stanley Clarke, Les Claypool, Sting, Phil Lesh, John Entwhistle, Roger Glover, and Geddy Lee. I'm not trying to knock those guys. There's nothing wrong with any of 'em and they're all good at what they do. But the ten guys listed above; well, that's my list.

Labels: Entertainment, Gov't Mule, Metallica, Music, You Tube

• Anybody Seen Jeremiah?
  
  Barack Obama's controversial pastor has canceled the first speaking engagements that he had scheduled after the recent controversy:
  

  Wright was scheduled to speak at three services Sunday at Houston's Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church. But the Rev. Marcus Cosby, the church's pastor, said Wright decided to cancel the appearances amid safety concerns.
  
  "He canceled for largely personal reasons," Cosby said, adding that recent uproar has led to threats against Wright, his family and his church -- the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

  
  I gotta wonder if those threats against Wright came from the Obama campaign. ;)



• Huckabee Makes Some Good Points
  
  For what it's worth, I thought that Mike Huckabee's recent remarks about Pastorgate were smart, thoughtful and ... well, downright Christian:

  
  The only thing I disagree with him about is his feeling that Obama has handled the scandal as well as anyone could. Not at all. Obama's constant refrain of "I didn't know about it" is hard to believe. Barack would do well to explain to the average American how he can both be a good potential President and a member of a group that cheers phrases like "God-damn America."




• Well, Her Last Name IS Clinton.
  
  At a recent event, Chelsea Clinton was asked if she believed that her mother's credibility was damaged by the way she responded to the Monica Lewinski scandal (remember the infamous "vast right wing conspiracy" remark?) With her response, Chelsea showed herself to be a true Clinton by, a, not answering the question ... and, b, behaving as though she'd taken the moral high-ground:

  I'll go out on a limb here and guess that Chelsea has been groomed to respond that way at the mention of the name "Lewinsky" since she started campaigning for her mother. It probably never crossed her mind to consider that the question itself was neither improper nor irrelevant. In fact, I doubt she heard anything other than the L-word.




• McCain Makes The Choice Clear.
  
  While the Clintons and Obamas try to recover from their latest missteps, John McCain is out there behaving like a President. I saw his speech on Iraq today and I thought that he presented the pro-surge argument as well as anyone could have. If nothing else, we'll certainly have some clear contrast between the two parties and their candidates this November.




• "Gimme A Call When I Can Rob You."
  
  Some people just aren't cut out for crime:
  

  At about 9 a.m. Monday, Ruben Zarate, 18 years old, allegedly went to a Mufflers for Less, and held up the place at gunpoint, insisting that the employees hand over the money. He was told, however, that there was no money in the store at the moment, as the manager was the only one with access to the safe, and he was not present.
  
  Furious, the thief reportedly left his cellphone number to the employees, and demanded that they contact him when the safe could be opened.

  
  Zarate came back and was greeted by the police, who ended up shooting him in the leg when he wouldn't drop his gun. He's currently in a hospital awaiting arraignment, recovering from his injury and saying "Doh!"




• Shut Up, Axl.
  
  Axl Rose has stated that the long delayed "new" Guns N' Roses album, Chinese Democracy, is finished and will be released this year. In case you don't know, Chinese Democracy has become synonymous with washed-up rock-star posturing. The album has been delayed for so long now that I don't think anyone believes that the album actually exists.
  
  The good folks at Dr. Pepper certainly don't believe it. They've challanged Axl to put up or shut up by promising to give a free can of Dr. Pepper to everyone in America (except for certain former G N' R members) if the album actually shows up in stores this year.
  
  I'll go one better than that: If an album named Chinese Democracy, credited to the band Guns N' Roses, is released this year, I will personally go to China, overthrow the communist government and establish democracy. I'll use my sword and magic helmet.

Labels: Media, Music, News, Politics, You Tube

I took the online Asshole Rating Test and apparently I'm not a total asshole:

Of course, I could be deluding myself. Find out if you're deluding yourself, too, by taking the test.

---

I'd really like to include links so I could credit the sources of the rest of these, but I can't. You know how it goes; you see a funny image, right click and save, and then you can't remember where you found it.

Anyway...

A sex change we can believe in.

---

I just happened to stumble across this picture of Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz and man he's looking rough these days. I thought that was Bruce Vilanch at first.

---

Sometimes what nature does with snow is waaaaayyy cooler than anything we could do with it ourselves. Take one propane grill, add snow, let some of it melt and hey-presto! Storm Trooper Skull Thing!

---

"What you are trying to do worked. Do you want to try again or give up?" Must be a Windows Vista thing.

---

NO, wait, THIS is DEFINITELY a Vista message. If something worked right, there MUST have been an error.

---

Beware the Argentine Gnome!

Labels: Humor, Junk Dump, Microsoft, Music, Politics, Trivial Matters, You Tube

• What's Up With Hillary Clinton's apology extravaganza?
  
  Hillary Clinton isn't known for apologizing for anything ... so I suppose that her current whirlwind apology tour is a sign of just how desperate she is to hold on to whatever chance she might have of being the Democratic Party's nominee in November. Hilary has apologized for remarks made by Geraldine Ferraro and then apologized for remarks her husband made in South Carolina. She'd do well to apologize for her husband's hideously irresponsible eight years in the White House, but I don't see that happening.
  
  Look, I'm no fan of Hillary Clinton. I've made that clear. But the more I learn about Barack Obama, the more I realize that I was foolish to think of him as a slightly better choice than Hillary. I guess here's where I stand on the two of them now: We're going to have to deal with Obama as a presidential contender at some point. There's no getting around it. The guy has a huge fanbase among the many, many people who don't really understand anything, and it's probably enough to get him elected. So I hope he goes ahead and gets the nomination and effectively ends the Clinton-era of national politics forever. I hope he doesn't win the Presidency, but I really think he's going to be President eventually, so maybe the sooner we get his term in office over with, the better.



• What's up with the upcoming Metallica album?
  
  The band has been pushing the release of this album further and further back, and now it's tentatively scheduled for release in September. Metallica doesn't have a title for the album yet. I call it Chinese Democracy 2 because I'm starting to doubt that it actually exists. And I'm kinda dreading it's release. I can't wait to hear it, I'll get it the day it comes out, and I'm sure I'll be totally disappointed in it for one reason or another. I've said before that for the past few years I've come to feel like Metallica's battered wife. They mistreat me, they never live up to their promises, but I stick with them because they used to be soooooo good to me! If you could only see what they're like when nobody else is around! Really, they're not who you think they are. Besides, we've been in therapy.



• What's up with Eliot Spitzer's call-girl?
  
  Hey, not for nothing, but the girl really isn't all that hot. And I wouldn't make mention of it, except that in her role as a call-girl I'd say that her looks were entirely relevant. It's not that she was ugly, it's just that she kinda reminds me of a poor man's Daisy Fuentes. And that can't have been worth it. If I'm the Governor of New York and I'm gonna risk losing everything and spend ... what was it? $5,000? On one night with a call-girl? Come on. She's gonna look a whole hell of a lot like Rhianna or Katharine McPhee and not a little bit like some washed-up former VJ from the '80's. (Preferably Rhianna ... 'cause ... damn.) This is gonna have to be a memory that'll last a life-time for my five-large. You know what I'm sayin'?



• What's up with the fruity-looking new five-dollar bill?
  
  OK, call me old-fashioned. Call me a troglodyte. (Please ... I like being called names.) Call me a curmudgeon .... but I like my five-dollar bills the way they were when I was a kid. Ugly. Green and wrinkled and marked with that simple, thumb-sized picture of Abe Lincoln's ugly mug.
  
  Ever since the government started messing with the money ten or twelve years ago I've had this vague feeling that we're all walking around with wallets full of pretend currency. And the newest version of the five dollar bill is the worst offender yet. It has purple on it. PURPLE! What is that all about? Can we please go back to real money and come up with a better way to discourage counterfeiting? Like maybe the weekly televised beating of counterfeiters. I personally would volunteer to beat a counterfeiter with a rake for ten minutes every week. Or maybe we just catch them and force them to wear purple.
  
  You know, if we all did our parts, we could probably get the government to go back to printing real money. Call or write to your congressman now and say "Yes! I'll beat a counterfeiter with a rake!" Tell them Darrell at SouthCon sent you.



• What's up with Edward Norton and Marvel?
  
  The promotion of ... and possibly the release of ... the upcoming Incredible Hulk movie is being pushed back because of Edward Norton feuding with Marvel over the final cut of the movie. Partly, I blame Marvel. Norton has had a reputation as a real S.O.B. for years ... and as the old Indian story goes, they knew he was a snake when they picked him up. (I'm assuming that Somebody at Marvel had final approval of the cast.) Either way, Norton is a brilliant actor when he gets it right, but Keeping The Faith indicated that, behind the camera, he ain't no Stanley Kubrick. My two cents: Norton needs to shut up and back out. He's done his job, now let those who handle the movie from here do their jobs.



• What's up with black political figures throwing the n-word around?
  
  Two recent instances, one right after the other, really jarred me. One instance involved Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who's being investigated for corruption and lying under oath. Now, to fend off the charges against him, Mayor Kilpatrick has dropped the N-Bomb and started talking about lynch mobs:
  

  
  Woah! Hey, hold on there a minute, pal! Who's been launching racist attacks on your family? Should't those people be prosecuted for making threats and/or for harassment? And what's that got to do with the charges against you, Mayor Kilpatrick?
  
  And then, right on the heels of that, there's this from Barack Obama's minister:
  

  Hey, wait, woah, WHAT?
  
  If I started listing things that are wrong with that I'd have to write for another three hours. And that's only the beginning of Rev. Jeremiah Wright's recent wacky remarks. And, make no mistake, this guy is an official member of Obama's campaign.
  
  Let me specifically mention the use of the n-word by these guys. Can we just stop with that? Please? For ages and ages that word was used by arrogant, ignorant white people as a way to keep black people down. Now we're having instances of certain black guys throwing that word up as a way to shut up scaredy-cat whites, to avoid the real issues, and to cancel all debate. What good does that do? Who benefits from that? Can we please grow the f*&# up, maybe? It's 2008, fer Pete's sake. When white-on-black racism is the actual topic, let's deal with it. But let's not use it as a way to avoid dealing with anything else. Not for nothin', but too many good, honest black people have really been victimized by racists for their struggles to be trivialized as a political bargaining chip.




• What's up with Spitball Politics?
  
  Well, I'll tell ya what's up with it. Spitball Politics is a new political blog that features the writing of (among others) Scott, the Spiritual Tramp in my blogroll. Stop by, check 'em out, leave a comment or two.

Labels: Entertainment, Media, Metallica, Movies, Music, News, Politics, Trivial Matters, You Tube

Mosh it up, Rover.

Labels: Dogs, Humor, Music, Trivial Matters, You Tube

• Hey, that was my idea! A new website is using Google's translation service to send phrases through the translation wringer with often funny results.



• TV dinners are quick and easy, but they don't offer much variety. That is, except for my favorite new combo, sesame chicken, pasta and a huge steel clamp.



• I'm the first to admit that I often just don't understand the trends in the world of fashion ... for instance, John Galliano's new design, which seems to say "ARRRGH, Matey! All this rum has literally made my liver EXPLODE!"



• Threatfire promotes itself as an enhancement for your anti-virus software that improves and extends its protection. Might be worth investigating.



• A new study suggests that husbands who help with the housework end up having more sex. Apparently, though, you still have to have that sex with your same-old wife.
  
  I kid! I'm kidding! I kid because I love. Ha ha!



• Something tells me it can't be legal and won't last long, but if you've got a fast connection and some time to kill, Red Curtain Movies has a ton of movies on demand, ready to watch and all free.



• Go to the ZipSkinny website, plug in any zip code, and get cool census factoids about the area. I learned today, for instance, that the little town we live in is 100% white. Which explains why it's so damn boring around here.



• Microsoft has debuted Internet Explorer 8.0. I plan to download it, install it, and continue using Firefox.



• RIP, Jeff Healey. The late Canadian guitarist was probably best known in the US for his late '80's hit "Angel Eyes."



• From time to time, any one of us might have one of those days when ya wake up and say "Man, I'd rather get shot than go to work today." Then there's Daniel Kuch of Pasco, Washington, who REALLY hates his job.



• God bless this newborn baby girl in Ahmedabad, India. She survived a birth which was probably as traumatic as birth can be.

That's all for now. Have a great weekend.

Labels: Links, Music, News

Nine Inch Nails has finished a new album, an all-instrumental effort called Ghosts: I-IV, and the band is giving some of the music away for free over the internet.

