Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Spider-Man 4 News
Not sure what to think about this ... Sam Raimi has revealed that the villain in 2011's Spider-Man 4 will be a new villain made by combining Venom and Sandman, the bad guys from the last film.
Concept art has been revealed on YouTube:
Thursday, March 26, 2009
1) When you see Kurtwood Smith, do you think ”Red Forman” or ”Clarence Boddicker”?
I'd actually forgotten that Red Forman was even in Robocop. I only ever saw That 70's Show three or four times. It never really grabbed me.
2) Do our social roles during our school years lock us in to who we will be for the rest of our lives?
Gut reaction: We're not locked into anything. But most of us carry over a lot of crap from high school, most of it negative and/or useless. That iconic image from Pink Floyd The Wall really gets it right. School is a meatgrinder.
3) Do you typically come to a full stop at a Stop Sign?
I think I actually do. I got a ticket once for not doing so and I never forgot it.
4) Which is prettier: a sunrise or a sunset?
Sunset. No idea why I feel that way, but I feel strongly about it.
5) On a recent episode of Reaper, one of the characters uses Les Nessman as a fake name. On a recent 30 Rock, a character was referred to as a ”Radar O'Reilly”. I love such pop culture nods, but as I'm getting older, I wonder: does anyone under the age of 30 get these references?
WOT R U TALKINBOUT? TXT ME L8R.
6) Does your imagination ever cause you to wince?
All the time. Ever been cheated on? 'Nuff said.
7) Is there a place in science fiction for more fantastic elements such as intervention from a higher power, celestial beings, or shared visions?
Sure, I guess. Never thought about it. Why wouldn't there be?
8) Baked or original Doritos?
Original Nacho Cheese flavor. Mmmmm.
10) Does anyone still use rotary phones?
I'm sure that somewhere, somebody's grandma has a rotary phone AND a party line.
11) Should the Poll go up to 11?
We really gotta come up with a new Spinal Tap reference. How about "You can't really dust for vomit."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Just And Observation...
...based on a very frustrating recent conversation. I'd link to it but there's no point. The owner of that blog stops by here from time to time. He can provide a link in the comments if he wants to.
I don't believe that abortion on demand is legal in this country because the majority of Americans believe that it's morally acceptable. I believe that abortion on demand remains legal for an uglier reason. I have to hang at least some of the blame on those Americans who know that abortion on demand is a moral abomination ... but they continue to champion the availability of "choice" so they can avoid taking a stand.
There's nothing more disappointing than people who flat-out know better, but lack the courage of their convictions.
And I get SO. DAMN. TIRED. of that gutless little argument that "Abortion is wrong for me, but who am I to impose my morality on others?"
Is armed robbery wrong for you? Is kidnapping wrong for you? Is rape wrong for you? Is it OK for you to impose THAT morality on others?
If the "progressive" left suddenly came out in favor of armed robbery, would you support that with your vote as well?
All rhetorical, of course.
We'd be much closer to real freedom for ALL Americans if the slipperly ones among us would grow a pair, stop caring about the opinions of elitist liberals who don't respect them anyway, and actually stand up for something.
A quote often credited to Edmund Burke sums it up: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Monday, March 16, 2009
Ya know, you really gotta be careful about where you slap those price-tags.
See more of this kind of thing at FailBlog.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Hot Naked Men
After four and a half years of blogging I'm approaching five hundred thousand hits. That's pretty cool. So thanks to those of you who visit this site, especially those of you who are kind enough to check my blog on a regular basis and leave comments.
I rarely think to check my StatCounter account; that's the free service I use to log information about my visitors and the myriad of paths they follow to get to this blog.
When I do think to check with that service I'm always particularly interested in the keywords that have led one search engine or another to point people in my direction.
Here are a few from the most recent entries in my StatCounter log:
- Hot Naked Men
No kidding, that's a search term that somehow lead someone here for a visit. To be precise, they ended up at the page linked here, which is a post about the TV show Cops and an episode I referred to as "The Naked Screaming Drunk Fat Old Man Show."
I'm almost certain that my post did not provide the kind of content that my visitor was looking for.
But now that I've used the phrase Hot Naked Men as a the title of this post (and repeated it throughout the post itself ... Hot Naked Men! Hot Naked Men!) I suppose I can expect more visits from certain kinds of people looking for love in all the wrong places.
- Signs Of The Coming Zombie Apocalypse
Some Googler searched for that phrase and ended up here at SouthCon reading a post with almost that exact phrase for a title.
I can only hope that I was able to somehow adequately help someone prepare for wave after wave of the walking dead.
Because, you know, it's just a matter of time.
- Christine Chubbuck
I get these hits every day. My post about the death of Christine Chubbuck is easily the most popular thing I've ever written.
For a while my post was one of relatively few internet sources of information about Christine Chubbuck. Then the E! cable channel did a feature and now there are a number of sites about her.
E! actually contacted me when they were working on their piece to see if I could provide them with any more information. I couldn't, I'd drawn the facts in my own piece from public sources. But I did point the producer at E! toward the same sources I'd used, and it was apparent to me that they'd been useful in the feature that the cable channel turned out.
