n Based on a thorough, concise, and highly scientific poll conducted by Wendy and me over the weekend, I now predict that the president is going to win the election with about 58% of the popular vote.

This prediction is based on a poll conducted by counting Bush and Kerry bumper stickers and yard signs on the way to pick up my son on Friday and then on the way to drop him off with his mother again on Sunday evening. The results were as follows:

Candidates for President
George W. Bush: 23 bumper stickers and/or signs
John F. Kerry: 17 bumper stickers and/or signs
Charlton Heston: 1 bumper sticker
Willie By-God Nelson: 1 bumper sticker

Most of the cars we saw with bumper stickers were, sadly, cars of the “single sticker” variety. Wendy and I are both bumper-sticker type people. We wear our politics on our sleeves… or, rather, on our cars. I guess it’s a holdover from my days as an avid punk rock fan and Wendy’s days on tour with Phish. (No kidding. My girlfriend is a reformed Phish fan. Go figure.)

Anyway, being bumper sticker fans ourselves, we both enjoy seeing cars with a few stickers to read and talk about. To prove my status as a proud bumper sticker displayer, here are a couple of pictures of the back bumper of the Geo Metro that I drive to work every day...

This is on the bumper to the left of the license plate:


And this is on the bumper to the right:


I figure those stickers entitle me to conduct highly scientific bumper sticker polls. By the way, we didn’t count the Bush/Cheney stickers on either of our own cars. We’d have used them for tie-breakers, but it wasn’t necessary.

I missed a lot of internet time over the last week, as I was trying to work some overtime and catch up on my lost wages. Now that I’ve had time to read some of the blogging I’ve been missing out on, I see that it’s been a busy week with lots to talk about. Just a couple of other items that I noticed as well:

n One of my literary heroes is Kurt Vonnegut. In fact, it’s safe to call the guy my favorite writer. I’ve always liked the way he combines humor, science fiction, and utopian dreams of a society where things like family and common decency are of the utmost importance. His books mean the world to me. So I should have known that when he opened his mouth about politics, I’d be bummed out:

Nobody needs to tell Kurt Vonnegut to stop beating around the Bush. "They're adroit criminals," the 81-year-old literary lion labeled President Bush and his underlings while riding in a taxi with Lowdown's Hudson Morgan to Wednesday night's 27th anniversary party for In These Times, the paleoliberal magazine.

I found that quote while searching the net for quotes or passages from Vonnegut. Wendy and I are getting married next month, and our mutual love of Kurt Vonnegut’s work was the initial bond that helped form our early friendship. We decided that we’d like to have our minister include a passage from Vonnegut in the ceremony, if we could find something appropriate. Instead, I found the quote above. I also found this item by Cathy Young:

How many German soldiers did the Nazis prosecute for torturing and killing Jews? The question is so ludicrous it's obscene -- just like Vonnegut's next barb: "Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler." Besides its venom and extremism, Vonnegut's rant is notable for its utter lack of recognition of any evil except America. In his world, there seems to be no terrorism, no Islamo-fascism, no regimes that brutalize their own people and pose a threat to others. For me, a longtime admirer of Vonnegut's novels such as "Cat's Cradle," the article was a painful read.

I can relate, Cathy. The old guy’s work has been comforting and reassuring to me in the past. Doesn’t it suck when our heroes, with their own short-sightedness, reveal themselves to be only human after all?

n I also came across an article about my pal Michael Moore by by Nolan Scaperotti. I knew I’d like it from the opening paragraph:

Michael Moore calls himself a man of the people, so it seems odd that throughout his career he has demonstrated that he has no respect for the people he works with, the innocent victims he slanders in his films, and the audience to which he broadcasts his “documentaries.” Actually, the man seems to have respect for no one other than himself.

There’s nothing startlingly new in the article; at least, nothing that will come as news to those of us who try to watch the Michigan sleezebag’s every move… nonetheless, it’s nice to see someone else wake up to reality of the evil that is Michael Moore.

And by the way, I've decided to put and honest-to-God picture of myself at the top of this blog. I'm big on protecting my anonymity, and I'd been rotating the covers of favorite albums as the top graphic. Not any more. I'm out of my shell. The grinning idiot wearing bibbed overalls in the blurry picture at the top of the right column is yours truly.