You can download the first quarter of the album for free at the NIN homepage, and if you like it, you can buy the whole thing for just five bucks.

According to Trent Reznor, the musician who basically is Nine Inch Nails, this album is a direct result of his having finished his last recording contract. From Billboard.com:

"I've been considering and wanting to make this kind of record for years, but by its very nature it wouldn't have made sense until this point," says Reznor, who collaborated on the music with Alan Moulder, Atticus Ross, Alessandro Cortini, Adrian Belew and Brian Viglione. "This collection of music is the result of working from a very visual perspective -- dressing imagined locations and scenarios with sound and texture; a soundtrack for daydreams. I'm very pleased with the result and the ability to present it directly to you without interference."

Demand for the free/cheap music has been tremendous, causing the NIN webservers to crawl to a halt as fans download the project. Reznor says he's trying to get more servers up to meet the demand ... meanwhile, if you check around, you'll find other places to download the free content.
I'm downloading the free tracks now and look forward to giving them a listen.

In my opinion, Reznor has done some brilliant work in the past. The NIN album The Fragile is easily the creative high-watermark of the industrial rock era. Almost ten years later, The Fragile holds up as a highly entertaining and compelling listening experience. However, more recent NIN efforts have been fair to lackluster, with last year's Year Zero ultimately turning out to be a real disappointment.

I'm glad to have a chance to hear a sizable chunk of NIN's new material before I commit a dime of my own money to it.

Labels: Entertainment, Music, News

I intended to do an Oscars post today, even though I'm generally ambivalent about that whole dog-and-pony show. I thought I'd write something this year, though, because I actually saw a number of the nominated films this year ... and because I thought that the big Oscar-sweeping movie this year really was the best movie I saw in 2007.

But it ain't gonna happen (the post I'd planned) and I'll tell you why:

For one thing, I decided for some reason or another to sit here tonight at the computer and listen to Bruce Springsteen ... and it seems that the Springsteen songs that I enjoy most (like this one and this one, by far my two favorites) all come off like suicide notes if you actually pay attention to the lyrics ... which I don't recommend because it'll really throw a wet blanket on your good friggin' mood.

And for another thing, we bit the bullet and got a new computer and it runs Windows Vista, which is clearly an operating system that was created by crack-addicted, satan-worshiping monkeys. Rather than write a whole blog post about how much I hate Vista, I'll just cut and paste from the haphazard e-mail I sent to the Governor and Jamie earlier today:

I just want to say, totally off topic, that WINDOWS VISTA SUCKS. That calls for all caps, too. We got a new PC yesterday and I've spent the past twenty four hours trying to use Windows Vista and it is the worst OS I've ever used. Windows ME was better. This damn thing locks up every couple of minutes. This compuer came with three gigs of memory and it's like I'm trying to run Doom 3 on an old 32 mghz system. Plus, for some damn reason, It will only allow file names that are fewer than a certain number of characters. This TOTALLY f--ks up my MP3 file naming system. I really despise Vista after one day of use and I'm thinking about going to get a copy of XP and installing it on this thing. This PC has three gighz of memory and a 320 gig hard drive, it would absolutely HUM with XP. Vista seems to be far more trouble than all it's pretty little bells and whistles are worth.

Thank you, Bruce and Bill Gates, for screwing up my evening. Clearly I'm the victim of some sort of Redmond-via-Asbury Park conspiracy.

So I guess what I'm trying to say, as I do this time every year, is screw the Oscars.

Labels: Entertainment, Microsoft, Music, News, Personal

Rather than actually writing anything today, I'll just encourage you to check out The John Butler Trio and their super-catchy song, Zebra.

I'm still trying to figure out where and why and how my taste in music took a radical turn a few months ago and ended up in Hippyville. Oh, well. Jam on, brother. Jam on.

Labels: Music, You Tube

Rock and roll just doesn't get better than this:

The Dave Matthews Band, featuring the great Warren Haynes, on Neil Young's classic Cortez The Killer.

Wow. Damn. Wow. I heard this recording some months ago and I'm glad to find that a YouTube video exists. Listen to Warren's soloing and you'll see why I call him my favorite rock guitarist. Listen especially to the solo that begins around the 6:10 mark. Warren wordlessly conveys more about pain, rage, regret and hope with that solo than all the poetry in the world.

Wow.

Labels: Gov't Mule, Music, You Tube

I like Amy Winehouse, believe it or not. And I now realize that she's a genius on the same level as Bob Dylan:

Found 'em both at Rolling Stone.

Labels: Entertainment, Humor, Music, You Tube

Spinner.com has an interesting list of the twenty-five most monumental flops in music history. Flops of all kinds are always interesting if only because of what they say about our culture in general ... and what we end up liking or disliking or just flat-out hating.

Just a few observations about some of what's on the list:

I never can get used to the idea, generally accepted by everyone, that U2's album Pop is a flop. I think that there are several good songs on there, and that some of them are very good. Flop? Maybe commercially, but it's not a bad record.

Green Day's Warning was actually the last album that they did that I thought was any good at all. Not that it was that good.

Should the Kevin Federline album really be on this list? I think it lived up to everyone's commercial and artistic expectations. Who really expected this thing to do well? I mean, other than Federline and Britney?

Wendy really likes Altered Beast, Matthew Sweet's supposed flop.

I didn't know the Knack even did more than one album.

I'd forgotten that Paul's Botique flopped at first. At least with regard to album sales. It is a good album, though.

Why does Robbie Williams keep flopping? His stuff is at least as good as the stuff that actually gets played on top 40 radio.

Paris Hilton's album. Ha ha!

In my opinion, the album ranked at number two on this list should really be number one. It's shocking that a singer who had never had a commercial misstep did something this phenomenally stupid.

How can Otis's favorite album not be included on this list? It was a GIGANTIC flop! You can buy it at Amazon for a penny, fahcryinoutloud!

Labels: Entertainment, Links, Music

It's a common observation among heavy metal (and rock) fans: "Hey, that song sounds just like that other song!" Sometimes this observation leads to arguments about who is or isn't guilty of stealing riffs, especially if it's particularly accurate.

A YouTube user called BakNBlack has put together a number of clips that feature back-to-back comparisons of a number of songs. Some of his observations are surprising, especially if I was previously familiar with both songs but never noticed the similarities. BakNBlack says he isn't accusing anyone of ripping off anyone else, he's just making note of the similarities in the good natured, fun spirit of rock and roll.

Here's his most recent clip:

He has quite a few more if you enjoyed that.

Hat Tip: The Governor.

Labels: Entertainment, Humor, Music, You Tube

About two months ago I was exposed to the music of Gov't Mule and I absolutely flipped. I couldn't remember the last time I heard a band that good. As a matter of fact, the last time I went this completely head-over-heels for a new band was back in '85, the first time I heard Metallica.

Gov't Mule isn't a new band, but they were new to me when I heard them in August. This really is the best band I've ever heard, and they're basically the only band I've listened to since late August (much to the frustration of my wife and friends, who wonder when I'll stop listening to the Mule exclusively.) Shortly after I got interested in the band I checked their tour agenda for autumn and I was thrilled to find out that they were coming to Richmond, easily within driving distance. Wendy agreed to go see them with me, tickets were bought, and I spent all of September and the first half of October basically unable to think about anything else.

Wendy and I arrived at Toad's Place about an hour before the 7:00 PM door time. The line was pretty packed by 6:30, and an enthusiastic crowd was inside to greet opening act Grace Potter and the Nocturnals at 8:00. The openers played for an hour, and I can report that Grace Potter and the Nocturnals are a real-life, honest-to-goodness band. Real musicians, real songs, good old-fashioned rock and roll. I wish I were more enthusiastic about them, since they're making the kind of music that I think needs to be supported. And I do think that Grace Potter is going to hit the big-time pretty soon. But the truth is, I was in Richmond to see Gov't Mule and sitting through Grace Potter's set was, for me, just a slightly more interesting way to kill an hour than staring at the floor.

Gov't Mule came on at 9:30 and played until somewhere around 12:50. Ah, man, what an amazing show. The first set was like a dream for me ... if the band had let me chose the songs for the first set, I couldn't have customized a better one.

And let me just say that Warren Haynes is a god. The founder of Gov't Mule (and also full-time member of the Allman Brothers Band) is just about the best musician I've ever seen play live. He's a damn good songwriter, a great singer, and an absolutely amazing guitarist. You just can't do any better than Warren Haynes.

Here's the setlist for the night, and I can't wait to buy this show at Muletracks.

Set 1:
Slackjaw Jezebel
Larger Than Life
Don't Step On The Grass Sam (Steppenwolf Cover)
Rocking Horse
Lay Your Burden Down
Mr. High & Mighty
Red House (Hendrix Cover)
Bad Little Doggie
How Many More Years (Howlin' Wolf Cover, with Higher Ground tease)

Set 2:
A Million Miles From Yesterday
Thorazine Shuffle
When Doves Cry (Prince Cover)->
Beautifully Broken->
When Doves Cry->
Beautifully Broken
Pygmy Twylyte (Zappa Cover)->
Trouble Every Day (Zappa Cover)->
Drums
Child Of The Earth
Three String George
32/20 Blues (Robert Johnson Cover)

Encore:
Long Distance Call (Muddy Waters Cover)

You can check out pictures from the show at Gov't Mule's "On The Road" page. And here are a few crappy pics I took with my cellphone.

I'm happy to say that Wendy loved the show, too, and I think she finally gets my obsession with Gov't Mule. In fact, the word Wendy used to describe the first set was "amazing." I couldn't agree more.

If you haven't heard Gov't Mule, here are a few songs you can stream from my site if you'd like to check them out:

And if you get the chance to see them live, don't miss it. I think it's safe to say at this point that Gov't Mule has become my favorite band over the past couple of months, and seeing them this past Sunday only confirmed for me that they really are the best band I've ever heard.

Labels: Gov't Mule, Music

I haven't had a lot of time to blog for a few days ... more importantly, I haven't had time to read (and comment at) the blogs I enjoy, so my apologies to those I've neglected.

I've been working some trades so that I can have Sunday off so that Wendy and I can go to Richmond to see the amazing Gov't Mule in concert. I'm sure I'll write a concert review after the show, raving about how great they were. Here's just a little sample of what I look forward to enjoying on Sunday:

Labels: Blogs, Gov't Mule, Music, Personal, You Tube

Does anybody else remember a criminally underrated rock band from the '90's called Mindfunk? No? I didn't think so.

Just a brief bit of history: Mindfunk was made up of former members of Celtic Frost, M.O.D. and Soundgarden. Their first album, released by Sony/Epic, isn't all that great. It's not much more than basic hair metal; slick production, simple riffs, etc.

Their second album, however, is really something special. Dropped, so named because Sony/Epic dropped the band after their first album flopped, is an outstanding slab of stoner rock. Imagine a band as funky as the Chili Peppers and as doomy as Black Sabbath. That's what the second album delivers. When I finally do my long-pondered awesome albums that nobody has ever heard post, Mindfunk's Dropped will be featured prominently.

A total of two people bought Dropped, me and my buddy Jamie, and the band once again lost their record deal.

Their third album, which wasn't even released in the US, is called The People Who Fell From The Sky. I've looked for it off and on for ages, and finally had the brilliant idea (thanks, Wendy) to check Half.com. There is a copy there for ten bucks. I might just finally get it.

Just wanted to throw this out there. Mindfunk is a darn good band that fell between the cracks and, unfortunately, there's hardly even any mention of them on the internet. I wanted to add my voice to that small, dedicated din.

A few Mindfunk resources:

• Sample their music at this MySpace page.



• The closest thing there is to an official Mindfunk website is here.



• Their Wikipedia page spells their name as two words, for some reason. On my copy of Dropped and everywhere else I've seen, it's one word.



• Here's their entry at the Metal Archives.



• Here are a few stats.

Labels: Music

Joe Henry's voice isn't instantly accessible, make no mistake about that. But he's a heck of a songwriter. His song King's Highway tells a story that might even be too bleak for Johnny Cash to have recorded. This song gave me chills when I actually listened to the story. Gov't Mule does a great cover version, but this video features Henry performing it himself:

For those of you who're curious, but don't want to watch the music video, the lyrics to King's Highway are:

I might just change my mind
Sometimes you can never tell
Where a story will unwind
Or how deep is a shallow well

Sometimes you would never guess
Who's all talk and who just might
Find a way or lose themselves
On the King's Highway tonight

I am just like many more
Who lie in bed still and numb
Waking up and I can see
Just how dark it has become

Who knows no better angels now
Who knows none but an earthly light
Who's waiting for a stranger
On the King's Highway tonight

Wasn't how I had it planned
When it finally came around
I took a man with my own hands
But I held him close when he went down

He hadn't time to be afraid
His look was only of surprise
Staring up from where he laid
On the King's Highway tonight

I took the little that he had
Only as an afterthought
He wouldn't have to feel so bad
To think I killed him just because

He was passing through this town
Only 'cause he looked about right
He stopped when I flagged him down
On the King's Highway tonight

I might just change my mind
Sometimes you can never tell

Labels: Gov't Mule, Johnny Cash, Music, You Tube

Now that Fred Thompson is officially in the 2008 Presidential race, the big question on everyone's mind is, of course, what's his campaign theme song going to be?

