MCF has been hinting that he's done posting M.c.F.A.T. questionnaires... so for all I know, the current one might be the last one. Have we, in fact, now seen the last series of probing interrogations from the Nexus of Improbability? Only the cloaked one knows for sure.

1) What are some of your favorite season finale cliffhangers from your favorite shows over the years?

The first season finale cliffhanger I can remember... and, as far as I know, the one that established the trend wherein every show has to end each season with a cliffhanger episode... was the famous Who Shot J.R. cliffhanger episode of Dallas. When I was a kid in the summer of 1980, that was the burning question on everyone's mind. I even had one of the t-shirts pictured here.

Like I said, to my knowledge, Dallas invented the season-ending cliffhanger with that story arc. Dallas also famously turned the concept into a joke with the Season Eight Was A Dream cliffhanger resolution.

If I had to pick a favorite season ending cliffhanger, I suppose I'd pick the Who Shot Mr. Burns episode of The Simpsons. That's almost a default pick, partly because I think The Simpsons is the greatest show in the history of television and partly because it was such a funny parody of the whole season ending cliffhanger concept in the first place.

To be honest, I am not now a big TV watcher, and I never really was. I think I said once before in another M.c.F.A.T. that my favorite series finale (as opposed to season finale) would either be the last episode of Cheers or the last episode of Newhart.

I guess that, if I’m completely honest, I have to admit that I think that the season ending cliffhanger is an overdone cliché and one of the many things I don't like about television.

2) As we grow older time, at the very least by our perception of it, elapses faster and faster. True or false? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

True. Absolutely true. It just makes sense. If you're a year old, from your perspective, a year is a lifetime. By the time you're two years old, a year is only half a lifetime. By the time you're ten years old, a year is only a tenth of a lifetime. Etc, etc, etc. I don't know that it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'd guess it comes down to each person's outlook on life. I think a lot of it comes down to the attitude we choose to adopt. There are some people who are very old, chronologically, who are more alive than most teenagers.

3) What do you remember about your first day of school?

I had a Fat Albert lunch box... and, surprise, surprise! I was able to find a picture of the very one on the internet. Wow. Now that brings back some memories. Remember when lunchboxes were aluminum instead of plastic or vinyl? Those things were big and heavy, and you could really do some serious damage to the back of another kid's head with one of those.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My first day of school revolved around my Fat Albert lunch box. The first thing I can remember happening was that right after we got to our classroom, the kid who sat in front of me turned around and told me that my Fat Albert lunch box was stupid.

What would you have done? Honestly, what choice did I have?

I picked up my Fat Albert lunch box and smashed him right in the back of the head with it.

Look, it was the first day in a new situation. A whole new culture, new turf to be staked out and divided up, new pecking orders to establish... the whole Lord of the Flies thing, right? I knew that there was basically little chance of me being the alpha male of Mrs. Anderson's class, but I was absolutely NOT going to be the painted bird, either. The kid who sat in front of me had to see that I wasn't going to let him call my Fat Albert lunch box stupid and get away with it. If I'd let that coast, what would have been next? Would he have told me that my Speedbuggy t-shirt was stupid, too? Didn't kids like him always eventually tell you that your Speedbuggy t-shirt was stupid unless you stopped them in their tracks? Had we learned anything from history if we'd not learned that?

So I clocked him. And I got sent to the office for it. I can't remember what my punishment was, but it didn't involve a Turkish prison sentence, so I think I made out OK.

Anyway, that day at lunch I decided that I didn't want to drink all of my carton of chocolate milk. So I closed it up and put it in my lunchbox. By the time we got back to the classroom, I'd left a trail of chocolate milk all the way from the cafeteria. The teacher freaked. Finally, once she calmed down, she explained to all of us that if we weren't going to finish our chocolate milk, we'd have to throw it away.

It wasn't the best day I ever spent in the public school system... and yet it really wasn't that different from all the ones that followed it, either.

4) What's the best thing to put on ice cream?

Magic Shell. Twix Magic Shell.

5) How do you defend the things you enjoy?

With my Fat Albert lunchbox.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: Who is Liddy Wales?

Are we sure that's a who rather than a where? Is Liddy Wales the person who shot J.R.?

Man, I have no idea. Let me look into it.

OK, a quick look at Google Image Search for the search term Liddy Wales brings up, among other things, a picture of this guy. Therefore, the correct answer to the question "Who is Liddy Wales?" would have to be "This guy." I hope this resolves the matter. Let us never speak of it again.