- Maddog 20/20
SouthCon is also a source for info on cheap wine.
Those are just a few of the search terms that really stuck out. I can't help but wonder what might be on the rest of the list; the older data that StatCounter doesn't provide.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
BlackFive Sums It Up
Does Jimbo at BlackFive speak for all of us? Maybe not. But he damn sure speaks for me:
Language warning: Jimbo uses the appropriate terms to discuss President Daffy Duck's shit sandwich.
You know, I've avoided debt all my life. I've never lived beyond my means. If I can't afford it, I don't need it. A life dangling from a credit card is no life at all.
My mama taught me that. I've tried to teach it to my kids.
Thank you, you titanic f---heads in congress, for trying your best to undo all those lessons. We've got a word for you Rent-A-Center low-lifes down around these parts: White Trash. I don't give a damn what your race, color or creed is. Every one of you who voted for this bill is plain ol' White Trash, pure and simple. May each and every one of you rot in hell.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Can this really be the twenty-fifth round? I guess so. Wow.
1) Where were you when America's new president was sworn into office? I know not everyone voted for the guy(I didn't), but it's hard not to notice the historical significance, and as much as I was dealing with in my personal life this past week, I definitely saw the effects of the inauguration on those around me, and I'm sure we all have interesting stories to share.
I was at work. I made a half-hearted attempt to watch some streaming video of the event over the net but couldn't get anything to load. Apparently, for the first time (to my knowledge), the company's servers were overloaded. I guess everyone at work tried to watch the inauguration over the internet.
Sorry, that's not much of an interesting story, is it? Maybe I should embellish it just a bit:
I was scrounging for money to buy heroin with writer/actor/producer Mike Meyers when Obama was sworn in. We're behind those two dumpsters in that lot across from Freddie's place. Mike, he's trying to listen to the inauguration on an old transistor radio he found someplace, but the antenna is missing and we keep picking up the PA system and the walkie-talkies down at the railroad. "Checking 5," some railroad dick keeps yelling, "checking 5," like we know what the hell that means. Mike keeps banging the radio against the side of the dumpster and cursing between fits of scratching himself like crazy and wiping his nose. Me, I'm not so bad off as Mike, I'd got fixed up the day before. Mike's been jonesing for three days. Freddie had cut him off, something about how Mike owes him money from lost options on a Love Guru sequel that's clearly not going to happen now. Not with everything shook up at Paramount. Every few minutes Mike tells me how Freddie is a "no-count shitf++k" and he tells me how he's gonna kill him. "Shhh," I say, "the new president is talking." But it's just that guy from the railroad again. "Checking 5," he says, "checking 5."
2) Who is your favorite legacy hero and why?
I really don't have one. I guess I'll say the second Night Owl, but really only because Watchmen is so great and it's currently in the forefront of my mind ... and everyone else's.
3) What was your best concert experience?
I've written everything I can think of about my concert experiences previously at this blog. If I had to pick one specific concert, I suppose it would be U2 on the Zoo TV Tour at Three Rivers Statium in Pittsburgh. That was the spring of '92, I think. Three Rivers doesn't exist anymore, of course, so that's part of what makes that show so memorable.
Other stand-out concerts would include Slayer at Betsy's Boathouse in Norfolk (early 90's, I think), AC/DC at the Roanoke Civic Center (probably late 80's), Tori Amos, solo, with just a piano at a tiny hall at UVA (early 90's again) and Metallica, who have always been really outstanding every time I've seen them.
4) You're piloting a plane when geese fly into your engine; what do you do?
Well, I'd try to do exactly what that heroic pilot did. I'd try to sit down ever-so-gently in the Hudson River. That might be especially difficult if I'd taken off from, say, an airport in Sicily ... but I'd point the nose in the general direction of the Hudson and I'd try everything I could to get there.
SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: Can you name all the GoBots in the following questionable clip?
Holy crap, dude. Why don't they have names already? Why didn't the creator of the Go-Bots name them? Damn. OK, if it's up to me to name them, I'm gonna call them Carrie, Marlon, Mo, Steve, LaRue, Jerry Lee, Eggplant, Rufus, Dummy, Star, The Glob, and Leeroy Jenkins.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
For the next four days or so I'm gonna be busier than a one-armed cat in a room full of paper hangers. Or words to that effect. I don't expect to have much time to blog, but we'll see. I've got some overtime I'll probably have to work, etc. So that's all for now, talk to you later.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
2008: The Year At SouthCon
A look back at the year as it closes ... each of the thumbnail pictures below is clickable. Click one and it'll take you to the relevant post.
This is 2008 as I followed it at the blog. The political, the cultural, the personal and the trivial. Mostly the trivial.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
2008: Death, Disease, Uncertanty ... The Ususal Fun Stuff
I used to write about faith at this blog fairly frequently. I haven't in a long time. A year or so, I suppose.