I think we were all underwhelmed in June when Hillary Clinton announced that her official campaign theme song was going to be You And I by Celine Dion … a song that I don't think I've ever even heard. Which is surprising, since Celine's had about a thousand hits and I thought I'd heard most of them.

A search for campaign theme songs at Google brings up very little, and most of what does come up involves Hillary and that Celine song, anyway. So considering that most of the people running for POTUS in '08 don't seem that concerned about their theme music, I thought I'd make a few suggestions.

• Barack Obama
  There's really only one possible campaign song for Barack, and that's John Lennon's Imagine. What could be better than a secular hymn in praise of socialism for a guy who wants the government to have complete control of the economy, health care, speech, thought, and respiration. Besides, Obama and the song itself have a lot in common: both are extremely overrated, both are terribly trendy, and neither one make much sense when you actually pay close attention.



• Mitt Romney
  I'm thinking Pink Floyd Redux for the Governor from New England. Something like Shine On You Crazy Mormon.
  
  (OK, that was a cheap shot, and I should feel bad about it, and I probably will tomorrow, and I do like Mitt, but as of this second my philosophy is that I never turn down a cheap shot and I'm not going to start now.)



• Hillary Clinton
  There are a bunch of better choices for Hillary than some anonymous Celine pop ditty. The headbanger in me wants to suggest Am I Evil, a song originally recorded by Diamond Head and made popular by Metallica. Of course, the Eagles have a few titles that would work for Hillary, such as Lyin' Eyes and Witchy Woman. Then there's always Elton John's The Bitch Is Back. But if you ask me, the best of all possible theme songs for Hillary is Rid Of Me by P.J. Harvey:
  

  Tie yourself to me.
  No one else.
  No, you're not rid of me.
  You're not rid of me.
  
  Yeah you're not rid of me.
  I'll make you lick my injuries.
  I'm gonna twist your head off, see?
  Till you say don't you wish you never, ever met her?
  Don't you, don't you wish you never, ever met her?




• Rudy Giuliani
  Rudy's unofficial campaign slogan at this point is "Vote for me anyway." Now, I admit, I liked Rudy a lot when I thought of him as a good man trying to clean up a cesspool of a city … but as a presidential candidate he's become an expert at rationalizing, justifying, apologizing and backtracking. For his campaign song I'd suggest a mash-up; a medley of The Indigo Girls' Shame On You and Bryan Adams's Please Forgive Me. However, to really fit the tenor of the campaign, the song will have to play on an endless loop.



• John Edwards
  Of course, there's only one song that will work: ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man:
  

  Top coat, top hat,
  I dont worry 'cause my wallets fat.
  Black shades, white gloves,
  Lookin' sharp and lookin' for love.
  They come runnin' just as fast as they can
  'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.




• John McCain
  The more McCain talks, the more I'm inclined to think that Run-DMC's Papa Crazy would be ideal for him. But then, given that he's been one of DC's most powerful men for a while now, maybe Black Flag's Gimme Gimme Gimme would work better:
  

  Gimme gimme gimme.
  I need some more.
  Gimme gimme gimme.
  Don't ask what for.
  
  Sitting here like a loaded gun
  Waiting to go off.
  I've got nothing to do
  But shoot my mouth off.

  
  
  Ultimately, though, I think that the Imperial March from Star Wars would be the perfect campaign song for McCain … if only because I've gotten to the point where I hear it playing in my head every time I see McCain:
  




• Al Gore
  As hard as it is to take seriously, there is still talk in some corners about Al Gore running for President in '08. I guess he's the Democrat version of Nixon. I can't understand Gore's continued popularity among the moonbats, but I think I can explain it. That's why I'd suggest that Al's campaign theme song should be I Put A Spell On You, the original version by Screamin' Jay Hawkins. I'd also suggest that Gore change his name to "Screamin' Al Gore."



• Fred Thompson
  A number of songs could serve Fred's campaign well. Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down is an obvious choice. The titles of Anthrax's I'm The Man and 2Pac's All Eyes On Me sum up Thompson's popularity and his image as the candidate to beat. But another song comes to mind for this Alabama-born former Senator from Tennessee. It's a song that expresses pride in the south specifically, but in America in general … and, more than that, it expresses a general willingness to cut through the BS. That seems to fit Thompson well, from what I've seen. So for Thompson's campaign I'd suggest as a theme song A Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams, Jr.:
  

Labels: Music, Politics, Thompson 08, You Tube

In October, Wendy and I are going to see Gov't Mule at a club in Richmond. Gov't Mule is the first rock band I've heard in something like 15 years that I've actually liked enough to plan to see live. My last rock concert was Nine Inch Nails in Winston-Salem, NC, in November, '94. Since then I've only seen one nationally touring act (Lyle Lovett, an adult-contemporary/folk/jazz/country performer).

In the 80's and early '90's I saw a buttload of bands in concert … mostly hair metal bands since it was, after all, the 80's and early '90's and I was a teenager and hair metal was my thing.

I figured that since this blog is the closest thing I'll ever have to a diary I'd go ahead and post a brief "concert diary" while I can still remember the bands I've seen live. The following is a list of the bands I can remember having seen in concert, along with a brief memory or two about the acts.

AC/DC
One of the best bands I've ever seen live. I saw them in '88, I think. AC/DC is always reliable as a fun, energetic, good-time rock band. I was thrilled with how much of their older material they performed. I remember being giddy with glee when they played the opening riff of "Whole Lotta Rosie."

Aerosmith
I saw Aerosmith around '92. The most memorable thing about this show was that it was the only concert I ever attended with a girl with whom I was on a first date. It was kind of a distraction. Aerosmith was OK, I guess.

The Allman Brothers Band
The Allmans put on a great show when I saw them in the early '90's. Interestingly, their lead singer and guitar player at the time was Warren Haynes, the singer and guitar player who impresses me so much in Gov't Mule. So although I don't remember him, I'm 99% sure that I've already seen this remarkable musician play live.

Tori Amos
I saw Tori on tour in support of her Little Earthquakes album. She didn't have a band, just her and her piano. It was a really great show. She's an outstanding entertainer.

B.T.O.
I saw the "Taking Care Of Business" band in the late '80's. I remember someone threw a full "Big Gulp" size cup of soda and ice and hit Randy Bachman in the chest. Uncool. He brushed it off and kept playing. Very cool.

Clint Black
A popular country artist from the early '90's, Clint put on a decent show. His opening act was Lorrie Morgan. Anybody remember her?

Bon Jovi
The main thing I remember about Bon Jovi is that they are one of only two rock bands I ever saw live who didn't curse or use any vulgarities at all during their performance. Even in my teenage years that impressed me. It made them seem confident in their music.

Garth Brooks
I gotta say, Garth went out of his way to entertain his audience, and judging from the way my girlfriend at the time reacted, Garth did a good job. I wasn't much of a fan, but I don't remember having a terrible time at this show.

Cinderella
The main thing I remember about Cinderella was that they were a tall band. The average member was probably 6'. Maybe 6'3" with hair, 6'5" with hair and heels.

The Cult
This band produced one of the best and most underrated, underheard rock albums of the '80's. When I saw them their drummer was Matt Sorum, who went on to later fame drumming for Guns N' Roses. The Cult was a good live band, playing crowd-pleasing, competent, note-for-note reproductions of their live tracks.

Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
Remains the only hip hop band I've ever seen in concert. They were pretty good, I enjoyed their set. The cool thing about Disposable was that they played live music rather than just rapping over prerecorded tracks. Their guitarist was Charlie Hunter, who has since made quite a name for himself in the world of jazz.

Gibb Droll
I'm including Gibb here even though he's a bit of a regional artist and most of you have probably never heard him, except maybe through his work with Keller Williams or as a performer at The Gathering Of The Vibes. Gibb is an electric guitar player in the Jimi Hendrix/Stevie Ray Vaughn tradition, and he's really very good. He does a lot of session work now and occasionally produces a solo album, but back in the day he used to tour as the guitarist and singer in a three-piece band. I saw Gibb and his band play, damn, I don't even know how many times. I never saw a bad show. This guy is a great entertainer, a damn good songwriter and musician, and an all-around nice guy. I've been waiting for him to finally get his "big break" for more than ten years now.

Dokken
I saw Dokken in '88, I think. I have absolutely no memory of their set. You know, it's probably better if a band makes a bad impression (like Poison) than no impression at all.

Foreigner
I saw Foreigner during the height of their "I Wanna Know What Love Is" popularity, back when they had the original members of their classic line-up. They had a lot of lasers and dry ice and a big choir with them. This was the first rock band I ever saw live, I was maybe 14 or so. I was quite impressed.

Four Non Blondes
I saw them open for Aerosmith. They sucked. Their lead singer was Linda Perry, who is now a producer and songwriter responsible for a number of bad current hit records. Apparently she isn't through messing up my life yet.

Giuffria
Who the hell are Giuffria? I was asking that when I saw them live and I'm still asking that. OK, thanks to the internet, I do have a bit of interesting trivia about this band. Giuffria's lead singer was David Glen Eisley, who I remember cursing an excessive amount during their show. Even if you've never heard of him, you have probably heard him sing if you're a Spongebob Squarepants viewer. It seems that Eisley is the singing voice of Spongebob in the Band Geeks episode of the show. He sings the song "Sweet Victory" in that episode. So when I saw the little known rock band Giuffria in concert, I was entertained by the spectacular vocals of Spongebob Squarepants.

Great White
The best thing I can say about the Great White set I saw is that I survived it. After the band's irresponsible use of pyro lead to a fire a few years ago, I considered getting an "I Survived A Great White Concert" T-shirt. The second best thing I can say about the Great White show I saw was that they were the best unofficial Zeppelin cover-band I ever saw.

Merle Haggard
A true legend of country music. I enjoyed his set, although I remember that the guy had this really crazy looking glint in his eye while he was performing. Merle might be a little touched in the head.

Indigo Girls
I've seen the Indigo Girls play live twice, and both times I had a great time. One time they played a few requests from the crowd, including one song they didn't know ("Me and Bobby McGee") that they tried to work out for the first time on the spot. I've never seen another nationally touring band do that. The Indigo Girls are the best lesbian folk-rock duo I've ever seen in concert (though not the only one). In fact, the Indigos are probably one of the top fifteen lesbian folk-rock duos in the US, right up there with The Murmurs, Tegan and Sara and Tenacious D.

Kingdom Come
A Led Zeppelin wannabe band that opened a rock festival I saw in the late '80's.

Little Feat
Like the Allmans, who I saw after the death of Duane Allman, I saw Little Feat after the death of their founder and leader, Lowell George. Nonetheless, Little Feat was still made up of a number of damn good musicians, and I remember that I thought that they were very good live.

Lyle Lovett and His Large Band
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band is both the name of one of their albums and the name of Lovett's touring outfit. They're a remarkable assembly of players and singers. Wendy and I saw them three or four years ago, and they sounded great. We were both a bit disappointed, though, in Lovett's decision to play mostly brand-new material.

Marilyn Manson
Apparently, Marilyn Manson failed to shock or scare me since I saw him and his band open for Nine Inch Nails and have no memory of their performance.

Metallica
I saw Metallica three or four times in the '80's and early '90's. They really are one of the most consistently entertaining and worthwhile rock bands I've ever seen. I never saw them have an off night. They always sound good and always play for a long time. Plus, when they play live, their songs have a kind of loose groove that isn't there on the albums. They're awesome live, well worth seeing.

Motley Crue
I saw Motley Crue two or three times in the '80's. They were fun live, but extremely cheesy. For instance, one of the conventions of rock shows is that the band will come out and play for a while and then say "Thank you, good night!" They'll then go back stage and the crowd will stay in place and the house lights will stay down and the crowd will chant and the band will come back out after ten minutes and do a few more songs. It gives the impression of an "on demand" encore, but it's conventional. I've never been to a rock show where this didn't happen. Anyway, one time when I saw Motley Crue they did the "Thank you, good night!" bit and went off stage … and then a big electric sign behind the stage started flashing the word "CRUE CRUE CRUE CRUE," which, of course, prompted the crowd to chant for ten minutes. Then the band came back on stage and Vince Neal said something like "Boy, you guys must want some more, huh?" Gimme a break.

