Friday, July 14, 2006
By Special Request
Things have been a bit heavy around here, theologically speaking, for the past week. I know that I have a couple of readers (the Jambander and Rhodester, specifically) who’d like to see me return to my usual irresponsible ranting, irrational nonsense, and general idiocy.
Not that I’m saying that my attempts at apologetics haven’t included irresponsible ranting, irrational nonsense, and general idiocy… it’s just that they haven’t been the kind of nonsense and idiocy that Rhodester and the Jambander have had in mind.
So in an attempt to please all possible audiences, I’ll wrap up the week with a post that’s still biblical in tone, but undeniably irresponsible, nonsensical, and idiotic.
A Reading From The First Letter Of Darrell To The Caucasians
And it came to pass that there arose among them such a one as told many things. And some of their number called him a great prophet, and still others called him but a mediocre prophet. But many among them called him a kook.
And they did know him by his golden arches and the orange shadowing of his eyelids. And, lo, he foretold to them of many things. And they were much afraid.
So he put it before them: "Do ye not know, foolish caucasians, of the Feast of the Rave and the dropping of the ecstasy tablets? Rise, ye Caucasians, let us be on our way." And so two brothers among the Caucasians rose up, and they were Rhodester who is called Dave, and Jambander, the fisher of Phish.
And they did depart with the prophet in his 1987 Ford Escort, and they sat out for the Promised McLand, that they might partake of the Quarter Cubit Hamburger and the Gaul Fried Potatoes. And after a certain time, they departed from there for the feast of the Rave.
(I Caucasians, 7:12 – 15)
Maybe tattoo prophet guy could start a new religion altogether based upon the newly-discovered Book of Moron.
It's even more funny if you read it out loud in the voice of the guy reading from the Book of Armaments about the Holy Hand Grenade.
K has a point about the book of mormon.. er, uh.. moron.
When did I say I want you to return to your usual irreverant self? My thinking is, "Hey, if DARRELL is getting all serious then I can corner the market on silly!" Because, as you know, I suck at serious.
But seriously (HA!), I've enjoyed watching you try to validate your newly chosen path. It makes for some good reading, especially in the comments.
Which, by the way, leads me to something I must say to Pastor Scott Stigenwoofer - Pastor Scott, I've not met you or talked to you, but please believe me when I say that if there's any poking of fun at your name to be done, then I'm the guy to do it, but it's only out of admiration and respect, and you're certainly allowed.. nay, ENCOURAGED.. to reciprocate.
I hope I didn't misspell any of that.
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