My religious beliefs have been in flux for a long time. For as long as I can remember, really. I was raised Southern Baptist, and my religious upbringing wasn't a positive experience for me. During my mid 20's I was a militant agnostic: "I don't know and you don't, either." By my early 30's I became nominally pro-religion; I began to think that religion did more good than bad for most people, and although I maintained that it wasn't for me, I generally saw it as a force for good.
Then I got divorced and 9/11 happened and I panicked. For whatever reason I decided that it was important that I nail down exactly where I stood on religion. I started reading the Bible and C.S. Lewis and something clicked. I've gone from content agnostic to enthusiastic Catholic convert in the last few years, and at every stage along the way I've always been very happy to force my beliefs on the people around me.
Never in a positive way, though. My approach, my foundation, has always been "You're wrong! Here's why!"
I think that maybe the only thing I've ever really believed in is the blunt force of my own opinion.
I began to realize over the past year that my religious convictions were a house of cards. 2008 has been an awful year. It began with the culmination of some serious marital problems. Just as it began to look like my marriage might survive, a good friend of mine died out of the blue. Well, what happened was, first my friend's daughter committed suicide, and then about a month later he had a heart attack and died. I was still trying to sort that out when I was diagnosed with cancer in June. I've had three tumor resections since then and I'm going to have another next month.
And, yes, I might be endulging myself with more self-pity than these circumstances really warrant.
The worst of all of this was what happened with my friend. I haven't written about it here for two reasons. One reason is that I didn't want to trivialize the loss of my friend's daughter and his subsequent death by writing about it at a blog that's primarily dedicated to YouTube videos and fart jokes. The main reason that I haven't written about it, though, is that thinking about it hurts so godamn much that I just try to avoid thinking about it at all.
My friend's daughter died and there was absolutely nothing inside of me that enabled me to offer him any comfort. Don't misread what I wrote: I didn't complain that I couldn't comfort him. I was totally incapable of even trying to comfort him. This was a guy I loved and I was totally incapable of making a gesture beyond "I'm sorry for your loss." It ate at me, it kept me up at night, but I only came up empty handed. The truth of the matter was that, deep down, I simply believed that my friend's daughter was gone. Just gone.
And then one morning he was gone, too. And I think the main thing I feel about that is anger.
All of this stuff happened and I realized that there was nothing (absolutely NOTHING) built into the foundation of my faith that prepared me to handle it. I began to think that the reason I'd been drawn to the Catholic Church was really just that I line up very well with the Church's politics. I already believe what the Church teaches with regard to abortion, the death penalty, charity, etc. It was a good match.
But as far as the "spiritual core" of my beliefs, I'm as uncertain and as lost as I've ever been. I do know, though, that I've never had a transcendent experience. Not once. And I don't even want one. I don't want cause to doubt my own sanity any more than I already do. I still have this deep need to figure out where I'm coming from, to figure out what I believe and why, but I just have no idea where to go from here.
Here's the truth of my beliefs. These are the things that I believe deep down, and I don't know how to change them, or if I should change them, or what to do about them. I believe in God. I don't know why he'd feel anything but contempt or maybe pity for humanity, but I do believe in a God of some sort. I believe in altruism and love and kindness, I believe, in fact, that those are the only things that make life worth living. I don't believe in any sort of afterlife. I think that death is the end, that death is final, and that it's always a hair's breath away. I think life is fragile and mostly futile, and that it's still a wonderful, wonderful thing. The most important thing in the entire world to me is my son ... and I believe that all of the immortality that there is going to be for me will be in whatever good I'm able to pass along to him. If I'm able to be a good enough father for him to be able to look back in fifty years and say "I guess the old man wasn't a total shithead," then I think I'll have done well. I'll have been a better father than I ever had, anyway.
Those are the things I believe deep down and I don't know why I believe them, other than those seem like natural conclusions to me. I don't know what to do with those beliefs or how to reconcile them with the Church, with Christianity, with faith or with the world in general. Oh, and get this: I still believe that the Roman Catholic church is the best thing out there. Talk about being conflicted.
I know that one or two of my Christian friends are going to read this and be tempted to send me e-mails to try to reason with me. I appreciate it, but it won't really help. Trust me, I've been trying like hell to reason with myself for the past year.
If you want something poetic or philosophical, this is the best I can offer: I can't explain why or exactly what it is about it, but there's something essential about the things I believe in the lyrics to the Black Crowes song A Thorn In My Pride. That's the best I can offer, and it's typical of me. When in doubt, I come back to rock and roll.
I'm writing all of this because Scott at Spiritual Tramp posted this video that I saw today and it moved me to tears:
Generally, I've come to realize in the past year that the best thing I can do is keep all of this to myself. I made a couple of attempts to discuss these feelings with friends at one point earlier this year and I only managed to offend them. That is the one thing I'm good at. Even when I'm not trying (and I usually am trying), I can offend people like nobody's business. It comes naturally to me, I guess.
But the things Penn Jillette had to say hit me like a wrecking ball. I felt like I had to write something. If you've read this, thank you for indulging me.
Man, I really hope 2009 is a fairly innocuous year.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Last Post Before The Holidays
Gonna be busy for the next few days. I'll talk to you after Christmas. Meanwhile:
- I will never, ever, ever, ever, EVER blog again after taking prescription drugs that impair my judgment.
