Saturday, June 24, 2006
Does That Make Me Crazy?
I mentioned the other day that my favorite current hit song is Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. The chorus of the song is "Does that make me crazy?" That chorus inspired the introspection that lead to these observations about myself:
- When I pay for gas at the pump, I'm obsessive about the receipt. I always print the receipt and I always keep it on the seat beside me or on the dashboard so that I can grab it quickly. The reason for this is that I am convinced that I'll eventually be falsely accused of a gas drive off and need to be able to prove my innocence.
Whenever I hear the song "Africa" by the band Toto... and assuming that someone else is around... I always say "Did you know that this song is about David Arquette?" Usually, this just gets me a weird look... but now and then there'll be someone around who knows the real story, which is that the Toto song "Rosanna" is actually about Rosanna Arquette.
Usually, such a person will correct me and try to make me understand that I've got it wrong, but I always hold steadfast with a straight face and adamantly insist that the song "Africa" is about David Arquette. There have been a few times when I've been able to drive people into a buldge-eyed state of raging frustration with this act. Those have been among the happiest moments of my life.- When I was six years old, if a genie had shown up and granted me one wish, it would have been "Turn me into Spider-Man." I am now almost 38 years old. These days, if a genie were to show up and grant me one wish, that wish would still be "Turn me into Spider-Man." I am absolutely serious.
- When I yawn I make a horrible, hideous, terrifying gasping sound. It's the kind of sound that causes people who've never heard me yawn to jump from their chairs and ask, in absolute seriousness, if I'm going to be OK. There is nothing I can do about this. I wish I could stop making this horrible sound when I yawn, but I can't. This is just how I yawn.
- I didn't learn to swim until I was 24 years old. I was taught to swim by the guitarist from one of the worst bands I've ever heard in my life.
- I once accidentally shattered my neighbor's window by throwing an onion through it. I swear, that's the truth. I swear, it was an accident.
- One of my most deeply held beliefs is that there is no such thing as being too old to wear the Burger King paper crown.
- I have to sleep with a box-fan on... on high... year round.
Most of the songs on the radio these days suck. One especially bad song is called "Tipsy" by some moron named J-Kwon. The chorus of the song is the phrase "Everybody in the club getting tipsy" repeated about a thousand times. Because this idiot slurs his words so badly, I honestly thought for a very long time that he was singing "Irv Gotti in the club eating chips." I only found out that I was wrong a night or two ago when my wife corrected me.- I chew ice. Manically.
- I have an almost obsessive hatred of hippies. I really, really, really hate hippies. I don't hate individual people, so if I see a person who is clearly a hippie, I don't find myself thinking "I hate that person." I do, however, hate the whole hippie ethos, and the mere sight of a hippie sometimes puts me in a good, long bad mood.
- While driving, walking, etc... if I look up and make eye contact with a stranger, I'll typically wave and/or say hi. I don't think that's a big deal, but it seems like almost everyone I am currently married to thinks that it's evidence that I'm crazy.
Permalink -- Posted by Darrell at 12:26 
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The guy who plays Spiderman on Hollywood Boulevard has such an ill fitting costume, it always looks like he's just a grown-up wearing Spiderman pajamas.
I guess you COULD move out here and take over that gig from him, and that's the closest you'll get to having your Spiderman fantasy fullfilled.
PS- LA Mag had a picture of him too, but I didn't use it for that post. I'll scan it and send it to you if you'd like.
I guess you COULD move out here and take over that gig from him, and that's the closest you'll get to having your Spiderman fantasy fullfilled.
PS- LA Mag had a picture of him too, but I didn't use it for that post. I'll scan it and send it to you if you'd like.
I chew ice. I want to be Spider-man. And the other day, I imagined a grasshopper called me "mama". So take it from me, you're far from crazy.
Why on earth would you be throwing an onion in the first place. Very strange!! Not crazy... strange.
I guess Wendy has to endure the box fan on high as well as listening to you crunch ice incessantly.
She deserves much praise.
I guess Wendy has to endure the box fan on high as well as listening to you crunch ice incessantly.
She deserves much praise.
Some of those things are a little strange, and obviously, you're crazy. I just couldn't make the connection though. And you could learn to like us hippies. we're gentle, peace-loving, sandal-wearing old geezers who smell like patchouli, or in my case, ginger.
I think it's great that Mark Tremonti took time out of his busy schedule to teach you how to swim.
# posted by 
: 10:10 PM
: 10:10 PM
how hillarious...
you're lucky if your near a burger king that still gives out the crowns & i have never thought about the gas receipt thing...i might pick up that crazy habit too if i think about it too much.
--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com
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you're lucky if your near a burger king that still gives out the crowns & i have never thought about the gas receipt thing...i might pick up that crazy habit too if i think about it too much.
--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com
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