I'm a big fan of heavy metal music, I have been since I was a kid and I just refuse to grow out of it. I gotta have my metal.

One consequence of metal addiction is that you're constantly seeking out new bands to check out. One consequence of that is that you get exposed to a huge number of really awful heavy metal bands.

Another consequence is that you see an awful lot of really, really, really awful album covers.

With the Mp3 and the iPod quickly replacing the music store and the CD (just as the CD replaced the classic vinyl LP), maybe it's time to celebrate some of the absolute worst album covers out there before the whole concept of album covers is forgotten forever.

The best thing about this cover is that it features not one but two rockin' metal mustaches.

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There's just too much going on here.

The being on the cover seems to be a Transformer. MCF could probably tell me for sure if it's an authentic one or not.

One of his legs is either a bus or a subway train, and one of his feet is a tank (I'm talking about the being on the album cover, not MCF). And, he has giant moth wings. Because, you know, he'd look goofy without them. And he's apparently ripped out his (horribly swollen) heart and is in the process of replacing it with ... a large gear. And, really, I don't see how he had any other choice.

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It's kinda cool that this must be a Latino metal band. My biggest complaint is that the little skeleton-guy is gonna be far to short to play that big-ass guitar.

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Another cover with just far too much going on. I don't blame the old guy for drinking, I'd drink too if I'd lost my right leg and all of my shirt's buttons.

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Damn you, cruel hand of fate! He finally kisses a girl and it's just as they electrocute him! Doh!

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What is that thing?

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Beware the giant Easter eggs of doom!

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I'm fine with this album cover featuring an ax-wielding sumo wrestler with the head of ... the head of a hamster, I think. And I'm fine with all the skulls, which seem to indicate that the sumo hamster guy is really brutal. And I'm fine with the fact that apparently a 747 is about to crash into the sumo hamster guy. Clearly he was asking for it. But why is sumo hamster guy's body pink? That just makes the whole concept seem silly.

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"See! I told you guys that the painting I made in seventh grade would eventually be my own band's album cover!"

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This last one is my favorite. I just can't decide what I like most about it. Maybe it's the seven-foot tall Lurch lookalike with the formal shirt and the giant hair. Maybe it's the combination of fists and sunglasses. Nothing says "We kick ass" more than fists and sunglasses. Or maybe my favorite thing is the guy second from the right. The one who's right eye appears to be bulging out of his head. There's just so much to love about this album cover. I want a FatHead of this album cover.

Labels: Humor, Music