Nine Inch Nails
My ears rang for weeks after seeing NIN in '94. They were the loudest band I've ever seen and may have been violating noise ordnances when I saw them. They were also very good live. I thoroughly enjoyed their painful set.

Ozzy Osbourne
The most interesting thing about the Ozzy Osbourne show I saw was that, at the time, Ozzy was touring with Geezer Butler on bass guitar. Ozzy and Geezer were, of course, founding members of Black Sabbath. Now, at the time, guitarist Tony Iommi was the only original member still in Black Sabbath. So when I saw Ozzy, I saw more original members of Black Sabbath than I'd have seen at a Sabbath show. Also, Ozzy's guitarist on that tour and at that show was Zakk Wylde, a good musician and bandleader in his own right. Zakk's guitar playing during "Paranoid" produced the best version of that song I've ever heard.

Poison
Poison may be the worst band I ever saw live. Bad singing, bad playing, bad sound, bad showmanship, bad songwriting, bad make-up, bad costumes, bad conduct and bad hair. Other than that, fine show.

Primus
Primus had the worst sound mix of any live band I've ever seen. The music was one loud, fuzzy throb. I didn’t enjoy their set.

R.E.M.
I saw them touring in support of the album Green, on election day, 1989. This was the day that Virginia screwed up and elected the likable but incompetent Doug Wilder, which I thought was a good thing at the time. I drug my friend Jamie to this show and he had a miserable time. I had an OK time. REM's opening act was some band I've forgotten (it was the band Pylon, thanks for the reminder, Jamie), and their lead singer was visibly pregnant. She remains the only visibly pregnant singer I've ever seen open for R.E.M.

Ratt
I'm not even sure how many times I saw Ratt in the '80's. Maybe four times. They were a reliably middling-to-awful band. Their singer sucked. Their guitarists sucked. I thought they were awesome at the time, though, because I was easy to please.

Tony Rice
The best musician I've ever seen play live, and my favorite guitar player of all time. I saw him do a set with Peter Rowan, another legend in the bluegrass arena, but I hardly remember Rowan's presence. Rice is the man as far as I'm concerned. After the show Tony came out and socialized with the fans, so I got to meet him and thank him for the positive difference his music has made in my life over the years. He seemed genuinely touched by my gratitude. Tony Rice is the coolest guy in the world.

Sawyer Brown
Another of the country bands I saw in concert during my years working in country radio. You get the tickets for free, so you figure, heck, I might as well go. I have no memory of their set.

The Scorpions
I saw this band around the time of their mega-popular live album, World Wide Live. They sounded very good live. This was a band that had been touring, recording and performing for some fifteen years by the time I saw them, and they were tight and talented.

Shenandoah
Shenandoah was a popular country band in the '80's and '90's. If you weren't listening to that kind of music at that time, you don't remember them. They were, in all honesty, the best country band I ever saw in concert. (Notice I said "country," not "bluegrass." I've seen a bunch of better bluegrass players.) Anyway, Shenandoah played their hits along with a number of James Taylor and Dan Fogelberg covers and ended their show with an impressive (and utterly unexpected) cover of Led Zeppelin's "Heartbreaker." I went home happy. I think my girlfriend at the time (the Garth Brooks fan) was a bit baffled by their song selections.

Slayer
Slayer was really outstanding live. I saw them in a club in Hampton Roads, Virginia, touring in support of Seasons In The Abyss. They opened their show, if I remember correctly, with "Raining Blood," one of their heaviest songs. The played hard and fast and loud and never made a misstep. The Governor saw that show with me and has since seen them a number of times, and he has never reported a bad show. If you like loud, aggressive thrash metal, Slayer is the band to see live. And, by the way, Slayer is the only other rock band (along with Bon Jovi) that I've seen play live who never uttered a single swear word or vulgarity during their set. Instead, their singer, Tom Araya, kept saying things like "I trust that everyone is enjoying our performance this evening..."

Testament
I saw this thrash metal band open for Slayer. I remember thinking that they were good and that their singer was a huge, scary guy.

Toad the Wet Sprocket
Toad was a popular alternative rock band in the '90's and they were pretty good live. I saw them with special guests Everything, a one-hit-wonder from that time. I think I remember that Everything was pretty good, too. The main thing I remember about Everything was that they were selling t-shirts that had their logo on the front and the words "Poor. Ugly. Happy." on the back. I thought those were pretty cool shirts.

U2
On the Zoo TV tour at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh in the early '90's. Best show I have ever seen. U2 is a stellar live band, and they had all the bells and whistles, props and lights and lasers, that a stadium-size show will accommodate. Man, what a great show. They sounded great, they thoroughly entertained several thousand people, I went home exhausted and happy.

Van Halen
I saw Van Halen three or four times in the late '80's, during the Hagar era. They were a solid band live. Eddie Van Halen once threw a guitar pick right over my head; the guy behind me got it. Dammit. I also remember that during one show Hagar spotted security roughing a guy up and stopped the show mid-song and told them to stop. Very cool.

Vixen
Vixen was an all-girl metal band that was popular for six minutes in the late '80's. After they broke up, the guitarist briefly taught guitar for a living on Long Island, New York. She was the guitar teacher for a guy my wife used to date before she and I ever met. Six degrees of separation or something.

White Lion
They didn't suck.

Whitesnake
I saw them twice. They were prompt and professional, as is befitting a group of veteran British musicians. I saw them during the years when lead singer David Coverdale was still dating Tawny Kitaen. This was the '80's when she was still young and hot, as opposed to nowadays when she looks like a transvestite.

Labels: Gov't Mule, Metallica, Music, Personal

It's kind of surprising how many pop and rock songs about abortion have managed to slide in under the radar ... some of them even receiving radio play.

The best example is probably the one hit by the Ben Folds Five, "Brick". In 1998 it was almost impossible to turn on the radio without hearing this delicate piano ballad. According to Wikipedia, Ben Folds has said that he had a difficult time writing the song because the lyrics spoke so literally about the pregnancy that he and his girlfriend aborted in high school.

Of course, once they'd aborted their child, the couple's relationship was changed forever. The lyrics are frank:

"Driving home to her apartment,
For a moment we're alone.
She's alone.
And I'm alone.
And now I know it."

For whatever reason, embedding is forbidden for the YouTube music video, but if you click the still below the video will open in a separate tab or window.

---

Del Amitri's 1995 album Twisted featured an awful hit called "Roll To Me" and eleven other pop-rock songs, at least eight of which were brilliant. The best track on the album is "Driving With The Brakes On" a song that appears (to some of us, anyway) to be about the helplessness of a man who's significant other has decided to abort their child. The lyrics seem to speak volumes, including lines like

"Driving through the long night,
Trying to figure whos right and whos wrong.
Now the kid has gone.
I sit belted up tight,
She sucks on a match light, glowing bronze,
Steering on.
And I might be more of a man if I'd stopped this in its tracks
And said, 'Come on, lets go home.'
But shes got the wheel,
And Ive got nothing except what I have on."

The YouTube video is rough, it seems to have been uploaded by someone who took the time to aim her video camera at the TV screen. But, then again, if it weren't for this, I'd never even have known that there was a video for this song:

---

A thrash-metal song that condems abortion in no uncertain terms? Sure, and only the awesome Slayer would have the balls to pull it off. I'd probably heard "Silent Scream" fifty times in my life before I actually listened to the lyrics and realized that the song castigated abortion with extreme prejudice. Of course, with brutal music, shocking imagery and horrific lyrics as their bread and butter, Slayer had no reason to pull any punches when they sang about abortion:

"Silent scream,
Bury the unwanted child.
Beaten and torn,
Sacrifice the unborn...
Scattered, remnants of life,
Murder, a time to die."

---

It's a damn shame that so few people know about the awesome rock band King's X from Texas. They've been around for ages, they've turned out one solid album after another, and it seems like there are ten or twelve of us who know who they are.

If I had to put King's X in a pigeon-hole, I'd call them "Beatles-inspired hard rock," although they really defy classification. They do all kinds of music, and they do it all well. Plus, they're one of the few bands that's unashamed to explore spiritual themes in their lyrics. They're not a "Christian rock" band, they're a rock band made up of guys who happen to be into Jesus. My favorite King's X album by far is Faith Hope Love, and not just for it's reflective, spiritual lyrics. I have to admit, though, that the album's last track, an open and honest song about abortion called "Legal Kill", is a big favorite of mine for it's moving lyrics:

"I know your side so very well,
It makes no sense that I can tell.
The smell of hell is what I smell,
and you hand it out with handshakes everyday.
I have trouble with the persons with the signs,
but i feel the need to make my own...
I can feel
The fight for life is always real."

---

Janet recently mentioned the song "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe, and it brought back memories for me. This song was very popular the year my son was born, and the way it rages and laments an abortion really effects me. My son came along at a time and under circumstances that wouldn't fit any one's definition of "ideal," but from the minute I first saw him I knew I'd belong to him forever. I'm blessed that I have never had to live through the kind of post-abortion regret that "The Freshmen" admits to:

"When I was young I knew everything,
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice.
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor,
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice..."

Labels: Entertainment, Music, Personal, You Tube

Addendum below*

If you, like me, live and breathe rock and roll, then you know what it's like when you hear a new band (new to you at least) that just blows you away.

Gov't Mule has been around for a long while, but I've never been interested in them because I'd thought of them as just another "jam band." Bands like Phish, the Grateful Dead, etc. Bands that play long, boring, pointless songs and attract crowds full of smelly, dreadlocked, white college kids with more time on their hands than brains in their heads. Hippies. Oh, how I hate hippies.

Nonetheless, a friend recently suggested that I check out Gov't Mule. He said he was convinced that they were my kind of band. He loaned me a couple of albums and I thought they were pretty good, so I picked up one of their albums myself. And, oh dear Lordy is it good. I can't stop listening to it. It's amazing.

I'm trying not to use superlative phrases like "the best band I've ever heard," since that's the kind of phrase that people toss off casually when they first discover a new band, and then a month later when they've moved on to another band they've forgotten about the one they were praising just before.

Having said that, I think that Gov't Mule might just be the best band I've ever heard.

Check out the clip below and then go get yourself some Mule. From what I've heard, the studio albums are stellar and the live stuff is just plain mind-blowing.

*Addendum: You know, when I gripe about hating "hippies," I'm not really saying what I mean. The people I'm complaining about aren't really hippies. What I'm complaining about is the whole subset of irresponsible, financially comfortable, smelly, annoying white kids who follow these "jam bands" around, living off of their daddy's credit cards, buying "Che" shirts and doing drugs. What has that lifestyle got to do with the original meaning of "Hippy?"

Labels: Entertainment, Gov't Mule, Music, You Tube

I read Janet's Tell It To Me Tuesday regularly, but don't usually contribute because I just don't often feel like I have anything worth adding. Better to keep your mouth shut than to add something pointless, right?

But this week's topic happens to be a subject I know a little about: songs that invoke anger. Or, as I interpret the topic, songs to listen to when you're good and pissed off.

I've mentioned before that music therapy is the only thing that works for me when I get highly aggravated, and what I often do is listen to good anger-music to get it out of my system. Once I've heard a few tunes ... good and loud, mind you ... and maybe let out a couple of primal screams ... I tend to feel better. Here are some of the songs that help me bring the anger to a head, dissipate it, and get on with my life.

Pantera: "Regular People"

There are a ton of good Pantera songs when it comes to lettin' off some steam, including B13's outstanding choice, but the one I'd pick is "Regular People", a song about having had it up to here with somebody's BS. As heavy metal goes, Pantera was one of the best bands ever ... and their music was the kind that perfectly suited aggressive, angry lyrics. Each and every track on Pantera's amazing "Vulgar Display of Power" is a monster, and "Regular People" is one of those "critical mass" songs for me.

Sample lyric:
I’ve trampled on that road
That you think you own.
You and that ’smart ass’ attitude,
It’s time to stop the fiction.

Some YouTuber has put together a music video for the song, featuring video from some video game. I have no idea why, the video adds nothing to the music ... but you can sample the song here:

Metallica: "Wasting My Hate"

Of course, the worst thing about being good and mad at someone is that when you get mad and stay mad at some idiot, you're giving them too much of yourself. When you're mad at someone, you're giving them your time, your energy, your mind and your body. And most of the time, when you think about it, the person you're mad at isn't worth the sacrifice.

