• I'm soooo metal.


• I've seen Metallica live somewhere between three and five times.


• I have a big-ass Metallica collection, representing 26 years of the band's history.


• I've been a fan of the band's for twenty-two or twenty-three years.


• Really, I'm very, very metal.


• I once saw the Cult open for Metallica and I was close enough to the stage that when the Cult's guitarist came over and started shaking his head around, some of his sweat flew onto me. I didn't protest very loudly.

The Official SouthCon Metallica Album Ranking

• 01: Master of Puppets. The best album they've done. I got it when it was new, mostly to shut up a friend who kept telling me that, really, he was certain that I'd absolutely LOVE it. My friend was right. I'll never forget the first time through this album. Eye's wide, mouth hung open, stomach clinched, thinking "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God..."
  
  You know those moments when you realize that your taste in music has been changed forever?



• 02: The self-titled Black Album. A grower, not a shower. I didn't know what to make of this album at first, it seemed like a major departure. Now I consider it essential listening. This may be the band's best written album. It's tight, it's solid all the way through, it endures.



• 03: Kill 'Em All. Indispensable, if only because of how well these early songs still go over live. Can you imagine a Metallica show without Seek And Destroy or No Remorse or at least Whiplash?



• 04: Death Magnetic. It's that good. Not yet two weeks old and this one already deserves a high ranking. This is the album hardcore Metallica fans had been hoping and praying for for a long time.



• 05: Load. This is the one I always catch hell about, but I think it's a solid album. It deserves to be ranked this high. Well written, well performed, well produced, only about three clunkers in the set. And I don't mind that it isn't really a "metal" album. Every good band is going to have it's "experimental" period if they last long enough. This album was the highlight of Metallica's experimenting.



• 06: Ride The Lightning. Production quality holds this one back, plus two of Metallica's most boring songs, Trapped Under Ice and Escape. I haven't sat all the way through those two songs in years. But there are some classics on here, and Creeping Death, the title track and For Whom The Bell Tolls are genre staples.



• 07: ...And Justice For All. Production value is a big problem with this album. Most of the songs are too long, too, and some are too repetitive. I suspect that, at this point, Metallica was just doing long songs because they thought their fans expected it. That's why they shortened the songs on the next album, their Black Album. They just did what felt right and said to hell with expectations. I've heard them say that very thing about the Black Album.



• 08: St. Anger. In spite of the genuinely downright bad production and the absence of solos, this is still a set of well written songs. And there is a tremendous energy on the album. Had Bob Rock not sabotaged the band, this would be higher on the list. Songs like Sweet Amber, Dirty Window and The Unnamed Feeling show the band in top song-writing form. Hetfield's vocals are the best element of the album.



• 09: Reload. A group of meandering, mostly unimpressive songs. Standout tracks, the only ones worth listening to, include The Unforgiven II (I catch hell for liking that song, too, but I think it's the best on the album), Fixxxer, The Memory Remains and Bad Seed. Everything else is filler. This should have been an EP.



• 10: The disc of new recordings from the Garage, Inc set. Yeah, I'm mostly including it here to get an even ten albums, and it's totally forgettable. The cover of Sabbra Cadabra and the cover of Blue Oyster Cult's Astronomy are decent, but not worthy of anything more than b-sides. This "album" was totally phoned in.

Labels: Metallica, Music

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