I'm not taking anything that I'm not supposed to take ... but some of the drugs I have to take occasionally do make me goofy. Really goofy. They makes me say silly things and laugh at silly things ... and type silly things. And the next morning I look at what I barely remember posting the night before and I spend about ten seconds trying to figure out what I was talking about and then I hit the delete post button as quickly as possible.
Some writers have been lucid, creative and interesting while under the influence of controlled substances. Good for them. Chuck Palahniuk I am not.
- The Weather Channel is biased:
I do take issue with the assertion that the Weather Channel uses "smooth jazz" to distract their viewers. I've heard Phish on the Weather Channel and they're a jam band.
But, come to think of it, it did distract me.
- Some people are all to hell about Obama's choice of Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. The political gays (homosexual and heterosexual alike) are writhing in conniption fits about it. The moonbats at The Daily Kos (in this instance, the chief moonbat) compare Warren to Fred Phelps and David Duke.
Remember, disagreeing with political gays regarding the definition of "marriage" is the same thing as hate. If you don't see things their way, you are a HATEMONGER!
Look, I'm no Rick Warren fan. I think the guy is a hack and a snake-oil salesman. but compared to some of the "ministers" that Obama has associated with in the past, this guy is a huge step in the right direction. Warren is, at least, capable of a modicum of self-control.
(Sidebar rant begins here)
And before any Warrenites take issue with my assessment of their "purpose driven" clergyman ... yes, I have read Rick Warren. I bought The Purpose Driven Life after a protestant minister told me that I should read it, that it would change my life. He was right, it did change my life. It made me fifteen bucks poorer.
So I'm entitled to my opinion that Rick Warren is a profit driven schmuck who peddles feel-good Wal-Mart "theology" to people who don't really want to think all that hard about religion.
You really want to read about Christianity? Read a Bible. The actual words of Christ are in there. And this Paul guy had some interesting ideas, too. (Heard of Paul? He wrote this letter to some Christians in Rome that's just dynamite stuff; really, really good. He wrote some other stuff, too. He was a big Jesus-booster back in the day. Check the New Testament, I think some of his stuff is in there.)
(And, by the way, you don't have to buy Rick Warren's Purpose Driven New Testament, only $18.95 this week at Target. You can pick up a King James Bible for just a buck at the Dollar Tree, and nearly all* of the whole Bible is actually in there! For a buck! Can you believe it! I know, crazy, right?!)
Other than the Bible, read St. Thomas Aquinas, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton and the indispensable Deitrich Bonhoffer. (Bonhoffer. Wow. Now there is a real purpose driven life. His book The Cost Of Discipleship might not "change your life," but it will humble you.)
But, look, if you just want something with the substance of a Hallmark card, then the Rick Warren / Max Lucado / Five People You Meet In Heaven crap is just fine. Read it. Mist up. Feel good.
(Sidebar rant officially over)
- Bob Parks has a great picture of the ravages of global warming: Snow falling in Las Vegas.
- Speaking of the wackos at the Daily Kos, some of 'em are pleased as punch with the idea of Caroline Kennedy as a Senator. Nothing against the woman, but Caroline Kennedy's primary qualification for political office is that she is currently breathing.
Which is not to knock those Kennedys who are no longer breathing ... or any of them who might be fish-breathing at the moment.
Caroline Kennedy is a peachy choice for the US Senate. Right. Barely a month ago these same morons were telling us that Sarah Palin wasn't qualified to be VP.
- Scott liked In Bruges. Good. In Bruges was my pick for the second best film of 2007.
- Roanoke R N'R knows exactly what she doesn't want for Christmas.
Oh, I dunno. I think Christy Lane ROCKS!
Every single time I hear her singing Shake Me I Rattle I just want to grab her by the shoulders and shake the s**t out of her.
But that's just me.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
MCF kinda tagged me:
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I'm no good at wrapping gifts, Wendy handles that here. If I try to wrap something I usually end up with tape in my hair, on the ceiling, etc. I don't like gift bags, though. I think they're kinda chinsy.
2. Real tree or Artificial?
I prefer real trees, I like the smell. But we've used an artificial out of convenience for several years.
3. When do you put up the tree?
We put ours up last weekend. We usually put it up in the first week of December of so. My mom and stepdad are nuts, theirs goes up before Thanksgiving.
4. When do you take the tree down?
I always want it down right away after New Year's Day. Sometimes it's later than that coming down due to busy schedules, etc. But I can't stand to still be looking at the tree more than a day or two after New Years.
5. Do you like eggnog?
Love it. I love eggnog and fruitcake.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I posted this picture of myself on Christmas Day when I was eight once before:
By the way, in spite of the appearance in that picture, I do have and have always had a left eye.
7. Hardest person to buy for?
My stepson, Liam. He's just not a materialistic person. He rarely wants much of anything and we have to try to come up with stuff off the top of our heads. I remember one year when he was four or so, we asked him what he wanted most of all for Christmas and he said "Soup."
