First of all, no, I'm not one of those guilt-ridden, pasty white liberals who stares into his navel, contemplating racism.

So there's that.

Having said that, I want to say that Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste is crappy, racist toothpaste.

I learned about this product from one of the blogs I read, The Impulsive Buy. You'll find it in my blogroll.

The pictures to the right are actual pictures of Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste, and I think that the very appearance of the product is probably enough to get most people to agree with me that it's crappy toothpaste. Crappy looking, anyway.

I don't think I'd have the courage to put this product in my mouth.

But it's the product's marketing campaign that reveals it to be racist.

Watch this insensitive, ugly television commercial for Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste:

What, exactly, is the message of that commercial? All I can get out of it is "Black men scare children and their mothers. Black men will take your balloon. When black men roll over and go to sleep they look like giant turds on top of toothbrushes. Buy our product!"

On the upside, I guess, the commercial does seem to imply that black men are super awesome climbers.

I'm offended by that commercial on behalf of the black men I know, none of whom have ever taken my balloon or scared my children. And they look like angels when they sleep, not like giant toothbrush turds at all.

Not that I sneak around peeking into windows watching black men sleep, and not that I plan to do it again next Tuesday night.

So I think we have to boycott Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste. As of now I pledge to only use white toothpaste.

Wait a minute ... let me think this through.

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