I’ve been watching crap TV lately, and I’m ashamed of that. Along with having been sucked into Wendy’s American Idol fixation, I’ve also been watching garbage on MTV and VH1.


As far as American Idol is concerned, I’ll predict now that David Cassidy… oops, I mean Constantine Maroulis… will stick around for some time, and he doesn’t deserve to. My wife calls him “dreamy.” Whatever. The guy can’t sing. Scott Savol, who on the other hand can sing really well, but looks like a baboon’s butt, will probably be voted off early on. I hope I’m wrong. We’ll see.

On MTV (or was it MTV2? Whichever.) I saw The Cure’s Icon Tribute. I was a big Cure fan when I was younger, and the show brought back a lot of memories. In fact, I’m looking forward to dragging out some old Cure albums and listening to them. The show itself wasn’t that great, although the Deftones did a stellar performance of one of my favorite, more obscure songs, “If Only Tonight We Could Sleep.” That performance alone was worth seeing.

On VH1 I saw an amazingly insulting show called… brace yourself… “BLACKAPHOBIA!” Yep, it was all about the evils of the white man and his whitey white culture and his whitey white whiteness, and how we’re all too busy suppressing the brotha man to ever examine how we’re both keeping down the brotha man’s culture AND SIMULTANIOUSLY ripping off the brotha man’s culture. The show featured interviews with prominent black sociologists, like The RZA and members of Outkast. At one point, they all talked about how White America would collapse if they ever admitted that Jesus was… gasp…. BLACK! One of the astute social observers on the show said that the only thing that White Amerikkka fears more than the idea of a black Jesus is death itself!

Amen, brotha! Stick it to da man! We ain’t be goin’ out like dat, you know what I’m sayin’? Snap!

Just a note to the cast of BLACKAPHOBIA! Look, you idiots, in the first place, Jesus was probably a great deal darker than the iconic “surfer-Jesus” pictures we all are familiar with. In fact, he probably looked more like Cat Stevens than Jim Caviezel. Just for the record, though, I’m fine with that. It doesn’t matter. You know why? Because, as a Christian, I believe that Christ offered me redemption from my own sins. Mine. My personal ones. I don’t need to shoulder the burdens of the sins, real or imagined, of any whole race of people. When you turn Jesus into a token of race-related political bating, you miss the whole point and you trivialize my faith. So, yes, I’m offended by the things you were suggesting… not because of the notion that Jesus was black, but because of the notion that the color of Jesus’ skin is important enough to discuss. It isn’t, and the color of his skin neither invalidates my salvation, nor validates your position as an angry, hateful, liberal moron.

By the way, I'd like to see a network do a show called "WHITEAPHOBIA," wherein white celebrities sat around and talked about how their tired of being misjudged and portrayed as villians by blacks. How long do you think it would take until there was rioting in the streets? Until the first commercial break? Maybe?

So there.

Man, I gotta go back to just watching the Discovery Channel.