8. Easiest person to buy for?
My stepdaughter, Willow. She wants everything.
9. Do you have a nativity scene?
We do, it's behind me this very second. It's a small one, you could sit the whole thing up on a chair, but it's a Nativity nonetheless.
10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
We haven't done either over the last couple of years. We've been busy. I can remember one Christmas three or four years ago when we spent twenty bucks on postage for Christmas cards. I thought that was excessive.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Someone I was once married to always got me something last-minute, half-assed and uninteresting. One year I told her I'd like to have the movie Wag The dog and she instead gave me Primary Colors. Her explanation: "Same thing."
12. Favorite Christmas movie?
Every year I have to watch at least one production of A Christmas Carol (the George C. Scott version is my favorite, I'm a big fan of his). I also always have to see the original, animated 1966 television production of Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
You know, it never occurred to me until just now that they are essentially the same story. They're both stories about miserable old men who find redemption at Christmas time. Hmmmm. What's that say about me?
I love Boris Karloff's narration in ...Grinch. To me, that's one of the distinct sounds of Christmas.
13. When do you start shopping?
Wendy and I try to pick things up year round. We keep our eyes open, look for clearance sales, etc. Wendy is especially good at this.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yeah. Once or twice.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Homemade Chex mix, eggnogg, fruitcake.
16. Lights on the tree?
Yes. Are there people who don't put lights on their tree?
17. Favorite Christmas song?
I love Christmas but I've never liked Christmas music. Purely for nostalgic reasons, I don't mind hearing this:
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I've never traveled at Christmas and I don't think I ever would. I can see me holing up in my house, REFUSING to travel, and ultimately pissing off members of my family. Christmas traffic? Bah. Humbug.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
I thought they already had names. Why do I always get stuck doing someone else's work? Let Santa name his own reindeer.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
We haven't used a tree topper in years. We never could find one we liked and at some point someone said "Do we really have to use a tree topper?" The consensus, apparently, was that we don't.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
When I was a small child we always did it on Christmas morning. Then, once my sister and I were both young adults, my family switched to Christmas Eve for a long time. I don't think there was ever a decision to make that switch, it just kinda happened. Now that I have a family and kids of my own we're back to Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Like I said before, I don't dig Christmas music. And cloying, manipulative songs like this one especially get under my skin.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
We have Marvel Comics, Simpsons and Spongebob ornaments on our tree. I really enjoy those. My favorite ornament that we have, though, is either our Charlie In The Box misfit toy ornament or our Bumble ornament or our smiling Grinch ornament.
The Island of Misfit Toys was always my favorite thing about the Rudolph Christmas special. And I'm sure that says something about me, too. It always bugged me, though, that they all wanted off the island. They all complain about having to live on the island, feeling unloved, unwanted. I always thought "Why don't you guys love each other?" You wouldn't think misfits would feel rejected by other misfits, would you? And then, at the end, Santa gathers them all up and delivers them to children. But they'd all been complaining just before that no kid could love them because they were all misfits. So what kind of cruel joke is that? Stanta takes them off their island, where at least they had each other, and delivers them to kids who can't possibly love them.
Was he trying to teach them a lesson about how they could have been happier on their island if at least they hadn't taken each other for granted?
What's up with that? Is it, like, Santa's vicious attempt at ironic punishment? Is Santa like a Christmas version of John Doe from Se7en? Sick freak.
I mean, think about it. Santa clearly hated misfits. He even wanted Rudolph banished until his nose proved to be useful to Santa's own purposes. Santa just hated anyone who didn't conform to his rigid standards. His name should have been Saddam Claus. Vicious bastard.
No wonder his wife was trying to kill him with fatty foods. "Eat, Papa, eat!"
You know, this quandary probably made an early contribution to my lifelong mistrust of authority.
24. Favorite Christmas memory?
I can't put it into words. There are sounds, smells, etc, that will cause me to remember something that is impossible to voice, but something real. It's just a remembered feeling of the childhood magic of Christmastime.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Friday, November 28, 2008
You had it coming, America:
It's neat to see that this guy has a good sense of humor about himself and the RickRolling phenomenon.
By the way, I have never been RickRolled. Not as of yet, anyway. But Wendy got RickRolled just the other day and I thought it was hilarious.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
It Boggles The Mind
Hat tip to Jerry at From On High for pointing out that Planned Parenthood now offers gift certificates.
I. Do. Not. Get. It.
Maybe if everyone at the office goes in on a gift certificate, we can surprise Shelia with that abortion she's been wanting?
Does it come with fries?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Good Stuff Elsewhere
No time to blog today, but I'll remind you that the really good stuff is in my Google Reader. You can pick a headline from the blue box to the left or click here for the latest and greatest.
I will post this, though, really quickly. I always think it's a riot when one of the talking heads at Fox puts some leftist moron on blast. Like this, a few days ago, from Shepherd Smith:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
MCF's latest round of probing, exhaustive inquiries.
1) Is it good or bad when sitcoms feature celebrity guest stars?
