There is absolutely NO point in reading today's post unless you can make one of the following statements about yourself:

• I love comic books and I am not ashamed of that. I'm an unabashed comics geek.


• I love Spider-Man… the movies, the TV cartoons, etc.


• I am interested in geeks… what makes them tick, why they think and act the way they do, and why they're so darned weird.

If none of those things are true about you, turn back now. Everything that follows will bore you to tears.

Personally, all three of the statements above are true about me.

I am a Geek. My Geek denomination is comic books, and I have level 4 (burgeoning on level 5) powers specifically within in the Spider-Man domain. I can use my Geek powers to conquer imposing trivia questions, to recognize obscure references in pop culture, to alienate normal human beings, and to levitate. (Alright, I admit, I exaggerated my powers a bit, there. The truth is, some obscure references actually go over my head.)

When I met Wendy, she was firmly entrenched in the Hippie camp, with an advanced understanding of Hippie culture, music, art and beverages. In the time we've been together, I've been able to exercise my raw but dynamic mind-control Geek powers on her, and she is becoming an enthusiastic practitioner of the "Geek Way." I think of her as my Geek Padawan Learner, although she prefers the term "wife."

She refuses to believe that I can levitate simply because I've never had the occasion to do so in her presence.

Occasionally, she takes on an adversarial role and counteracts my Geek powers with a process known as "the rolling of the eyes." When applied by the women we love, "the rolling of the eyes" is kryptonite to adult male geeks. It usually causes us to retreat to our computers and read Aint It Cool News obsessively until we feel that we've regained the full capacity of our Geekness.

Now that we've gotten all of that out of the way, today we shall focus on Spider-Man 3.

You should know that some Geeks express their Geekness by collecting action figures. That is a perfectly valid geek practice, although one I've never taken up. For one thing, I don't have the money… for another thing, I've never been interested. Besides, our kids have tons and tons of action figures, so I get to see all the plastic Spider-Mans and Wolverines and Power Rangers I could want to see simply by walking through our house. I don't need to buy action figures for myself. When I want to play with them (and I've been known to), I simply borrow the ones that belong to the kids.

However, about a year ago, while doing some early Christmas shopping for the kids, Wendy and I walked through the toy isle at K-mart and I spotted something that I simply HAD to have. I could not go without it. I had to buy it, I had to bring it home, and I had to position it near my computer so that I could look at it frequently and appreciate it's wonderfulness.

It was an eighteen inch tall Venom figure. It was huge. It was monstrous. It made me tremble with fear and delight. I had never in my adult life bought an action figure for myself… but for this one I'll make an exception.

Here's a picture of it. I have it posed with Liam's regulation-size black-suit Spider-Man just for some perspective of it's size:

At this point, you are having one of three possible reactions:

• "COOL! I want one, too!"


• "Well, I'm into Spider-Man and Venom… but why would he buy a toy? He's a grown man, for pity's sake."


• "This guy is the biggest loser in the world."

If your reaction is the third one, I have no idea why you've even read this far. You can leave now. You are neither welcome here, nor should you feel welcome. Go in peace, return to your own kind. Here, you are a stranger in a strange land.

The other day I posted the infamous fake Spider-Man 3 trailer, and the next day I mentioned how stupid I felt about having fallen for the fake trailer.

Once I saw the official Spider-Man 3 teaser trailer (which you can watch on YouTube or at a variety of other sites), I had a number of reactions. I'll post them below, and you should know that most of what I'm about to say below will be irrelevant to non-Geeks. Again, I'll warn you, if you aren't as excited about the upcoming Spider-Man movie as I am, you're wasting your time reading any of this.

Anyway, on with the ranting.

For one thing, I think that the trailer looks very promising.

The last time I wrote about Spider-Man 3 at film geeks, I said I wished that the movie version of the black suit looked more like the comic-book version of the black suit. Now that I realize (I think) what the premise of this third movie is going to be, I take that back. I'm happy with the basic story that (I think) this movie will tell.



I think this movie is going to focus on Peter rather than on the villains. Good. At least, I really hope that it does. Spider-Man 2 worked so well because the focus was on the hero rather than on the bad-guy(s). And, while we're on the subject, the reason that Batman Begins is the greatest super-hero movie ever is because it was the first Batman movie to actually focus on the most interesting character in any Batman story: namely, Batman himself.

I LOVE Venom. He's my favorite comic-book villain ever. That ought to be obvious by now. Nonetheless, I hope that Venom doesn't even factor into this movie. If we see Venom at all, I hope it's right at the end, simply as the set-up for the fourth movie. I want this movie to focus on the duality in Pete's personality, and the way that the black suit really brings that out of him. Remember, when Pete first got his Spider powers, he wanted to use them for his own benefit. It was only the death of Uncle Ben, and the ensuing guilt that it inspired, that caused Pete to feel obligated to use his powers as a public service. "With great power comes great responsibility." Pete took that to heart. But, he's still the same young man who originally wanted to personally benefit from his powers. That side of his personality is still there, and there needs to be reconciliation between the "two Peter Parkers." The image below, the last one we see in the trailer, sums up every hope I have for the new movie:

It appears that Gwen Stacey is going to be introduced as a love interest for Pete as he considers this new, selfish side of his personality. I wondered how they'd do that. How do you have Spider-Man live in a world that has both Gwen AND MJ? If they do it the way I think they're going to do it, it ought to make sense. It ought to be good.

It looks like Harry is going to be the Green Goblin 2 (just like in the comics) only without that hokey armor that ruined the Goblin in the first movie. I'll never figure out why they cast Willem Dafoe, with that wonderfully expressive face of his, and then hid it behind a plastic mask. Surely they won't repeat that mistake again.

So there ya go. To the extent that there was anyone out there wondering what Darrell thought (as of now) about the upcoming Spider-Man movie, I hope I've answered all your questions. I'd write more, but I need to go play with my Venom action figure.

I also have some levitating to do.