One of the first things I discovered when I got internet access was Babelfish, the free internet translation service at altavista.com.

Being something of an amateur student of languages, I was amazed and amused by the notion that a software program could actually translate languages, one to another. I think this is an instance where a computer simply can't take the place of a real human, mainly because of context. Words in and of themselves might have literal translations from one language to another, but concepts such as context and colloquialism are nuanced things, and they're beyond the grasp of software.

When I first discovered Babelfish, I tried to translate some foreign websites and read the translations, and of course it never quite worked right. The very first thing I tried to translate was a German review of a movie. In that instance, and in all others, I could usually get the gist of what I was reading... but so much of it was just confusing, obtuse, and downright funny.

So I ended up with a hobby that I still occasionally enjoy. What I'll do is take a bit of English text and go to Babelfish and translate it to another language. Then, I'll translate it back to English again, just to see how much gets lost in the journey. Sometimes... in fact, quite often... the end result is something that I find very funny.

Now, granted, my sense of humor is pretty weird... but from time to time I still do this and I end up getting a big laugh out of it.

This evening, I translated the lyrics to one of my favorite old heavy metal songs to German... and then translated it back to English.

First of all, here are the real lyrics to "Peace Sells... But Who's Buying" by Megadeth:

What do you mean, I don’t believe in God?
I talk to him every day.
What do you mean, I don’t support your system?
I go to court when I have to.
What do you mean, I can’t get to work on time?
I got nothing better to do
And, what do you mean, I don’t pay my bills?
Why do you think I’m broke? huh?

What do you mean, I hurt your feelings?
I didn’t know you had any feelings.
What do you mean, I ain’t kind?
I’m just not your kind.
What do you mean, I couldn’t be president, of the United States of America?
Tell me something, it’s still we the people, right?

If there’s a new way I’ll be the first in line, but, it better work this time.

Can you put a price on peace?
Peace sells, but who’s buying?

I used Babelfish to translate those lyrics to German... and then cut and pasted the German "version" of the lyrics and translated them back to English. Here's what Babelfish came up with. I find it funnier if you imagine it being read... or sung... with a German accent:

What do you, I mean do, not to believe in God?
I speak with him each day
Which mean you, I carry out not support your system?
I go umwerben when I must.
What do you, I mean can not receive to work in time?
I did not receive anything better to do and,
What you mean, payment my calculations does not do me?
Why do you think me are broke? huh?

What do you, I mean hurt your feelings?
I did not know that you had all possible feelings.
What do you, I mean are not friendly?
I am not fair your kind.
What do you, I mean could not president, the States of America be?
Do you explain to me somewhat, it are still we the people, right?

If there is a new way, which is I first in the line, but, she better work of this times.

You can, set a price on peace?
Peace sales, but who has the purchase?

Again... my sense of humor is weird. I freely admit that. Still, it cracks me up.

Just to "share my joy," here are a few quotes from some of my favorite bloggers. I know when I start this that I'm going to leave out a favorite blogger or two and not remember it until later tonight when I get to work and can't do anything about it... so this might be only the first installment. Click the links below if you want to see the original text that I pulled a quote from and put through Babelfish's cheesegrater.

The Chronicles of Rhodester, From English to Italian and Back Again:

To exceed it outside, they are ill. I mean the SICK one. They have been from it for approximately three days but we do not obtain the days becomes ill to you so as to I do not call outside because I have need of the moneies, particularly with Been born them that it appears in distance to right around to the angle. Hour they are loaded in on on the medicine and Ibuprofen of cough, so as to I think the kind of floaty. I am going to go floating I withdraw me to the front part of the construction and try to send to the more interesting things this fine week if I think until it.

Jamie Dawn goes to Germany... then heads back home:

When I was small, my parents arranged, so that a friend above as if sank dresses and to the house comes. I was in my area, dressed, in PJs and, when I heard a loud, "Ho, Ho, Ho lucky in played!" Come down the Hallway. I froze rigid. Sank came, bursting into my area and frightened the Pipi from me!

MCF goes Greek and comes back:

Him I remember that is relaxed, and that plays with, and that has that custard from a thread for the longest-lasting time. Then one morning I called upset in mom my that it had devolved to my bowl Cheerios.

The Unseen Blogger's Round Trip to Portugal:

The last night, mine and the sample of tevê of the reality that I can tolerate finally had only come to a head. In Martha Stewart, the apprentice, the bastard Jim was retroceded FINALLY is of the sample. Good! I could not be this doofus underhanded.

Das Wrighten Jerry - The English-German-English Connection:

I could connect with any of these tragic applicable stories, but you cannot swing psycho, after Hawaii threatening a baby on a flight, without striking these and a ton of other depressing stories.

Where Have You Gone, Ronald Reagan? Why, To France And Back!

Snoop Dogg was in the past an active member of troop of Crip. It claims that Tookie helped to include/understand the cycle of the violence which the troops support and support. Did the dog of Snoop give up the violence of troop and its association with Crips?

And last but not least, my wife exposes her German-American roots:

I am really tired from the complete hoopla, which is referred on the people, which more glad Christmas not to memory says. It is not honest the end of the world. Christmas will not disappear. People will not those to recognize birth of Christian or from nothing to to stop. If you liked to receive a tilting over something, receive to tilting over that verflixten top side down Christmas trees, because they are terrible.

I'll do more quotes from more of my favorite blogs if anyone else (besides me and Wendy) think this is funny.

Labels: Blogs, Humor, Lost In Translation