I don't like sitcoms. I tend to feel that the writing, acting and directing in sitcoms is generally bad to awful. So when a movie star makes an appearance on a sitcom, my gut reaction is to wonder that he or she apparently needed a paycheck badly. Or maybe that he or she owed someone a favor.
That's different, though, when celebs show up as guest voices on the Simpsons. The Simpsons is the best thing American TV has ever produced, and well worth the time of anyone with actual talent.
Of course, all of this is just my opinion, and I insist that you brush it off and disregard it. I clearly don't know what I'm talking about and should never be taken seriously.
2) What is the most shocking thing you've seen on the internet?
Some of what comes to mind would include the following:
- Most recently, a blogger who shall remain nameless (except to assert that his name is and has always been Michael Wayvid Whorenelli), posted a link to what turned out to be a series of upsetting photographs of dogs who had been mutilated "in the name of science" by insane Europeans.
As a dog-lover, I had a terrible time looking at those pictures and I'm still suppressing the urge to get revenge by gathering up some scientists, chaining them to a tree and forcing them to "do their business" in the yard.
In the future, I'd like to suggest a new web-speak acronym for these kinds of posts. You know the kinds of acronym's I'm talking about. Stuff like NSFW (Not safe for work) or OMG (Oh, my God!) or ZMOG (Zebra meat on grill!) Posts involving links to mutilated dog pictures should include something like
Obviously, that would stand for "Warning, by clicking this link you might unintentionally see pictures of abused and mutilated dogs and might find that unbearable to the extent that you have to spend the rest of the evening rolling around in the floor with your own dogs until you feel better about what you've unwittingly seen because of the crass and shocking indifference of Michael Wayved Whorenelli, soon to be known as the Hugh Heffner or Larry Flint of mutilated-by-scientists dog-pictures pornography.*
*Though with less emphasis on the first amendment. He's apparently involved purely for love of the 'art.'"
- One of the first "dark side of the internet" sites I ever heard about was the infamous Rotten.com. I remember spending half an hour or so looking at that site for the first time. You have to be very careful about what you click there. Maybe you'll see something relatively harmless or silly ... or maybe you'll see something altogether different that will make you want to jump up, run outside and scream for the neighbor to come close your browser window for you so that you'll never risk seeing it again.
- The hanging of Saddam Hussein was a bit of a net sensation. It bothered me and I wrote about it.
- I understand that there is also a video out there called "two girls one cup." I haven't seen it, but I have had the video's action described for me by an enthusiastic young man who seemed to have (barely) more teeth than braincells. About fifteen seconds into his vivid description I had to request that oxygen and an epidural be administered if I were going to have to hear any more. Since nothing of the sort could be provided, I opted to walk away, even though doing so meant going back to the work I was supposed to be doing at the time.
3) Is it possible to have too much free time?
If you've read anything ... ANYTHING ... at this blog, you know that the answer is yes.
4) Inspired by a recent Dwight Shrute monologue, I ask you: what's your perfect crime?
Inspired by Guns N' Roses, I'll answer you thus:
"You wanna f--- with me? Don't f--- with me.
I'm what you'll be, so don't f--- with me."
SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What (animated) fictional town offers a whirlwind existence, race cars, lasers, airplanes, mystery-solving, time travel, and more?
Well, it's not fictional, but it is "animated." You've just offered a perfect description of Iron Gate, Virginia.
Friday, November 21, 2008
- Just a reminder that I really do believe that, nowadays, the best reason to visit this blog is to see the awesome stuff I share from my Google Reader. The box o' links is at the top of the column to the left.
- Keith Roy Weatherley was sitting in his car when the police tried to arrest him.
He was pleasuring himself with a jar of spaghetti sauce.
It took four officers to remove him from his car. While wrestling with those officers, Weatherley continued trying to pleasure himself.
Afterwards, when the police searched his car, they found pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
I DID NOT make any of that up.
You know, I think that the best thing about having a physical relationship with spaghetti sauce is that you can't get it PREGO! HA!
I also want to say that it's high time these simple, small-minded Republican bigots stop preventing marriages between people and pasta toppings.
- Yep, that's about it:
HT: The Ol' Broad.
- It's turkey! It's food! Darn near all of you will be eating turkey next week, and that turkey will have been slaughtered in the exact same way! Get over it, geeeez, ya friggin' crybabies!
- The movie I now officially want to see more than any other movie is Darren Aronofsky's Mickey Rourke vehicle, The Wrestler:
- Hey, whattaya know! George Dubya ChimpHitler somehow managed during his administration to end global warming! Now, I know that it would just be FAAAAR too much to ask for you leftists to give him credit for his amazing feat, but can you at least quell the alarmist crap for now?
- My non-blogging friend The Governor brought my attention to the following:
Rep. Ellen Tauscher (D-Calif,), who chairs the House Armed Services Committee strategic forces subcommittee, with oversight of missile defense programs, said missile defense programs will receive hard and long scrutiny next year.
No rogue nations have been dissuaded by formation of the U.S. missile defense shield from continuing to develop long-range missiles and nuclear weapons, she commented.
