Charles Krauthammer coined the phrase Bush Derangement Syndrome as a way of summarizing the conditions of people who can't mention the current President without screaming and ranting about Hitler, theocracy and lies.

Of course, I don't suffer from Bush Derangement Syndrome, but I will admit that I've come down with a serious case of Bush Disappointment Syndrome. If you don't know, Bush Disappointment Syndrome affects conservatives exclusively. It's symptoms include

• Vague malaise about current affairs...


• The presence of sweaty palms whenever the topic of the '08 presidential election is introduced...


• A severe facial tick that develops at the mention of the words Dubai or Port Authority...


• A tendency to hold one's breath whenever the President speaks … and exhale with audible relief if he finishes speaking without saying something dumb...

My fellow conservatives, it's time to face the fact that our boy has pretty much dropped the ball. Of course, it's no great surprise. Dubya was never the brightest shining star of the American conservative movement. We elected him in 2000 because … well, who else was there? We reelected him in 2004 because the Democrats refused to nominate their only viable candidate, Joe Lieberman. The Democrats hated Lieberman because, to paraphrase Mr. Spock, "in the insane political party, the sane man must appear insane."

Things look bad for the Republican party right now, with the President's approval rating lower than dirt. Recent polls show that Dubya is less popular than paper cuts and only slightly more popular than hemorrhoids with paper cuts.

I have to laugh when I hear liberals imply (or flat-out say) that Bush is just Dick Cheney's puppet. I laugh and I say "I wish that were true, since Cheney is a solid conservative."

I'm not as sure about Dubya's conservative credentials.

We all know that he's spent money like crazy, he's managed Iraq with a fist of pudding, he's aligned himself with Ted Friggin' Kennedy on immigration … heck, even his most popular policies (No Child Left Behind and the prescription drug benefit) are classic big-government liberalism. The truth is, in those areas, neither Gore nor Kerry would have been worse.

I can hear some of my fellow conservatives now, gnashing their teeth and demanding to know if I think I could have done better. Well, no, probably not. But this is the blogosphere, so I hope you'll tolerate a bit of Monday morning quarterbacking on my part.

I admit that I am happy with Bush's tax cuts, of course. He was right, cutting taxes did reenergize the economy. A nation that can afford to spend 148 million bucks on a weekend movie doesn't have a lot of money woes worth mentioning. But if you're gonna cut taxes, you gotta cut spending. Uncle Ron taught us that, and Uncle Ron was right.

I'm also bugged about some forgotten promises from the 2004 GOP Convention. I remember a lot of talk about an "ownership society" during Dubya's speech then, and I remember that the speech left me feeling … well, energized. I especially liked the idea of Social Security privatization. I'd love to have some control of the money going out of my check for Social Security each month. Dubya sounded like he was really serious about pushing that option for me, but he just let the issue drop somewhere along the way. Damn it, Mr. President. I've got thirty-odd more years in the workforce ahead of me. You couldn't keep up the fight for four years?

When it comes to Iraq, let's face it. It ain't working. The surge, in spite of some initial progress, doesn't look promising at all. It appears that we've put our fighting men and women in a bad spot. They fought with one arm behind their backs for three years, and we only gave them more of what they needed when it was too little, too late. At this point, I'd advocate a Will Munny policy with regard to Iraq. Here's what we oughta do: First, we get out of the UN and tell them to take their dog and pony show elsewhere. Then we announce that we're getting our guys out of Iraq, but we qualify the statement like Clint Eastwood's character, Will Munny, in Unforgiven: "All right, I'm coming out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down." In other words, we'll be back with big ol' bombs and stuff if anyone here takes a crackshot at the US. And that goes for all of you America-hating types. (You hear me talking, France?)

Hell, let's face it. We tried to do the right thing in Iraq. They hate us anyway. They always have, they always will. We tried the nation-building thing, we tried to foster democracy in barren soil and it didn't work. We've cast our pearls before swine. They don't want democracy. They want to kill each other in the sand. Fine. Whatever. If they ever show signs of actually trying democracy, I guess we should come back and help. Meanwhile, there are situations in Darfur, Iran and North Korea that might require US military attention soon. Especially Darfur, where the genocide is just beyond the pale. Lets bring our troops home and get them some rest, because we're gonna need them again. And sooner, rather than later.

Now, I admit, Bush 43 has done some things very well. He's rock solid on the right to life, and I admire and respect him for that. He has my gratitude. Of course the tax cuts did prove to be just what the doctor ordered, and there's no way any Democrat would have handled 9/11 better than Dubya did. Credit where credit is due.

But I'm afraid that Dubya's lasting legacy will be a virtual lock on the White House for the Democrats in '08. And won't that be a blast? It'll mean more government control of health care, a dream come true for everyone who's ever wished that a hospital was more like the DMV. It'll mean higher taxes for people who've gotten sick of bringing home so much of their pay during this decade. It'll mean fewer young people dying on the battlefield … and a whole lot more young people dying in the womb. And in test tubes. And in embassy bombings, for that matter.

Oh, well. At this point I'd say there's nothing to be done about it. I guess my generation needs to learn some things the hard way, and maybe we'll need to elect our own version of Jimmy Carter in order to do so. But I'm gonna remain optimistic. We all remember who followed Carter. Maybe my generation has it's own version of Reagan out there somewhere, taking it all in, making careful notes and learning to lead.

I hope that Dubya and I both live long enough to vote for him.