Metallica's "Load" features a song called "Wasting My Hate", and it really puts it all in a nutshell. The band's James Hetfield wrote the song after hearing a story from country and western legend Waylon Jennings: Jennings was sitting in a cafe having a cup of coffee when he noticed a guy sitting in the parking lot, in the passenger seat of a truck, giving him the evil eye. Jennings looked away, but when he looked back, the guy was still looking at him. So this time he tried to stare him down, but the guy didn't budge. The longer he sat there, the angrier Waylon got, and finally he decided to walk outside and really give it to the guy. And when he got outside and approached the truck, he realized that the guy was sound asleep, head cocked back on the seat, and actually staring at no one and nothing. "Man," Waylon is reported to have said to Hetfield, "I was just wasting my hate on that guy."

Sample lyric:
Good day, how do,
And I send a smile to you.
Don't waste, don't waste your breath,
And I won't waste my hate on you.

Again, the YouTube video features unrelated and irrelevant video, but you can hear the song here:

Johnny Cash: "San Quentin"

Johnny Cash didn't write protest songs to be trendy or to attract attention. If Johnny wrote a song in protest of something, it was because he was good and pissed off. Such was the case in 1969 when Johnny visited San Quentin State Prison in California to perform for the inmates and saw them living in conditions not fit for human beings.

According to the liner notes from Cash's legendary live album "Johnny Cash At San Quentin", Johnny wrote his classic song entitled "San Quentin" during the first hours of his visit to the penitentiary. That was the thing about Johnny Cash... when he converted to Christianity, he took the call seriously. Including Christ's call to His followers to visit and minister to those in prison. Cash believed that people who'd committed crimes should pay their due to society, but that they shouldn't be reduced to something less than human. What he saw at San Quentin appalled him. During his concert that day Cash asked for a drink of the same water that the prisoners drank and found it filthy and disgusting. Later, Johnny debuted the new song for San Quentin's inmates, stirring them to the point that he had to perform the song again, immediately, to satisfy them. Imagine that. Imagine being one of the guards or the warden in that infamous hellhole, watching as a pissed-off country rocker got your whole prison population all worked up, all at once.

Sample lyric:
San Quentin, I hate every inch of you.
You've cut me and you've scarred me through and through.
And I'll walk out a wiser weaker man;
Mister Congressman, you can't understand.

And here's a clip of that very legendary performance:

Tool: "Bottom"

The heavy progressive rock band Tool just gets better and better. Their 2001 album "Lateralus" is possibly the finest example of heavy progressive rock that's been turned out by any band ... but each of their albums is good in it's own right, and 1993's "Undertow" features a number of great songs, including "Bottom".

"Bottom" is a song about wallowing in your own spite ... and let's face it, we all do that from time to time. But "Bottom" is an honest song; a song that admits that when you're wallowing, you're doing nothing more than celebrating your own failure. Still, wallowing has it's appeal. Sometimes when you're good and mad you just want to be left alone to enjoy your anger. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you get it out of your system and move on. Have a good wallow, then get up and get on with it.

Sample lyric:
I have swallowed the poison you feed me,
And I survive on the poison you feed me.
Leaving me guilt-fed. Hatred-fed. Weakness-fed.
It makes me feel ugly.

Again, ignore the animation that some YouTuber has attached to the song and just enjoy Tool's groove:

Billy Joel: "Pressure"

Is there anything worse than some jackass who just can't wait to tell you what you should be doing when things fall apart? Not much. And we all know the type, too. We all know some blowhard who just lurks in the background, waiting to see if you're going to fall on your face, not caring what you're doing or what you're learning or how hard you're trying ... just waiting for that chance to waltz up and say "You know, if I were you..."

Billy Joel has obviously dealt with those kinds of people before, and his 1982 album "The Nylon Curtain" contains a track that sums them up to a tee. Billy even sings "Pressure" with a voice that's about to crack from anger, making it obvious that he's not singing about a hypothetical lunkhead. Some smart-ass actually inspired this song. I hope he knew that it was about him when he first heard it on the radio.

Sample lyric:
I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale.
But here you are with your faith
And your Peter Pan advice.
You have no scars on your face
And you cannot handle pressure.

And here's the classic music video from the '80's.

Labels: Blogs, Entertainment, Johnny Cash, Metallica, Music, Personal, You Tube

Indulge me.

Everybody is entitled to mope now and then, right? Maybe a little moping, on occasion, is good for you. Maybe. I mean, how do you know you're happy except by comparing your happiness to the times when you're unhappy?

I turned 38 yesterday. There is absolutely nothing special about turning 38.

Nothing.

One more year is over. Big deal.

I was feeling that way already, even before my son called to tell me that he now has a new baby sister. My ex-wife has been pregnant and "due any minute now" for the past couple of weeks. God, who's sense of humor is boundless, chose to give my son's new sister the same Birthday as me.

This basically means that I'll never have my son on my Birthday again.

By the way, my son's new sister also shares a Birthday with Mark Twain, Billy Idol, Winston Churchill … and such famous nutcases as G. Gordon Liddy, Abbie Hoffman, and Clay Aiken.

I like my ex-wife's husband and I'm genuinely happy for their family, but the main thing that I feel is jealousy of their new daughter.

I'm jealous because all of her good birthdays are ahead of her and all of mine are behind me. When you're young, every birthday is increasingly important. Each passing year represents new potential. With each year you put behind you, your abilities increase and your opportunities develop and your potential just goes through the roof.

Then, at some point between 20 and 30, personal potential reaches critical mass and it's "use it or lose it" time. If you do well, if you maximize your potential, you end up with a list of victories. If you don't, at some point you turn around and examine your life and realize that your potential is part of your past.

Then, each Birthday becomes sort of a macabre anniversary. Just one more yearly reminder that you're a little further from the cradle and a little closer to the grave. You're not yet dead, but you're no longer really alive in the ways that matter … you're just metabolizing food and oxygen and waiting for the day you stop doing that.

Yeah, I got my mope on, alright.

Of course, moping (like everything in life) is made better by music. Every element of life needs a soundtrack, even the downtimes.

When I was a teenager, with all the desire to mope in the world (but with no real reason to mope, ironically), my mope music was goth rock and metal. Bands like The Cure, Black Sabbath, Nine Inch Nails … songs like Metallica's "Fade To Black" or "Coma" by Guns N' Roses.

When you're young and congratulating yourself on how seriously you take the dim perspective of life, you can convince yourself that there's actual depth in lyrics such as these, from The Cure:

I crouch in fear and wait
I'll never feel again
If only I could remember
Anything at all

Then, you get older and have some real problems … maybe go through a real crisis or two … and you realize that Robert Smith of The Cure, whatever his legitimate charms may be, is nothing more than a fat British crybaby when it comes to lyrics.

A few of the bands I listened to in those days managed to write some meaningful lyrics … and Johnny Cash's stiring cover of the Nine Inch Nails song "Hurt" (with it's remarkable video) absolutely legitimizes the lyrics of that particular track. But, if you want real mope music, you have to look for songs with lyrics that actually deal in a real way with life's constant stream of mundane catastrophes.

With that in mind, I'm appropriately ambivalent about presenting

The SouthCon Top Ten
Mope Songs Of All Time

#10
Song: "And All That Could Have Been"
Artist: Nine Inch Nails
Album: Still

When Nine Inch Nails released their 2001 live album, initial copies came with a bonus disc called Still. The bonus disc was a set of re-recorded versions of older NIN songs, performed acoustically (or, at least, in a toned-down arrangement). Some of the songs were new, and best of all was the album's centerpiece, a desolate and cold piano and vocal piece called "And All That Could Have Been." Trent Reznor (who, basically, is Nine Inch Nails) writes songs about depression and despair quite frequently. It's rare, though, when he manages to avoid melodrama and come up with something honest and raw, a real expression of painful regret.

Sample lyrics:

I know you tried to rescue me
Didn't let anyone get in
Left with a trace of all that was
And all that could have been…

Please, take this and run far away
Far away from me
I am tainted
The two of us were never meant to be

---

#9
Song: "Don't Follow"
Artist: Alice In Chains
Album: Jar Of Flies

Layne Staley of Alice In Chains was always very open about the heroine addiction that eventually killed him, and many of the bands fans (including this one) got tired of the songs about smack. Now and then we'd hear that Layne was in rehab, that he was trying to get clean and sober. It was always to no avail. Sometimes, I suppose before a rehab stay, Staley would write honestly and openly about the mess he was making of his life with his addiction. This song is the best track on the band's 1994 EP.

Sample lyrics:

Hey, I aint never coming home
Hey, I'll just wander my own road
Hey, I cant meet you here tomorrow
Say goodbye, don't follow

---

#8
Song: "Evaporated"
Artist: Ben Folds Five
Album: Whatever And Ever Amen

This is just one perfect little album. Recorded live in the studio, Whatever… features some rollicking good piano from Ben Folds and outstanding support from his guitarist and drummer. This is the kind of album that my generation may have needed in order to realize what was so special about those first few Elton John albums in the early 70's.

Ben Folds is known for smart, funny, acerbic lyrics … and that's the kind of content that dominates the album. So it's something of a surprise that the album's closer is so stark.

Sample lyrics:

Don't you know I'm numb, man.
I cant feel a thing at all.
'Cause its all smiles and business these days
And I'm indifferent to what I've lost.

---

#7
Song: "My Curse"
Artist: Afghan Whigs
Album: Gentleman

Afghan Whigs made a name for themselves by combining soulful arrangements, jangling rock guitars, and lyrics that were often shocking and blunt. They didn't stray from that formula on their 1993 release, which ended up being the band's strongest set.

One track in particular, "My Curse," was really very confessional on the part of lyricist and singer Greg Dulli. In fact, he found the song too painful to sing. A guest female vocalist was brought in to sing the lead vocal for that track on the album, changing the perspective enough that Dulli could bear to record it.

Sample lyrics:

Hurt me, baby.
I flinch so when you do.
Your kisses scourge me.
Hyssop in your perfume.
Oh I do not fear you.
And slave I only use as a word to describe
The way I feel when I'm with you.

---

#6
Song: "Christmas Morning"
Artist: Lyle Lovett
Album: The Road To Ensenada

This was the album that Lyle released after his highly publicized break-up with his former wife, Julia Roberts. I think that we fans knew to expect some painful songs. I don't think, though, that anyone was prepared for the frank and often brutal sting that many of these songs conveyed, especially the darkest track of Lovett's career (so far).

Sample lyrics:

The girl at the grocery, she's pretty. Seems nice.
She looks right through me with eyes cold as ice.
She never answers when I ask her name.
She only says I should have a great day.
But, hey, what could she mean by that?
Perhaps I'm the fool she takes me for.
Not anything more.

---

#5
Song: "Perfect Blue Buildings"
Artist: Counting Crows
Album: August And Everything After

On paper, the album should be unlistenable. On paper, it's one depressing dirge after another, with two upbeat rock songs ("Mr. Jones" and "Rain King") sticking out like a pair of sore thumbs. If it weren't for the striking and memorable arrangements, and if it weren't for the best set of lyrics of Adam Duritz's career, this album surely wouldn't have succeeded. For my money, the best track on the album is "Perfect Blue Buildings," as honest an expression of weariness as has ever been recorded.

Sample lyrics:

Its 4:30 a.m. on a Tuesday.
It doesn't get much worse than this.
In beds
In little rooms
In buildings
In the middle of these lives which are completely meaningless.

---

#4
Song: "Dirty Day"
Artist: U2
Album: Zooropa

It does take a certain courage to write honestly about your life when things are going well. Especially if you're a rock star. Imagine the dilemma U2's Bono faced while recording the band's 1993 follow-up to the highly successful Achtung Baby. Write about the joys of being a rock-star and you might seem cocky, only a notch above David Lee Roth at best. But, if you complain about being a rock-star, you're just another Eddie Vedder-style whiner. What do you do?

Thankfully, Bono is a skilled lyricist. Yes, rich and successful people have their downtimes, too. Apparently, Bono knows something about a life lived in the shadow of an abusive father. Nobody, rich or poor, ever quite gets over that. As always, Bono expressed himself with aplomb and universal appeal.

Sample lyrics:

You're looking for explanations.
I don't even understand.
If you need someone to blame
Throw a rock in the air
You'll hit someone guilty…

Wake up. Some things you can't get around.
I'm in you. More so when they put me in the ground.

---

#3
Song: "Why"
Artist: Annie Lennox
Album: "Diva"

Did anyone really expect Annie Lennox to have such an amazing career after the Eurythmics broke up? I didn't. I really didn't give her much of a second thought, so I was amazed when I actually paid attention to her first solo album and realized that it was outstanding.