"The truth is, is that it hasn't caused anybody to stop doing what they're doing," she said. "And if it hasn't done that, then holy moly, what's the point" of developing missile defenses?"
Rogue nations are still developing long range missiles and nuclear weapons ... therefore, US missile defense programs are useless. Yep, makes PERFECT F&%$%NG SENSE to me.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Gotta wonder if this guy's license plate number is D-FENS:
Go to Geekologie for additional cell-phone video.
Monday, November 10, 2008
You might notice that I've made a few format changes to my blog. I hope it's cleaner and simpler now.
Most of what I'm doing simply involves integrating Google Reader, which is an awesome resource. The fonts in the main posts are a little larger and the line spacing is a bit more dramatic, too. Overall, I hope the blog looks more streamlined, less cluttered, and easier to read.
My sidebar is now on the left, and you'll notice that I've added a widget that lists my recent reads. When I read something at another blog that I particularly want to point out, it'll pop up in that list.
My blogroll is now much smaller, too. I've trimmed a few blogs that don't publish regularly anymore. I've also gotten rid of some of the links to blogs that seemed superfluous. (Does Little Green Footballs, for instance, or Hot Air really rely on me to generate traffic? I don't imagine so.) It's possible, though, that I forgot to apply the proper Google Reader tag to your blog. So if you know I've always linked to you and for some reason you're not in my blogroll now, please let me know in the comments.
If the changes aren't showing up, try refreshing your browser. And please leave me a comment to tell me what you think.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
- A month or so ago (I think?) Rhodester suggested I check out Google Reader, a very handy tool for coordinating, organizing and reading blogs. I filed the advice away in the back of my mind, but I never bothered to really set it up for myself until last night. (I'm never the first to check out something new.)
Well, I've ended up really grateful that Dave suggested Google Reader. I have 40 or 50 blogs that I try to check once a day, and Google Reader makes checking them much easier, much quicker and maybe more fun. So take Dave's advice, I'm glad I finally did. Google Reader is awesome.
If you want to see how Google Reader looks, you can check this out: One option once you set up your reader account is to share things that catch your eye with ... well, with whomever. My shared page is right here.
- A couple of people have told me that they're surprised that I'm in relatively good spirits, considering how things went Tuesday. And here's the truth of it: Tuesday night wasn't a loss for me.
Tuesday night was not a loss for conservatives.
Tuesday night was a loss for liberal Republicans. Why should I give two s#!ts about liberal Republicans? Why should I care that they lost elections? They don't represent my views. Screw 'em.
Richard Viguerie sums it up to my satisfaction:
"Conservatism did not lose – big government Republicanism lost..."
Let's hope that the GOP is paying attention now and that Tuesday's drubbing will yank their asses back into gear. Give us conservative choices and conservatives will put them in office.
- I can't get over this silly crap:
The OFFICE of the PRESIDENT-ELECT??
Have you ever heard any elected candidate refer to himself as the "President Elect?" It's just killing him to have to wait until mid-January to be sworn in, isn't it?
This goes beyond affectation or pretension. This is just silly. This is just childish.
Oh, and what did he do while standing there at his snazzy, all-official-looking new "President-Elect" podium? He mocked a sickly, 87 year old widow.
You stay classy, now, Mr. Big Shot.
- DJ Drummond at WizBang shoots holes in the talk about Obama's election being historic:
"...let's start with the notion that a black man winning election makes that election 'historic'. Really now, by that logic we have had a lot of 'historic' elections. George Washington was the first president, John Adams the first president not named Washington, various presidents were the first to be elected of their party, Thomas Jefferson was the first president to be elected in a contest decided by the House of Representatives, Martin Van Buren was the first natural-born American to be elected president, John Quincy Adams was the first president elected in an election where citizens voted for their states' electors, James Buchanan was the first and so far only bachelor to be elected president, John Kennedy was the first Catholic president, and so on and so on...
What is strange about Obama's focus on being the first black president, is that he started his campaign claiming to be beyond that."
I see where he's going with that. I won't say that I agree with him, not completely, but I concede the point that simply being an "historic" President isn't good enough.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I'm Worthy, I'm Worthy!
By the way, according to at least one source, I was worthy to cast my vote today:
You're darn tootin', Skippy.
Monday, November 03, 2008
MCFAT: Ecks Ecks Eye Eye Eye
MCF's latest round of questions:
1) Do you like Halloween? Why or why not?
Yeah, I love it. I just always have. I do enjoy horror movies, ghost stories, etc ... but probably no more than many other people do. So I like Halloween because the Discovery Channel, the Travel Channel, et al, do all those specials with names like The Fifty Scariest Places In South-West Detroit. I eat that stuff up. That's what Tivo was made for.
2) What is your favorite sound effect?
The Wilhelm Scream is a fun one, if only for trivia purposes. But I have to admit that I'm not that good at spotting it when it comes up in movies.
On a more personal note ... every year, about this time of year, I edit our year's worth of home movies down to one half-hour or so of highlights. Then I put it on DVD with all the amenities: Opening credits, sound effects, background music, etc. We send the finished product out with our Christmas cards.
