OK, this is a new one on me. A perv who's been arrested is trying a new spin on the "poor little criminal" defense. This guy isn't just claiming that he was abused in his past. He's claiming that he was abused by bigfoot.

Just like I'm sure most folks reacted, my first reaction was "Yeah, right." But then I did a little research and now I'm not as confident. Bigfoot has been accused of misconduct in the past:

And like most celebrities, Bigfoot's deep pockets have kept him out of trouble in the past:

Plus, I've noticed that he spends an unusual amount of time with other peoples' kids:

But the most damning piece of evidence against Bigfoot that I've found is this closer examination of the famous Patterson film:

Labels: Humor, News