What's more, the first single from that debut album was a masterpiece of regret and candor. As the song builds, Annie's crescendo ends with heartbreaking vocals and deeply resonate message about the regret that plagues many of us in our later years.

Sample lyrics:

This is the book I never read.
These are the words I never said.
This is the path I'll never tread.
These are the dreams I dream instead…

And these are the years that we have spent.
And this is what they represent.
And this is how I feel.
Do you know how I feel?
'Cause I don't think you know how I feel.
I don't think you know what I feel.
I don't think you know what I feel.
You don't know what I feel.

---

#2
Song: "Sunday Morning Coming Down"
Artist: Johnny Cash
Album: Sunday Morning Coming Down

Part of the reason that so many of Layne Staley's (mentioned above) lyrics about addiction and substance abuse never resonated with me (with the noteworthy exception of the song listed above) was that he flatly glamorized drug use. Oh, yes, he presented his addiction as a sad and troubling thing … but he also seemed to see himself as somehow romantic and admirable; sort of a Jack Kerouac for the grunge generation. Layne Staley might have had the experience necessary to sing about addiction, but he didn't have the authority to make the songs speak to everyone.

Johnny Cash had that authority. Partly because his big, booming voice just commanded any listener's attention … but also because Cash had cleaned up and stayed clean. Unlike Staley, Johnny Cash's regret about his drug-addled past was real, lasting, and life-changing. So when Johnny Cash released a song about the hopelessness of addiction, you knew that you were hearing truth. Of all of Cash's songs from that well-remembered perspective, my favorite is the title track from his 1972 album.

Sample lyrics:

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day …

In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl that he was swinging.
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
And listened to the songs they were singing.
Then I headed down the street,
And somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringing,
And it echoed through the canyon
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short of dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning coming down.

---

#1
Song: "That Lucky Old Sun"
Artist: Ray Charles
Album: Modern Sounds In Country And Western Music

Nobody else could have gotten away with it. When Ray Charles announced to his record company that he planed to follow up a string of successful pop and soul recordings with a country and western album, people were stumped. Why? Why on earth?

Well, because Ray grew up in the American south and loved the music he'd grown up with. And, because Ray recognized something in that music that he wanted to convey to his audience. There was a pain in many of the best of those songs, and he knew and loved the people who'd felt it. He wanted to tell their stories.

Ray Charles sings this song with a genuine, emotional weight. Listen to it and it's easy to forget that he went blind as a child. I've heard nothing, nor have I ever read anything, that so clearly conveys what it's like to work a difficult and unrewarding job, feel unappreciated, and see no end in sight. Ray's eyes might have been blind, but his remarkable performance of this song makes it obvious that he had seen into the abyss.

The lyrics, in their entirety:

Up in the morning.
Out on the job.
I work like the devil for my pay.
But that lucky old sun's got nothing to do
But roll around heaven all day.

I fuss with my woman. I toil for my kids.
Sweat 'til I'm wrinkled and gray.
While that lucky old sun's got nothing to do
But roll around heaven all day.

Dear Lord above, don't you see I'm pining?
Tears all in my eyes.
Send down that cloud with a silver lining
And lift me up to Paradise.

Show me that river, take me across.
Wash all my troubles away.
Like that lucky old sun, with nothing to do
But roll around heaven all day.

---

Wow.

Ray Charles. Johnny Cash. Annie Lennox and U2 and Afghan Whigs and Alice In Chains, etc. If you'll excuse me, I have a CD to burn.

And thank you for indulging a fat ol' redneck who's had a rough week.

Labels: Johnny Cash, Music, Personal

You come across things like this at the Snopes news page:

Midnight Zamboni Run Prompts Firings
BOISE, Idaho (AP) - Two employees of the city's ice skating rink have been fired for making a midnight fast-food run in a pair of Zambonis. An anonymous tipster reported seeing the two big ice-resurfacing machines chug through a Burger King drive-through and return to the rink around 12:30 a.m. on Nov. 10. The squat, rubber-tired vehicles, which have a top speed of about 5 mph, drove 1 1/2 miles in all.

The reason I think this is worth mentioning is because I am convinced that Midnight Zamboni is the GREATEST POSSIBLE NAME for a ROCK GROUP in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

I do not know how to play an instrument, but I'm going to learn how to play one so I can form a band and name it Midnight Zamboni.

Labels: Humor, Music, News

The New Killswitch Engage album came out today. It's very good. I don't know if I'll ever like it as much as the previous two albums, but it's got some monster riffs and, as usual, Killswitch's powerful, positive lyrics. You can click here to watch Adam and Howard describe the album to hillarious effect.

Here's the very stylish video for the first single, My Curse:

If you don't know much about Killswitch, here are a few older videos, too.

I love this song, Rose Of Sharyn. The song grabbed me right off the bat with it's incredibly catchy riffs and train-wreck heaviness … and the song's subtly Christian message ("I mourn for those who never knew You") is just icing on the cake:

Unfortunately, this mix of The End Of Heartache is from one of the Resident Evil movie soundtracks. It's a "cleaned up" version, with the vocals toned down and some of the edge seems gone … but the song still rocks ... and I love the dichotomy of having such heavy music paired with lyrics like "Seek me for comfort, call me for solace..."

Here's a performance of one of the best songs on the previous album, called When Darkness Falls. This is from Killswitch Engage's live concert DVD that was released last year.

And, lastly, the first KSE song I ever heard and, consequentially, the song that got me into the band. This song features their former vocalist, Jesse Leach. I like their new singer, Howard Jones, much better. I'm in the minority of Killswitch fans in that regard. Anyway, this is My Last Serenade:

Labels: Music, You Tube

If you read this blog from time to time, you know I like my metal.


Well, I'm an old man now and I can't keep up with "the scene" the way I used to. So a lot of the time a band has been around for a while before I first hear them.

Which is why I've just heard Between The Buried And Me for the first time tonight.

This straight edge metal band is from nearby Raleigh North Carolina, and they are the future of metal. They got their name from a Counting Crows lyric, of all places. Tonight on the net I've seen them called "post hardcore," "experimental metal," "math metal," "jazzcore," "psychodelic death metal" ... nobody knows what to call them.

I just call them awesome.

Oh, my Lord, but these guys are heavy. This is my favorite new metal band.

The sad thing is, the clip below doesn't begin to cover a tenth of this band's sound. To get an idea of what I mean, check out the influences they pay tribute to on their new covers CD. That's not the album to buy, though. If you're interested in them, pick up Alaska. This is the heaviest and yet artsiest album I've heard in years ... maybe ever.

Meanwhile, here's a glimpse of them at their heaviest ... an ode to insomnia called Alaska by Between The Buried And Me:

Labels: Music, You Tube

• YouTube, We Hardly Knew Ye
  
  Remember CDNow.com? I used to go there a whole lot back in the day to sample CDs, get album info, etc. If you ever used CDNow, you remember how great it was. Then, without warning in 2002, Amazon bought CDNow. And it sucked.
  
  Most of what I know about HTML was self learned while I played with my own little Geocities site back in the day. Then Geocities was absorbed by Yahoo and all of a sudden you had to have a Yahoo ID to use Geocities and the file space went way down, etc. And that sucked, too.
  
  Now, just as I've gotten to where I use the somewhat controversial video sharing site YouTube.com a whole lot, it's been bought by Google. And, lo, we shall mourn this day the rest of our lives, and a great plague shall descend upon those who have shared their videos with YouTube.com, and there will be gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, and it shall suck.
  
  Google, after all, is the owner of Blogger… the blogging service I use to manage this site… and the blogging service I bitch about constantly because it SUCKS.



• Wow, It's Been 20 Years…
  
  … since Cliff Burton died. I remember it like it was yesterday, though. I was watching MTV one September afternoon in 1986. This was back when they still played music videos on MTV. Yes, kiddies, us old guys used to watch these things called music videos on MTV. They were like short musical movies… or, more honestly, they were like long commercials for different albums.
  
  Anyway, I was watching MTV one September afternoon in 1986 when a VJ named Alan Hunter came on to do the two-or-three-minute music news (they used to do it at ten minutes before the hour) and he said something like "The world of heavy metal lost a second stringer today with the death of Cliff Burton of the band Metallica."
  
  Metallica was my favorite band. I remember sitting in front of the TV in my parents basement that day with two weird realizations in my head at the same time: One, Cliff Burton had died. Two, I'd just heard Metallica mentioned on MTV.
  
  Metallica, you might remember, wasn't on the radar back in the day because they didn't do music videos. Hard to believe, but there was a time when they were underground and little known and meeting someone in a Metallica T-shirt was like running into another member of your very own secret society.
  
  These days, of course, Metallica T-shirts are as commonplace, meaningless and unremarkable as Led Zeppelin T-shirts. Or Snoopy T-shirts. Or Budweiser T-shirts, for that matter.
  
  James Hetfield reminisced a little about Cliff on the 20th anniversary of his death:
  
  

  "We never would have written guitar harmonies or instrumentals or songs with very intricate melodies and orchestrations without Cliff. We wouldn't be where we are today."

  
  
  20 years. Damn. Seems like yesterday. RIP, Cliff.
  

  




• Freedom Of Speech … Just Watch What You Say
  
  Liberals, of course, are aaaallll about freedom of speech. Unless they don't like your opinion. Then, they are all about silencing you, drowning you out and preventing others from hearing what you have to say.
  
  Freedom of speech, to the average liberal, only applies to other liberals. Nowhere is this more obvious than in the ivory tower of academia, where diversity of every kind is encouraged. Well, every kind but one: diversity of ideas is to be stopped, squashed and eliminated at all costs according to the academic liberal ethos.
  
  Recently, Jim Gilchrist of the controversial Minutemen Project was asked to speak at Columbia University in New York. A number of young liberals at Columbia disagree with Gilchrist's positions on immigration, so they did what liberals do best: they attacked. Literally, physically, violently attacked:
  

  
  Tell me again, left-wingers, how we redneck gun-owning Christian red-staters are such closed minded, bigoted, hateful bullies. More video and some smart observations from Michelle Malkin are up at Hot Air.




• Blog Checks
  
  
  • A website I mentioned by e-mail to MCF made this week's P Links. So did this great CEO coloring book.
  
  
  • I also got luv from the 13th edition of Links N' Junk at Rey's A Point. More importantly, Rey posted a link to a great free media conversion site.
  
  
  • The Unseen Blogger is literally disappearing. Check out the fourth thing he learned over the weekend.



• Déjà Vu, Al Over Again
  
  Another Weird Al interview… the first half of this one, with Paul McCartney, is screamingly funny.
  

  
  If you're as easily entertained as I am, check out his sit-down with Madonna.

Labels: Media, Metallica, Music, News, Politics, You Tube

• Religion Of Peace? Right.
  
  Apparently, if you're going to say anything about Muslims or Islam other than "Praise Allah!", it darn well better be something nice. The Holy Father made a few historically correct and spiritually insightful remarks last week…
  
  

  Citing historic Christian commentary on holy war and forced conversion, the 79-year-old pontiff quoted from a 14th-century Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Paleologos.
  
  "The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war," the pope said. "He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.' "
  
  Clearly aware of the sensitivity of the issue, Benedict added, "I quote," twice before pronouncing the phrases on Islam and described them as "brusque," while neither explicitly agreeing with nor repudiating them.
  
  "The emperor goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable," Benedict said.
  
  "Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul," the pope said, issuing an open invitation to dialogue among cultures.

  
  
  …and now every turban-and-burqua wearing wackjob in the world has gone all to hell over it:
  
  

  

  
  
  And a number of bloggers are going out of their way to show support for the Pontiff:
  
  

  

  
  
  Of course, since this involves that "religion of peace" known as Islam, waving signs isn't enough for a great many of the wackos:
  
  

  An Iraqi militant group led by al Qaeda vowed a war against the "worshippers of the cross" in response to a recent speech by Pope Benedict on Islam that sparked anger across the Muslim world.
  
  "We tell the worshipper of the cross (the Pope) that you and the West will be defeated, as is the case in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya," said an Internet statement by the Mujahideen Shura Council, an umbrella group led by Iraq's branch of al Qaeda.
  "We shall break the cross and spill the wine. ... God will (help) Muslims to conquer Rome. ... God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the mujahideen," said the statement.

  
  
  Tell me again, Mr. President, how Islam is "is a peaceful religion, a religion that respects others."
  
  Can you believe that Dubya actually said that? Look, the guy has a ranch. He oughta know BS when he sees it.
  
  Religion of peace, my ass.
  
