Saturday, August 12, 2006
Theatrical Review: The Descent
Statistics show that the movie industry cranks out a new horror film every 40.7 seconds. They throw 'em together like Big Macs and serve 'em up to an unthinking, uncaring audience. In our death-obsessed culture, horror films are the artistic equivalent of fast food. All filler, no substance… cheap, processed, unexceptional and bad for you.
And then there are films like The Descent.
Seeing The Descent is like enjoying a gourmet meal at a restaurant that usually serves junk food. This is the kind of film that reminds me why I will not settle for substandard horror movies. This one is good. Very good. It's a keeper, and I can't wait for repeated viewings on DVD.
Now, notice that I said that The Descent is good. I didn't say that it was pleasant. I didn't say that it was nice. It's not. This is that rarest of rarities; a horror film that's actually scary. In fact, The Descent is downright upsetting at times.
And, like the best horror movies, The Descent is a roller coaster. It works best when you don't see the curves coming. That's why I'm going out of my way not to give anything away in this review. I encourage horror fans to go out of their way to learn as little as possible about this movie before you see it. Don't go on line and watch the preview; the preview gives far too much away. Don't read detailed reviews or opinions on the internet. I'm not even including my usual IMDb link in this review because even the basic page there simply gives away too much. See this movie with all of it's scares left intact. They are worth savoring.
All you need to know about the plot is this bare-bones outline: Five adventure-seeking female friends from the UK go to visit an American friend for a caving expedition. Shortly after they enter the cave, a rock slide traps them inside. Fear and confusion lead to panic and paranoia, and maybe to delusions. Soon, the women are as motivated by long held, unspoken grudges (both major and trivial) as they are by the drive to survive. And, just as it seems that things couldn't get any worse, things literally go all to hell.
So what can I tell you about The Descent that might make you want to see it without giving away too much of the plot? I can tell you that The Descent is
I've carefully thought about all of those superlative statements before posting them in this review, and each of them is honest and accurate. I've seen scarier films than The Descent, (such as The Exorcist and Alien) but that's a short list and I never saw any of those films in the theater. I was too young when they were released. Comparing this film to The Exorcism of Emily Rose (my favorite film from last year) is also valid because this movie really is smart and razor-sharp, just like E of ER. It's that good. I'm going to have to rethink my list of my favorite horror films. The Descent belongs on it somewhere.
My recommendation does come with two caveats, though.
For one thing, this is a very gory film. If strong, bloody violence isn't your thing, you might not want to see The Descent. Having said that, let me also say that I've made it clear how I feel about gore porn, and this is not a gore-porn film. This is a movie with a real story, believable and interesting characters, and not one second of gratuity. There is a great deal of gore, but all of it is natural and organic to the story. Had this story been told without gore, it wouldn't have worked.
Beyond that, I have a very specific complaint with the film regarding four exact instances of dialogue. These four instances of dialogue were so bad, so silly, that I'm withholding a star from what I'd otherwise consider a flawless film.
I'm not going to mention three of those instances here in this review because to do so would be to give away intricacies of the plot. I will mention one of them, though: I, for one, would like to call a moratorium on the use of the word "Shyte" in films featuring characters from the UK. Can't movie makers come up with some other contrivance to convey to us that a given character is trendy, hip Euro-trash? The "Shyte" pronunciation of the word "sh*t" has been done to death. It's clichéd, it's a cheap gimmick, and I'm tired of it. So I'm officially putting moviemakers everywhere on notice: cut the shyte.
Now, if you've seen the film and you want to know what my other three complaints were, you can click the link at the end of this paragraph. Let me restate, though, that I can't voice those complaints without giving away significant elements of the plot… so DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM.
No, The Descent is not flawless. However, it is a genre masterpiece, and it's as good as (or better than) any horror movie that's been released in the past fifteen years. If scare-fests are your thing, go see The Descent. Buy your ticket, get your popcorn, and brace yourself for one hell of a white-knuckle drop.
¶ 3:58 PM
Statistics show that the movie industry cranks out a new horror film every 40.7 seconds. They throw 'em together like Big Macs and serve 'em up to an unthinking, uncaring audience. In our death-obsessed culture, horror films are the artistic equivalent of fast food. All filler, no substance… cheap, processed, unexceptional and bad for you.And then there are films like The Descent.
Seeing The Descent is like enjoying a gourmet meal at a restaurant that usually serves junk food. This is the kind of film that reminds me why I will not settle for substandard horror movies. This one is good. Very good. It's a keeper, and I can't wait for repeated viewings on DVD.
Now, notice that I said that The Descent is good. I didn't say that it was pleasant. I didn't say that it was nice. It's not. This is that rarest of rarities; a horror film that's actually scary. In fact, The Descent is downright upsetting at times.
And, like the best horror movies, The Descent is a roller coaster. It works best when you don't see the curves coming. That's why I'm going out of my way not to give anything away in this review. I encourage horror fans to go out of their way to learn as little as possible about this movie before you see it. Don't go on line and watch the preview; the preview gives far too much away. Don't read detailed reviews or opinions on the internet. I'm not even including my usual IMDb link in this review because even the basic page there simply gives away too much. See this movie with all of it's scares left intact. They are worth savoring.
