Super Bowl Extra Large is history. And, it was such an exceptional ..... yaaaaawn... viewing experience. Here's a quick wrap-up, in case you missed it... or missed some of it... or just weren't able to stay awake as it drug on and on and on and on...

Aretha has lost it. It pains me greatly to say that, but it's just a fact. Aretha doesn't sound like Aretha anymore. This former vocal goddess who could (in her prime) sing the phone book and make people weep, is (alas) way past her prime. It was painful to listen to her singing half the National Anthem, a job she shared with Aaron Neville. Neville, by the way, sounded even worse. The game began with Aretha's weak, sluggish, sloppy performance... and the tone she set was never changed.

Here's Hans Blix (I think that's what they said his name was), the guy named Most Valuable Player of the game by the NFL. He did score one big touchdown with what I had to admit was a beautiful catch, and nobody can take that away from him. Korean Americans are proud this morning as one of their own does well. That's fine with me. America is all about opportunity, and it still brings a bit of a tear to my eye to see immigrants and their descendents living the dream. I just wish he'd been able to find WMDs in Iraq.

Two of the biggest names in popular music proved that they're more than just pop stars. Rapper 50 Cent and Metallica's guitarist Kirk Hammett helped their team push on to victory last night. I guess they did, anyway. They didn't seem to have shown up for the first half, and by the second half I was too distracted by the officiating to really pay any attention to the players. However, I'm told that Kirk Hammett's fans are very happy this morning, so I'm happy for them. And 50 Cent's fans are, I'm sure, happy that he has brought his eloquence to the NFL.

Here's Rolling Stones' guitarist Keith Richards, experiencing a "flesh malfunction" during the Super Bowl halftime show. After Janet Jackson controversial display during halftime a couple of years ago, the NFL seems hell-bent on playing it safe. Last year they drug the corpse of Paul McCartney on stage for a rollicking rendition of some of his best known hits from the 1930's. This year it was the granddaddy's granddaddy of rock bands, the Rolling Stones. The whole time they were on stage I kept expecting Bruce Campbell as Ash from the Evil Dead movies to show up and chase those British zombies out of the stadium. Mick Jagger has always been creepy, but watching him pout and preen now that he's in his late '90's is just beyond the pale. He looks like a Wes Craven creation. Is there anyone left who still enjoys these old farts? If so, why?

Here's the play of the game, "Big Ben" Roethlisberger's drive for six points, completed with an assist from referee Bill Leavy. I'll give credit where it's due, almost all of the Pittsburgh fans I know have had the good sense and good taste to admit that, no, this was NOT a completed touchdown. Roethlisberger fell several inches behind the goal line. His arms were down, clearly on green turf. Then, after he was clearly down, he slid his arm (and the ball) into the white, across the goal line, for the... ahem, touchdown. If that's what you want to call it. It'll be disputed for years. Nonetheless, watch the play during one of the many chances you'll have this week. Watch "Big Ben's" facial expression. He knows what he's doing. He knows he's guilty. Guilt was written all over his face. I've only seen guilt written that obviously on a football player's face once before in my life.

And here's the real Most Valuable Player of the game, Referee Bill Leavy, who scored the first touchdown of the game (for Pittsburgh) and set the tone for the Steeler's victory. I'm surprised he was able to stop waving his terrible towel long enough to come out on the field and announce his decision.

And, with that, another Super Bowl is in the books. Both teams were as sluggish and sloppy as Aretha was at the game's beginning. One of them had to win, however, and during the second half, Pittsburgh stepped up and cashed in on the momentum that Leavy guaranteed them. Whoopie.

The irony is that I went into the game pulling for Pittsburgh, and once it became obvious that the officials were pulling for them, too, my allegiance changed. I just didn't care to see a team win that way. Like I said before, it speaks well for the Pittsburgh fans I know that they're as unhappy about the lopsidedness as I was.

All of which reminds me why I only force myself to sit through one NFL game each year.