  Islamabad threw some fuel on the fire:
  
  

  Pakistan's parliament on Friday unanimously adopted a resolution condemning Pope Benedict XVI for making what it called "derogatory" comments about Islam, and seeking an apology from him for hurting the sentiments of Muslims...
  
  "Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence," Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam said.

  
  
  Yep... Islam is a very tolerant religion... and the Muslims will wage war against you if you say different!
  
  What's more, you make 'em mad enough, they'll kill nuns:
  
  

  Gunmen killed an Italian nun at a children's hospital in Mogadishu on Sunday in an attack that drew immediate speculation of links to Muslim anger over the Pope's recent remarks on Islam...
  
  "I was in class when I heard about six to eight shots, I ran out and saw sister bleeding," Fatuma Hassan, 21, told Reuters.
  
  "We're so sad. It's a big loss."

  
  
  Just chalk it up to a lesson learned. And, if the past five years have been any indication, a lesson that will be forgotten in about fifteen minutes.
  

  

  
  
  And, besides, "radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam." If you don't believe me, just ask that tub of co-host, Rosie O'Donnell:
  




• Emanuel! Christ Among Us! NOT!
  
  Rey linked to this video this weekend. Apparently, everything you've ever been taught by any Christian church you've ever attended has been wrong. How can I say that? Well, because the lord himself has come back… and he dresses like a Columbian coke cartel general.

  
  There are people who follow this guy? Come on, nobody would really buy into an obviously fake religion just because it's glitzy and glamorous and explains away human failures very easily… would they?




• Another Reason To Mourn Steve Irwin
  
  According to the National Review, the Crocodile Hunter didn't just have a big heart and a big image… he had a brain, too. The National Review reports that Irwin was not…
  
  

  …the sort of leftist-environmentalist nag that infests this zone of human activity. To the contrary, he was a political conservative, and a strong supporter of Australia’s robustly sensible premier John Howard, whom he once described, to some derision from the Australian media, as “the greatest leader in the entire world.”

  
  
  RIP, Steve. We hardly knew you.



• Those Mean Old Metallica Fans
  
  Apparently, Metallica's failed producer for about fifteen years, Bob Rock, has a bone to pick with a number of the band's fans. It seems that some of us have hurt Bob's feelings… or at least, according to Bob, we've confused his children:
  
  

  A behind-the-scenes look at that tumultuous (St. Anger) project was featured in the… unflinching documentary "Metallica: Some Kind of Monster." A petition that some 1,500 fans signed subsequently was posted online calling for Metallica to dump Rock, claiming he had too much influence on the band's sound.
  
  "The criticism was hurtful for my kids, who read it and don't understand the circumstances," Rock says. "Sometimes, even with a great coach, a team keeps losing. You have to get new blood in there."

  
  
  And sometimes a lame producer causes a well-written album to sound like crap. Either way, Rock is out of the picture and an amazingly talented producer is on board. Metallica fans have reason to anticipate the next album.

Labels: Blogs, Links, Metallica, Music, News, Politics, You Tube

It's hard to believe that there have now been sixteen McFATs… but there have, and here are my answers to Number Sixteen.

1) What's your worst and/or funniest drinking experience? If you never drink, it can be about someone you know, and if you don't know anyone, move on to the next question.

Disclaimer: I can't remember the last time I had more than two beers at a time. It's usually just one at a time. Wendy and I usually make a six-pack last for more than a week between us, and we might buy a total of four six-packs in a year. I'm totally paranoid about drinking much at all, even in the comfort of my own home, for fear that some child will get up and manage to fall down the steps and knock a hole in his or her head and then it's up to me to get them to the hospital. So I hardly drink at all, I never drink anything other than beer (actually ales and stouts) and when I do, it's very, very little.

There was, however, a time when I drank far too much and behaved very irresponsibly while drinking. I no longer do that, having put that lifestyle behind me more than ten years ago… and having spent a period of my life going to AA meetings in order to make sure that the last nail was in the coffin of that part of my life.

And so I want to make it clear that I do not endorse drinking to excess, I do not endorse driving or behaving irresponsibly while drinking, and I do not endorse basically everything I ever did before my son was born.

OK?

Now, having said all that, I suppose the funniest thing that ever happened to me while drinking would be the time that another blogger who frequents this blog… a guy I used to work with back in my radio days… well, he and I worked at a radio station together and we decided to basically change the station's format and broadcast times while we were drunk on the air one night.

Drinking while on the air was fairly commonplace back during my irresponsible radio youth. Anyway, me and this other guy (a blogger in my blogroll who I won't identify… if he wants to do so in the comments, that's up to him) used to work at a small-time local radio station. It was really small time. Not even a 24-hour-a-day broadcast station. We signed on every morning at 5:00 AM… played country music and gospel music all day… and then signed off at midnight. Yep, it was one of those little AM/FM stations that you might dial in while traveling through the south just to get a kick out of a little slice of Americana.

Anyway, me and this other DJ used to get fairly good and drunk fairly frequently during the evening shift… and one night when it came time to sign off for the evening we decided that, dang it, we weren't gonna do it. We decided that instead we'd stay on the air and play the kind of music that we enjoyed… stuff like Metallica and the Michael Schenker Group and the Grateful Dead and NWA and James Taylor and… oh, you name it. If we liked it, we'd just throw it on the air. And between songs we'd go on the air and tell ribald stories about our co-workers and stuff like that.

So about an hour into this illegal, immoral and unintelligible broadcast, our station manager called us and demanded to know why we were still on the air. Turns out that he'd been out clubbing and got in his car and turned on the radio, which just happened to be tuned to our frequency… and before he could get a cassette tape in the tape deck he noticed that we were still broadcasting and that we were playing some sort of highly vulgar material.

Anyway, the station manager calls us and demands to know why we're still on the air and one of us… I can't remember if it was me or the other DJ… told the manager that he needed to shut up, go home and go to bed.

The next day the other DJ and I were called in to the station around 10 AM or so and we were curtly and unceremoniously fired and sent packing.

However, by one or two that afternoon when it became obvious that there was nobody to work my afternoon shift and the other DJ's evening shift, we were called and asked if we'd like to have our jobs back. So we said sure, what the hell, we didn't have anything else to do and since we were just gonna sit around and drink and listen to music anyway, we might as well get paid to do it.

There are a bunch of other stories that I could tell that begin with the line "This one time when we were drunk on the air…" but I think I've incriminated myself enough.

2) Inspired by some of the insect images I've seen lately at B13's and Unspace, what are some of your more horrific encounters with the insect world?

Have you ever seen a House Centipede? These aren't regular run-of-the-mill centipedes… these things are hideous. Monstrous. They look like some sort of joint project created by Todd McFarlane and Satan. Every time I see one I shriek like a ten year old girl and run outside waving my arms around, crying for help. I'm TERRIFIED of these things. I'd honestly rather go up against a bear, armed only with a Bic pen, then have to face down a house centipede. We get them from time to time in the fall. It's getting close to the time of year when they'll be coming out. I live in fear of them at this time of year. If you want to see one, you can click here… but I'm warning you, they're hideous.

3) How would your life differ if you woke up one morning with no arms?

I guess the main difference is that I wouldn't have ANY #@&N$!"!NG ARMS… but other than that, I guess the change would be nominal.

Speaking of arms and radio… I was once reprimanded by a program director for saying on the air that I'd give my right arm to be as good a drummer as that guy in Def Leppard.

4) Born in the mid 1970s, a lot of the classic rock I've heard used as jingles for beer, trucks, and other appropriate products was my first exposure to those songs. Do you think some of these songs were ruined by becoming advertising elements? What songs from your formative years could you see being sampled for commercials some day, and for what sort of products?

I LOVE the Iggy Pop song Lust For Life, and I HATE hearing it in car commercials. I also remember hearing The Faces' I Know I'm Losing You in a commercial for something or other and being bummed out by that. I really love that song, too.

I am surprised, I must admit, that I haven't yet heard Iron Maiden or Judas Priest in commercials for Honda and Nike. Our generation made those bands huge, and our generation is a prime marketing demographic, so it's only a matter of time until those bands are turning up in commercials. In fact, I have a vague memory of having heard You've Got Another Thing Coming in a commercial… but I can't remember the product and it might be that my mind is playing tricks on me.

Now that I'm one of many old fat men driving around in a minivan and listening to Metallica, it's only a matter of time before we hear Metallica songs in commercials. I suppose Duracell will co-op Battery just to be funny. Maybe Verizon will use For Whom The Bell Tolls.

And, of course, customizing the lyrics to match the product will continue as a marketing trend. I can't wait to hear a Dominos commercial featuring Dave Mustane wailing Pizza Sells… But Who's Buying? Maybe Slayer will sing the praises of a Tupperware Ensemble.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: I started blogging on October 13th, 2004. Last year some of you may recall my Best Blog Party Party, guest posts, year in review, and revealing photos. What sort of things should I do for this year's Cloakfest?

It's time to go ahead and do that nude photo-spread you've been promising us for so long now. Nothing raunchy, mind you… I'm talking about tasteful photos… but something bold and liberating. It might be nice to pose with a live tiger, if you can get access to one. The one article of clothing that I'd say you definitely should wear is a tweed fedora… and maybe a huge gold chain. Just you, the lid and the chain, the tiger and an expression of sassy bravado. It'll be the most popular Photo Blog Wednesday ever.

Labels: Blogs, Metallica, Music, Personal, Trivial Matters

Oh, yeah… a week ago, the Unseen Blogger tagged me with a book meme, and I committed to completing it.

Along the way I noticed that MCF had done the meme, but he'd changed it to an 80's animation theme instead of books since he vaguely remembered having done the book variation in the past. Then Otis got in on the action, doing the cartoon version as well.

Then I remembered that MCF definitely had done a version of this meme before, and that he'd tagged me with it, too. So, since I'd already done this kind of thing once before, I decided to change it up myself. Instead of books and instead of cartoons, my version is about albums:

1. One book album that changed your life:

I'm going with Tony Rice's amazing Cold on the Shoulder. Before I heard this album, I was just like every other uppity dipstick when it came to bluegrass music. I thought I knew what it was all about, I thought it was all about these kinds of people, and I looked down my nose at bluegrass in general. Then I heard Rice. There was no getting around the fact that the guy was a remarkable musician. I don't think I appreciated his absolute mastery of song, though, until I heard Cold on the Shoulder. There were moments (the best example is the track "Wayfaring Stranger") when I sat in wide-eyed disbelief at the inexpressible beauty of what I was hearing. I've been an unabashed and enthusiastic bluegrass fan ever since. And, here's the thing about bluegrass fans: Often when two of us are together and hear someone else mocking bluegrass, you might notice a sly exchange of glances. It's an exchange that says "Remember when we were ignorant a-holes, too?"

2. One book album that you have read more than once listened to a zillion times:

My favorite album, Pearl Jam's Ten. I absolutely love this album. I can't be objective about it. It's just my album. It was the perfect album, released at the perfect time, with each perfect song written and recorded perfectly. I have so many associations and memories with this album. I can remember specific times in my life when it was the background music… specific instances when one song or another from this album was on the radio. I can play each solo on the album in perfect, synchronous air-guitar. I know and can sing along with each of Vedder's grunts, moans and fricatives. And this is an album, not a collection of songs. In case you had any doubt, the band opened and closed it with a brief instrumental bookend piece. It is meant to be heard as a whole, and I hear it as a whole quite frequently, even all these years later. Oh, if only Pearl Jam had ever done even one other album that was half this good. If only they'd concentrated on the music and less on the politically ostentatious posturing. If only, if only….

3. One book album you'd want on a desert island:

Yes, Ten is my favorite album… by my favorite band is and will likely always be Metallica. Yes, I'm aware that Metallica sold out, Metallica sucks, Metallica are a bunch of irrelevant old men, Metallica are yadda, yadda, yadda. Just shut your yappin' pie hole, OK? I don't want to hear it and I don't care. Metallica is my favorite band. The thing is, It's like I'm Metallica's battered wife. I keep taking them back because they used to be so good to me. They still love me… I just know they do, and they'll show it again one day! So in spite of pointless sets of cover songs and blatant instances of hubris and otherwise wonderfully written and played albums that were ruined by an incompetent producers, I keep going back. If I had to pick a single Metallica album to take on a desert island… a place where time stands still, where no one leaves and no one will…it would have to be Master of Puppets. I'll just never get tired of it. It's their high-water mark, they're standard by which I judge every subsequent effort, and an album I could listen to any day of the week. The band created that album by following their instincts, not a trend… and it will go against the grain until the end.