I've learned from all this editing and producing that you can't go wrong by adding Yakety Sax to the soundtrack of just about anything. Here's a demonstration, a video that prominently features one of our dogs. I uploaded this to YouTube almost two years ago:
Yakety Sax is my go-to music for just about any video footage. If you speed up a bit of video and add that song to the mix, you usually end up with comedy gold.
I thought about this for a while a little earlier, and I asked myself, is there any video footage that isn't improved by adding Yakety Sax to the background? I decided to do a little experiment:
The jury is still out on the results. Nonetheless, for my money, Yakety Sax almost always brings the funny.
3) How do you feel when studios recast roles to different actors in sequels to popular films?
It depends on the reason. If an actor holds out for more money and the studio says "Screw you, pal," I usually side with the studio. No actor is irreplaceable.
Having said that, there are instances where a given studio has gone with a more "bankable" star, and with disastrous results. I'm thinking about the first Batman movie franchise.
And as a Batman fanboy, I'm so happy with Christian Bale in the current films that I'd hate to see him replaced.
But no actor should own any given role purely as a matter of principle.
4) Fire or Ice?
SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: Who is Zsaji?
Uh ... ZsaZsa after a few too many?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Real Diversity
I wrote the other day that I wasn't gonna take time to blog for a while. But today I saw that Zo Rachel has a new video posted. And I watched it, and as usual, it's brilliant, insightful and funny. Zo kicks all the ass, man. So I wanted to log on and post it, and here it is:
Zo is hugely quotable: "Obama and the Democrat party are the ones who stand above you holding up the heads of the rich, as you work yourselves into a frenzy, so they can toss it to you. Now, I'm just wondering, how does this make your life better as you destroy the ones who could give you jobs?"
Zo also does a great job in this one of blasting the whole argument about how "Obama is a community organizer, just like Jesus!"
And he talks a little bit here about the attacks he gets for being a black man and a conservative. And his observations are so good and so smart, and he presents them so well, that he left me wanting to pump my fist and yell "Yeah!" ... and I'm not even a black guy.
The point is, Zo is an awesome communicator. Not just a "good speaker," but a communicator. There's a difference. A "good speaker" can talk for a long time and sound really cool, but never really say anything. (As in "Hope, change, hope, change.")
A great communicator can say incredibly important things in very few words ... and say them clearly, directly, concisely and creatively ... and say them in a way you instantly understand and relate to and will remember. (As in "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.")
Obama is a "speaker." Zo is a communicator.
You guys enjoy him on YouTube while he's there, because he's headed for a much bigger future than this.
But, anyway, I got to thinking about the race issue as Zo addressed it. One of the good things about the Obama candidacy is that it's interjected the subject of race into the national conversation ... as it relates to ideology and politics.
It seems to me that number of people who "aren't supposed to be conservative" have been speaking out lately, "outing" themselves as conservatives. A great many people who are minorities and/or women are refusing to pack themselves onto the bus with Obama and Hillary (remember Hillary?), where the Democrats seem to think they belong.
The Democratic party has claimed to hold the monopoly on "diversity" for a long time. But it's always been obvious that Democratic "diversity" is a very stifling kind of "diversity." After all, liberals and Democrats don't believe in ideological diversity. You must agree with them on every topic ... abortion, taxes, the environment, civil rights, the war, etc ... or you're out in the cold.
Meanwhile, among conservatives, there's plenty of room for both ideological AND cultural diversity. Plenty of conservatives disagree on any of the topics listed above, and on other topics. My opposition to the death penalty, for instance, doesn't make me a "fake conservative." And my fellow conservatives never tell me that I don't really understand that issue, or that I'm a "sell-out," or that I'm deluded.
Differ from the Democratic party on any issue and you'll find out quickly how little tolerance they have for ideological diversity:
- Have doubts about the specifics of climate change? Then you're a "global warming denier," kinda like a "holocaust denier."
- Have concerns that abortion on demand might be irresponsible at best, or maybe murder at worst? Then you're some kind of monster who wants to oppress women.
- Oppose the Obama campaign? You RACIST!
- Support the troop surge and the successful result's it's generated? WARMONGER! NEOCON!
- Insist that immigration be a legal process? You're a racist and you're ignorant.
And as Zo has pointed out, if you're a black man and you hold any of these opinions, you can expect to be labeled an "uncle tom," too.
So if you're going to be a liberal Democrat, good luck. You better get a copy of the approved liberal positions and adopt each and every one of them. There's no room for individual thought. Thinking for yourself, after all, is divisive. Shut up. Be happy. Vote Obama.
Meanwhile, the real diversity can be found under the great conservative umbrella. The ideological diversity has always been here. And more and more, the real cultural and constructive diversity is obviously here, too.
Conservatism: It's what America looks like, it's what America thinks like. It's the foundation that keeps America great. Great enough to withstand anything, even the coming four years of Obama socialism.
Here's a snapshot of what Conservatism looks like in America in 2008. Click the pictures below and get to know some of our very best (especially that dude on the bottom, pimpin' out with the fuzzy pink hat.):
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