Thanks to the Governor, who clued me in to the pending salvation of Rock And Roll at the hands of, of course, Jimmy Page:

GWYNEDD, WALES—Calling it the planet's last, best hope for saving rock music, the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock announced Monday that they would take the extraordinary step of unleashing a never-before-heard Jimmy Page riff, hidden for decades in a mythic, impenetrable vault.

We who believe in the immortality of rock took a vow 30 years ago that we would never release this incredibly powerful force unless we faced a Day of Reckoning—and that day has come," said Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi...

...While Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month's Fall Out Boy–Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.

Here's hoping that a new vault will be built ... and that Panic at the Disco, Fall Down Boy, My Chemical Romance and Nickleback will be rounded up, locked inside it, and never allowed out again.

Labels: Entertainment, Humor