And if you can name the two songs from the album that I quoted in that paragraph (WITHOUT Googling the lyrics), you get ten bonus SouthCon points.

4. One book album that made you laugh:

When The Darkness released their album Failure To Launch, I got what they were doing. I didn't enjoy it, but I got it. They were trying to be heavy and be funny at the same time. Some music critics thought it was impossible and that the band could only be seen as a joke, but I knew better. I knew better because of SOD's outstanding, hilarious Speak English Or Die. This 30 minute blast of thrash metal from 1985 was simultaneously heavy-as-anything and also extremely funny. Even in 1985, SOD recognized the political correcting of rock and roll that was taking place (Rock Against Drugs, anyone?) and they were having no part of it. Speak English Or Die is a thrash metal classic with enough riffs and monster leads to satisfy any metal fan… but with lyrics that literally caused my buddy John and I to have to pull over to the side of the road the first time we listened to the album because we were laughing so hard. Songs like The Ballad Of Jimi Hendrix and Chromatic Death and the blistering title track were so much fun. In much the same way as This Is Spinal Tap from the year before, Speak English Or Die both mocked and celebrated everything that is big and dumb and loud and stupid and wonderful about heavy metal. It remains a cherished favorite of mine to this day.

5. One book album that made you cry:

When Layne Staley of Alice In Chains died, my immediate reaction was cynical disgust. I'd been a fan of the band for years, but I'd also heard all the stories about Layne's frequent overdoses and rehab stints. I wasn't surprised to hear that he'd finally OD's and died. "Stupid junkie," I thought. "If he couldn’t clean up and quit taking the drug that he knew was killing him, why should I give a damn? Just one more dead junkie, right? If somebody is bound and determined to kill themselves with drugs or drink or alcohol, then so be it. Screw 'em. Let 'em die."

A year or so after Layne died, I happened to be listening to an old favorite of mine, the Alice In Chains EP Jar Of Flies. It may be that for the first time I actually paid attention to the lyrics on that particular day… or it may just be that I was just a little more sensitive and a little less cynical than usual for some reason. Anyway, the hopelessness and utter sadness of the lyrics hit me for the first time. Songs I'd always liked, such as Don't Follow and I Stay Away… and, most especially, No Excuses… hit me like a ton of bricks. The honesty, the desperation and the pitiable pleas in those songs overcame me. I found myself actually choked up and wiping away a few tears for Layne and for everyone who was ever swallowed whole by an addiction. There but for the grace of God go I.

6. One book album you wish would have been written recorded:

A live album by The Sleestacks would have been awesome.

7. One book album you wish had never been written recorded:

There is one artist… one and only one, about whom I can say the following: I absolutely can not stand a single song she's ever recorded. I hate, loathe, and despise every one of her songs… at least every one of her songs that I've heard. I make a great effort to hear as few of her songs as possible. And so I can say, for certain and without qualification, that I wish every single album and/or song ever recorded by Shania Twain had never been recorded.


8. One book album you are currently reading rediscovering:

I don't suppose I'll ever get tired of Johnny Cash at San Quentin, maybe my favorite live album of all time. Everyone knows and refers to the Folsom album.. and, granted, Folsom really is a masterpiece… but I can't help but prefer San Quentin. This is one album that has so many layers and so much rich texture that I don't think I'll ever hear all of it, appreciate it entirely, or really fully get it's significance. The music itself, of course, is outstanding. Everyone knows A Boy Named Sue, of course… and, yes, it is indicative of the rest of the album. However, it's only a scratch of the surface. There is so much on the San Quentin album. There's an energy… an urgency… about this recording. It might come from the prison crowd, obviously thrilled about the rare occasion of a night designed to entertain them. It might come from Cash himself, only a year or two into his own sobriety and his marriage to the great love of his life, June Carter. It's probably a combination of the two. Songs like "I Don't Know Where I'm Bound" and "Starkville City Jail" make the rapport between Johnny and his audience palpable. The centerpiece of the show, two back to back performances of the protest song San Quentin, literally make my spine tingle… and the closing gospel set of songs wraps it up with an honestly hopeful finale. God bless the record execs at Sony who decided to finally make the entire recording available in 2000. This is a once-in-a-lifetime set, and I get something more out of it each time I hear it.

9. One book album you have been meaning to read listen to:

At Christmas in 2003 I gave Wendy Brand New's album Deja Entendu, and, shockingly, we both enjoyed it very much. It's rare that we both enjoy an album. I can only think of five or six examples. Anyway, both of us liked Deja Entendu and, somewhere along the line, one or the other of us acquired Brand New's previous album Your Favorite Weapon. I remember listening to it once or twice and thinking that it was really good, really solid, and that I'd probably end up enjoying it quite a bit if I'd just keep listening to it. You know how it goes, though. Sometimes an album just falls through the cracks. Now and then I remember that Your Favorite Weapon is among our music collection and I'll feel guilty about not listening to it more than I have. I'm sure that I'll really enjoy that darn CD… if I only give it the chance to win me over!

10. Tag some others:

My usual standby: If you read this and you're inspired to write something similar, consider yourself tagged.

Labels: Blogs, Johnny Cash, Memes, Metallica, Music

As I've covered ad nauseum here, I'm a Catholic Convert in the mostly Baptist South. That makes me an oddball.


I’m also an unapologetic heavy metal fan in the culturally conservative South, which doesn't make me an oddball particularly… there are quite a few other heavy metal fans 'round these parts.


The thing is, I'm as socially and politically conservative as any good ol' Southern Red Stater. What separates me from most of my cultural contemporaries is, for the most part, the minor issue of musical preference.

I like heavy metal. Most of my peers like current country music. I absolutely loathe country music.

Well, I loathe what passes for country music these days. The crap that they play on country music radio. They can tell me that it's country music all they want, but I know the difference. I grew up listening to Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn and Merle Haggard. I know the difference between real country music and the Shania Twain / Rascal Flats / Toby Keith garbage that is marketed as country music these days.

Here's why I'm on this rant today: Now and then, one of my cultural contemporaries will let me know… either subtly or overtly… that he or she doesn't approve of my taste in music. Nine times out of ten, what happens is this: some rabid fan of modern so-called "country music" will make it clear that, in their opinion, if I were a real conservative, a real Christian, a real whatever, I wouldn't listen to Metallica and AC/DC and Black Sabbath.

My response is always to insist… usually futily… that most heavy metal is harmless and that the really irresponsible and dangerous lyrics are the ones in modern country music. I honestly believe that. When it comes to lyrics, metal is silly, fun, harmless music for the most part. The lyrics of modern country music, on the other hand, are an awful influence on impressionable young people.

That's my thesis… and that's what the following experiment is designed to prove.

So here's the setup… I'm going to post a brief summary of the lyrics to a given song… after the summary, I'll pose the question… have I summed up a metal song or a modern country song? You can click the link to find out the specific song I'm referencing.

So check out these song summaries and judge for yourself… which kind of lyrics are really the worst possible influence on young people?

Example #1: "I had my first sexual experience when I was under-age and drunk. I remember it fondly."
Country or Metal?

Example #2: "I like women who listen to Bon Jovi and get drunk and naked in public."
Country or Metal?

Example #3: "Don’t let peer pressure or material concerns prevent you from confessing belief in God."
Country or Metal?

Example #4: "If a woman is in a relationship with an abusive man, she should murder him and cover up her crime."
Country or Metal?

Example #5: "If a woman is involved in a relationship with an abusive man, she should murder him in the most grizzly way imaginable."
Country or Metal?

Example #6: "Teach your children that prostitution is a viable alternative to poverty."
Country or Metal?

Example #7: "America is a great country and worth fighting for."
Country or Metal?

Example #8: "I've met a woman who would like to build a relationship slowly, but my goal is to screw her and dump her."
Country or Metal?

Example #9: "Mortal leaders are corruptible, but their power is nothing compared to the peace of Heaven."
Country or Metal?

Example #10: "I have come to this establishment to get drunk and arrange a one night stand, and I won't leave until I've been forced to do so."
Country or Metal?

Labels: Johnny Cash, Links, Music

More of the usual… religion, rock and roll, and at least one post that's about both:

• The Superman / Jesus Connection
  
  I'm not saying that I agree with this stuff, I’m not saying that I disagree with this stuff, I'm just saying that I read this stuff and I thought it was interesting.
  
  Get Religion has collected various points of view regarding the possible Christian allegory of the Superman story. One clip from the New York Times asserts that…
  
  

  There’s always been a hint of Jesus (and Moses) to the character, from the omnipotence of his father to a costume that, with its swaths of red and blue, evokes the colors worn by the Virgin Mary in numerous Renaissance paintings. It’s a hint that proves impossible not to take…
  
  Every era gets the superhero it deserves, or at least the one filmmakers think we want. For (director Bryan) Singer that means a Superman who fights his foes in a scene that visually echoes the garden betrayal in “The Passion of the Christ” and even hangs in the air much as Jesus did on the cross. It’s hard to see what the point is beyond the usual grandiosity that comes whenever B-movie material is pumped up with ambition and money. As he proved with his first two installments of “The X-Men” franchise, Mr. Singer likes to make important pop entertainments that trumpet their seriousness as loudly as they deploy their bangs. It’s hard not to think that Superman isn’t the only one here with a savior complex.

  
  
  Not everybody buys it. From the Dallas Morning News…
  
  

  …there’s a vital difference from the message of Christianity: The caped, comic book “savior” is not sent to save people from their own evil. “He comes to help us find our potential,” (pastoral professor) Dr. (Reg) Grant said.
  
  In fact, the new movie, despite its Christ imagery, could hardly be less theological. There’s nothing of prayer or heaven. Superman offers salvation only from the perils of this world.
  
  To hammer that point, Luthor steals a quote from science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Or, though he doesn’t say so, from divinity.

  
  
  Other commentators find parallels between the new Superman movie and The Da Vinci Code. Honestly, I don't much buy any of this… but it's interesting reading.



• A Return To Musical Reverence At Mass
  
  If you attend a church where the music is reverent and traditional, I really hope you don't take it for granted. It seems like a lot of churches these days… even Catholic churches… are changing over to more "contemporary" sounding music during the worship service. According to at least one source, Pope Benedict would like to see a change. Of course, different sources report the story differently. The UPI version of the story is blunt:
  
  

  Pope Benedict XVI is calling for an end to guitars and a return to traditional choirs in the Catholic Church.
  
  The recital of mass set to guitars has grown in popularity in Italy and in Spain it has been set to flamenco music, the London Telegraph reported.
  
  "It is possible to modernize holy music," the Pope said, at a concert conducted by Domenico Bartolucci, the director of music at the Sistine Chapel. "But it should not happen outside the traditional path of Gregorian chants or sacred polyphonic choral music."

  
  
  It's no surprise that a Catholic news source reports the Pontiff's feelings with more nuance:
  
  

  Pope Benedict said, "An authentic updating of sacred music cannot take place except in the wake of the great tradition of the past, of Gregorian chant and sacred polyphony."
  
  The pope said that in music, as in art and architecture, the church promotes and supports "new expressive means without denying the past -- the history of the human spirit -- which is also the story of its dialogue with God."

  
  
  Speaking for my wife and myself, we prefer the more traditional kinds of church music… pipe organ, choir, etc. Nonetheless, each church has to do the best it can with the resources available to it. The music at the church that our family attends isn't exactly what Wendy and I would like to hear… but part of making a church work is compromise and unity. So we sing along and we don't complain about the guitars, bongos and clarinets. Nonetheless, like I said before, if the church you attend features reverent, traditional music during service, please don't take it for granted.



• Mandatory Metallica
  
  Seems like I have to always feature a Metallica update these days, right? Well, if you're like me… a Metallica fan and a fan of The Simpsons, then you'll probably be amused to know that Metallica will be lending their voices to the program in an episode to air this September. Of course, this won't be the first time Metallica has been animated, and the picture here is yet another link to my favorite Metallica-related cartoon.
  
  By the way, Lars says we should look for the next album about the middle of next year… and James reports that the album is being shaped by jam sessions and full-band collaboration… just like the last one was.



• New Alice In Chains Collection
  
  Sony reports that a 2 CD collection called The Essential Alice In Chains will be released in July. I, for one, am thrilled to hear the news. It's about time somebody put together a good collection of tracks from Alice In Chains albums. Once this comes out, fans won't have to settle for listening to the songs collected in The Greatest Hits collection and The box set and the abbreviated version of the box set and the live album. Now if only Sony would take the incentive to do a "Best Of Alice In Chains" single CD collection, I'd finally feel like I have these same thirty songs collected together in enough different versions.

Labels: Faith, Metallica, Music, News