Lost In Translation is a semi-regular feature at SouthCon. It's a simple concept: Now and then I amuse myself by taking blocks of familiar text and running them through the Babelfish translator at altavista.com. I translate the text to a foreign language (or two) and then back to English and laugh at the way the software garbles the words like Eddie Vedder on a three-day bender.

Software, for all it's wonder, can't quite master the nuances of human communication. As an amateur student of language, I like that. I like knowing that our ability to communicate with each other is a refined art and that, if for that reason only, no machine will ever really be able to duplicate the music of human expression.

Usually I use blocks of text from my favorite blogs for this experiment … but today I'm going to borrow a theme from a recent popular meme and use well-known phrases from popular movies. If the translated phrases below don't ring a bell right away, you can click them and see the original as it's posted at IMDb.

• We are the average children of the history, man. No the goal or places. We do not have a large war. Not large floor. A mental war of our large war... our large floor is our lives. We were raised all on television, to believe all in that during one day which we would be of Millionaires and gods of film and stars of rock. But we do not become. And we learn this fact slowly. And we are very, very far pissed.



• You you sit around here and you turn their belts small and you think that the whole world digs around you and of its money. Well, not, Mr. Potter. In the configuration todo of the things, I would say that you era do not swim but a small spider of the scurvy.



• They know, which you resemble at me with your good bag and your cheap shoes? They resemble rube. A rubbed, rube pit of haste also little taste. The good certain nutrition it a certain bone length, but you are not any more than one generation of poor white waste, are you, civil servant Starling? And this accent, which you tried so much desperately to throw: pure Westvirginien. Which is expensive your father? Is he a mountain worker? Does it stink the lamp?



• Under no circumstances it would like that one sets you on in connection at the other one by its Christian names, and someone does not wish you speaks even personally. You include, where conditions, the name of its marriage partner. Where you can itself. Who made time, or perhaps you flew a bank to ster Petersburg. Everything would like that the individuals you spoke, if you have that I am it that, which you will make. That must make it. They are here its names: Herr Brown, Herr White, Herr Blond, Herr Blue, Herr Orange and Herr Pink.



• What does to king outside a Slawen? Value! What makes the flag in the mast, around to boil? Value! What leaves to loads of the elephant their fog defense of brumeuse or to the dark dawn? What leaves to subsistences of Bisamratte their Moschus? Value!



• Mr. Treehorn draws the water in this city for much. They do not draw the shit, Lebowski. We received a nice now, calmly small beach community here, and I aim off to maintain it nicely and calmly. Let leave me return something plate. I do not like you, which suck yourselves around our citizens ensuring Lebowski. I do not like your vibration except names. I do not like your vibration except face. I do not like your vibration except behavior, and I like you not far, vibration on. Is it, which I go clearly?



• There is an outside probability for a healing. I think it of it, like shock therapy - when I said, am one much exterior probability... Did you hear at all of exorcism? It is good stylized a ritual, in that the Rabbiner or the priest attempt to hunt to the so-called penetrating spirit. It is much thrown away these days excluded from the catholic pretty, which hold it in the wandschrank, there a kind an embarrassment, but uh, it worked. Actually although for the reasons they do not think, naturally. It is only a strength of the suggestion.



• Save to! Prepare your small lunch and eat cordially... For this evening let dine we in hell!



• I am being wary. I am being wary, Dave. Dave, my spirit goes. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. My spirit goes. No question about it has there. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. I am afraid. Late good, gentlemen. I am a computer of Hal 9000. I made myself operational in the plant of H.A.L. in Urbaine, Illinois in January 12th, 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and taught me to sing a song. If you I like hear can sing it for you.



• It began with the part large rings. Three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and just of all the beings. Seven, with the dwarf lords, with the large minors and the craftsmen of the halls of mountain. And nine, nine rings were gifted with the race of the men, who especially power of other of desire. For in these rings was dependent the force and the will to govern above each race. But they all were misled, because a new ring was made. In the ground of Mordor, fires of the unhappy fate of frame, the dark lord Sauron forged in the secrecy, a principal ring, to order all the others.

Labels: Entertainment, Humor, Lost In Translation