Well, I started out with the best of intentions.


I've always heard about giving up something for Lent, and since Wendy and I are new Catholic converts (we'll be confirmed in little more than a week), I decided I'd try it. I started out with intentions of giving up some kind of food. That's what most people do, right? Give up chocolate, give up cola, give up coffee, etc. Go forty days without something you crave and enjoy and become a better person in the process. Sounds good, I can do that. Right?


When I first started talking about giving something up, Wendy challenged me to abstain from using the PC for Lent. I balked at first, but then I thought about it. Wendy didn't think I could go without using the PC. I decided that I'd show her. I'd prove that I can go without the PC, or anything else for that matter. I'm my own man! What's the old phrase from Seinfeld? I'm Master of my Domain! Yeah, that's it. No PC? No problem! I can do that easily.


So I posted a blog entry the day before Ash Wednesday, declaring my intentions to be PC-free until after Easter.


The first week wasn't bad. I'd subliminally find myself going to check the e-mail or making a note to myself to look something up at Google News... and then I'd remember my Lenten fast from the PC, chuckle to myself, and congratulate myself on my amazing will-power and self control.


By the second week....


OK, you want to know the truth?


By the second week, I was feeling kind of stupid.


The thing is, it really wasn't that bad. Friends would phone or send Wendy an e-mail asking how I was "holding up," and she'd kinda shrug and say "He's doing fine." She'd leave it at that because... well, that really was all there was to say on the matter.


I wasn't going out of my mind with boredom. I didn't feel "out of the loop." I wasn't going through withdraw or overcome by cravings. I hadn't resorted to lurking behind the couch, watching Wendy check the e-mail, saying stuff like "My precious... terrible wifsey has it... and I wants it back!" None of that. I was just living my life like a normal person who doesn't use the PC.


Yes, it's possible to skip the e-universe. Not only that, it's easy.


Now here are the caveats:


There were a few times when Wendy printed out news stories or e-mails from friends for me. She knew I'd want to know about the South Dakota abortion law, so she printed that story for me. She also printed a few articles about topics I'd developed a sudden interest in. I took the printouts to work with me and read them during my spare time.


She also kept me informed about the kind comments some of you left at that last post. Thanks, guys. Jerry, Rhodester, MCF, hearing that you guys had stopped by just to leave a comment now and then made me all... what's the word, Dave? Verklempt.


Wendy told me that MCF got a kick out of the fact that I'd given up computers but I was still playing the Xbox. Well, I didn't say that I was giving up everything computerized. If I did that, I wouldn't be able to drive my car, use our microwave, etc. I was just giving up the PC... mainly because of my compulsive blogging, blog-reading, and news-following. I never intended to go "computer-free" for all of Lent. I just intended to skip out on using our old Dell... the one I'm typing on right now.


So, yeah, I did use computers "of a kind." I did play video games and watch DVDs and yadda, yadda, yadda. But I didn't use the PC, and I congratulated myself repeatedly on my self control. Every time a friend or co-worker told me how "strong" I was I'd puff my chest up a bit and say yeah, it ain't easy, but it's worth it because I'm becoming so much better, getting so much out of it, etc, etc.


And the ugly truth is, it was all BS.


It hit me today like a ton of bricks. I have gotten NOTHING out of skipping PC use. In fact, if anything, it had a negative effect on me. I actually allowed this trivial bit of "abstinence" to turn into a point of pride. Somehow, I managed to turn myself into my own personal Jesus. Big, brave me... I haven't looked at the daily news at imdb in more than a month.


Man, I feel so stupid. I ascribe to a religion prescribes kindness, charity, and love as the cure for the world's ills... and I've thought I was doing my part by getting my news from the TV instead of the PC.


Now, I will admit that I did do a few things right over the past month. I have gotten into a bit more of a regular routine of prayer, and I've really learned personally about the positive meditative effects of praying the Rosary. I've also spent more time with the family, and that's always good. But, for the most part, what I "gave up" for Lent amounted to nothing. I skipped out on one of my hobbies and indulged the others all the more. I played video games, watched movies, read books... and I congratulated myself on how selfless I am.


There's a couple at church who Wendy and I have really gotten to know and like. John and Debbie. We were talking to them about Lent a week or two ago and John told us that Debbie never gives up anything for Lent. Instead, she tries to take on something extra... some sort of act of kindness and good will toward others that she normally tells herself she doesn't have time for.


It's noteworthy that it was John who passed on this little fact about his wife. Debbie didn't tell us herself. If she had, that would have defeated the purpose. She isn't doing her Lenten good deed for personal glory. That's the whole point.


And so, shamefacedly, I return to the blogosphere, having benefited in no real way from my PC abstinence. I'm making a point of returning BEFORE Lent is over, lest anyone congratulate me on actually pulling it off. I don't want to be congratulated on having done nothing worth mentioning. I don't deserve even light-hearted congratulations. I deserve to be mocked. Picked on. Made fun of.


So commence with the ridicule... but please keep it fairly light, huh? As of this second, I feel pretty stupid as it is.