A Memphis-area megachurch has erected a Statue of Liberty lookalike -- holding a cross instead of a torch -- to remind Americans of their “spiritual liberation” and to show that Christianity should guide the nation.

The fiberglass-and-steel “Statue of Liberation Through Christ” was dedicated during a July 4 carnival and barbeque at World Overcomers Outreach Ministries Church. Standing 72 feet high, Liberty also carries a copy of the Ten Commandments, has a broken, gold chain at her feet, and bears a single tear on her cheek.

Alton Williams, pastor of the Memphis church, said he commissioned the statue -- which required $260,000 and nearly five years to build -- to declare to passersby that Jesus is the only way to salvation.

“I decree the spirit of conviction on this intersection," Williams said during the unveiling ceremony. "This statue proves that Jesus Christ is Lord over America. He is Lord over Tennessee. He is Lord over Memphis."

Williams, a prominent Memphis leader, has a reputation for public displays of faith. According to the Commercial Appeal, his church has bought full-page advertisements in the Memphis newspaper condemning homosexuality.

It wasn't a complex concept to master, it was addictive and fun, and it was, we were sure, the climax of all possible variations on the video game ethos.

We were wrong. Oh, we were so wrong. In our innocence… in our wide-eyed joypad pounding gullibility, we could have never guessed the evil that was to come.

Today, our children (meaning the three children in the charge of Wendy and me) own sophisticated Video game consoles with names like Game Cube and The Former Box (or maybe it's The Ex-Box. Whatever.)

In this bizarre, unimaginable future we find ourselves in, the Sonic the Hedgehog games still exist, but in a radically changed and unimaginably subversive new form.

On the Surface the Sonic games still involve running fast and jumping on stuff… but what they don't tell adults is that, buried within the world of the fast little Hedgehog, there is now a new world. A new world of dark, unimaginable power. A world that lures in children and robs them of their ability to think, communicate, or even consume Pop Tarts more than three feet away from the video game system.

This is the world of the Chaos.

The word above is not "Chaos," as in "a state of disorder and confusion." The word above is the plural form of the word Chao. A Chao (pronounced Chow) is a small video game creature that waddles around, coos, jumps up and down, and does little else. These things must be virtually raised, just like animals, from infancy. When they are babies, all they can do is coo and waddle around. From what I can tell, in their adult form, a Chao is capable of cooing and waddling around much more aggressively.

Our children are obsessed with raising, feeding, nurturing and caring for these Chaos. They have several Sonic the Hedgehog video games, none of which they actually play. When they put in a Sonic video game, all they do is go immediately to the subgame (or subworld or submarine or whatever) where the Chaos are and start naming them, raising them, feeding them, fighting with each other over them, and generally turning my house into the epicenter of Chao culture and strife.

It's a cult. It's an abominable cult. Oh, how could you have done it, Sonic? All those years I spent helping you innocently run to the left and jump on stuff…. How was I to know that what you were really doing was leading us to a world of darkness, fear, obsession, and incessant cooing and waddling?

Be aware, parents, and be afraid. Sonic is no longer our friend.