Thursday, August 11, 2005
Under The Knife On Monday
Well, it's official. My back is wrecked. I'm having surgery Monday morning.
Today I went and met with my surgeon, Dr. Vascik, and I was very reassured when I met him because he looks a great deal like George C. Scott. Like any redblooded American male, I'm very comfortable with the notion of George C. Scott operating on my back. If I get to the hospital and find out the anesthesiologist looks like Charles Bronson, things will be all the better. It's nice to know that, no matter what, if Nazis or street punks storm the operating room during my surgery, I'll be in good hands.
Dr Vascik went over my MRI with me and showed me the pictures of my messed up lumbar. The MRI pictures where the problem was most obvious (to my layman's eye) were the ones that appeared to be in cross-section. The healthy lumbar looked kinda like donuts. The messed up lumbar looked like a donut with a cruller growing out of it. All in all, the whole process made me hungry.
Which reminds me, Dr. Vascik told me that if I don't lose some weight, I'll have this problem again eventually. I think he's a good doctor, anyway. I started to ask him for a second opinion, but I was afraid he'd say "OK, you're fat and stupid."
Anyhow, if I don't do much posting after Monday for a while, that's why. As an aside to my Christian friends, if you happen to mention me in your prayers, that would really be great. To my Buddhist, Wiccan, or otherwise heathen friends, if you could do a chant or perform some odd interpretive dance in my honor, that would be really cool, too.
...so I'll just say a prayer for you.
And maybe Dave and I will paint our faces and do a little chant.
Go-george-c-scott
Go-george-c-scott
Go-george-c-scott
GOOO-OOOO!
Best wishes- and if you ever want to lose weight just re-read my post on octopus tentacles.
She's just not letting me use that as an excuse for not going to some weird place called Re-Jive that she keeps trying to drag me to.
I mean, really - "Re-Jive"? I couldn't Jive the first time and now they want me to do it again?!?!?!?!
Plus, I think it might be against my religion to go anywhere with such a hokey name.
So far I've dodge the Jive bullet thanks to timing and other commitments. But that's not going to hold up forever.
Maybe I'll tell her that in support of Darrell, I'm not dancing until his back is completely healed...
But when the expiration date on that excuse comes, I'll just have to go and embarrass myself (and her too).
I said a prayer, danced, chanted, lit candles, and fasted for one hour in your honor.
I believe all will go well.
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