All you need to know about the plot is this bare-bones outline: Five adventure-seeking female friends from the UK go to visit an American friend for a caving expedition. Shortly after they enter the cave, a rock slide traps them inside. Fear and confusion lead to panic and paranoia, and maybe to delusions. Soon, the women are as motivated by long held, unspoken grudges (both major and trivial) as they are by the drive to survive. And, just as it seems that things couldn't get any worse, things literally go all to hell. So what can I tell you about The Descent that might make you want to see it without giving away too much of the plot? I can tell you that The Descent is
- The best flat-out scare-fest of a movie I've seen since Signs in 2002.
- The most unsettling movie I've seen since Se7en in 1995.
- The best written, directed and acted horror film I've seen since 1991's The Silence Of The Lambs.
- As smart and observant about human nature as last year's brilliant, dread-tinged The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
- The scariest movie I've ever seen in a theater.
I've carefully thought about all of those superlative statements before posting them in this review, and each of them is honest and accurate. I've seen scarier films than The Descent, (such as The Exorcist and Alien) but that's a short list and I never saw any of those films in the theater. I was too young when they were released. Comparing this film to The Exorcism of Emily Rose (my favorite film from last year) is also valid because this movie really is smart and razor-sharp, just like E of ER. It's that good. I'm going to have to rethink my list of my favorite horror films. The Descent belongs on it somewhere.
My recommendation does come with two caveats, though.
For one thing, this is a very gory film. If strong, bloody violence isn't your thing, you might not want to see The Descent. Having said that, let me also say that I've made it clear how I feel about gore porn, and this is not a gore-porn film. This is a movie with a real story, believable and interesting characters, and not one second of gratuity. There is a great deal of gore, but all of it is natural and organic to the story. Had this story been told without gore, it wouldn't have worked.
Beyond that, I have a very specific complaint with the film regarding four exact instances of dialogue. These four instances of dialogue were so bad, so silly, that I'm withholding a star from what I'd otherwise consider a flawless film.
I'm not going to mention three of those instances here in this review because to do so would be to give away intricacies of the plot. I will mention one of them, though: I, for one, would like to call a moratorium on the use of the word "Shyte" in films featuring characters from the UK. Can't movie makers come up with some other contrivance to convey to us that a given character is trendy, hip Euro-trash? The "Shyte" pronunciation of the word "sh*t" has been done to death. It's clichéd, it's a cheap gimmick, and I'm tired of it. So I'm officially putting moviemakers everywhere on notice: cut the shyte. Now, if you've seen the film and you want to know what my other three complaints were, you can click the link at the end of this paragraph. Let me restate, though, that I can't voice those complaints without giving away significant elements of the plot… so DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM.
No, The Descent is not flawless. However, it is a genre masterpiece, and it's as good as (or better than) any horror movie that's been released in the past fifteen years. If scare-fests are your thing, go see The Descent. Buy your ticket, get your popcorn, and brace yourself for one hell of a white-knuckle drop.
¶ 3:58 PM
Comments:
If I ever see Dave again, I'll insist that we see this together, in a theatre. Otherwise,it would be a missed opportunity to drive my fingernails through someone's palm and get away with it
Someone was telling me how good this was at a bbq this weekend. I had seen the trailer a while back, and from what I remember I think it was spoilery toward the end. I wish marketers would have more faith in the audience. You can tease us without showing us everything. They had me at six women spelunking; I didn't need to see what they encountered.
That's an awesome poster too. Love how they form the skull. This might be a DVD viewing for me with my current schedule, but I definitely will catch it one way or the other.
Would you believe The Blair Witch Project was my scariest theatrical experience? Maybe because I've gone camping before and allowed myself to be immersed in it. I don't see much horror in the theaters and the last movies I saw from the genre I guess were Silent Hill or Freddy vs. Jason. Freddy and Jason are such cultural icons now that it becomes an entertaining cartoon formula, with some startling moments and gore, but no fear. Silent Hill I was somewhat prepared for having played the second game, but it still managed to create a horrifying dilemma for the characters, especially every time they shifted realities from a bad plane to a worse one.
Actually, I just remembered my real scariest theatrical experience: Event Horizon. Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne are on a spacecraft in deep space where they basically open a door into HELL. Very creepy, made worse by the fact that I was ON a camping trip at the time, and had to then drive back from town to our campsite and sleep in the pitch black woods. Way scarier than Blair Witch, which I doubt would hold up on a second viewing.
That's an awesome poster too. Love how they form the skull. This might be a DVD viewing for me with my current schedule, but I definitely will catch it one way or the other.
Would you believe The Blair Witch Project was my scariest theatrical experience? Maybe because I've gone camping before and allowed myself to be immersed in it. I don't see much horror in the theaters and the last movies I saw from the genre I guess were Silent Hill or Freddy vs. Jason. Freddy and Jason are such cultural icons now that it becomes an entertaining cartoon formula, with some startling moments and gore, but no fear. Silent Hill I was somewhat prepared for having played the second game, but it still managed to create a horrifying dilemma for the characters, especially every time they shifted realities from a bad plane to a worse one.
Actually, I just remembered my real scariest theatrical experience: Event Horizon. Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne are on a spacecraft in deep space where they basically open a door into HELL. Very creepy, made worse by the fact that I was ON a camping trip at the time, and had to then drive back from town to our campsite and sleep in the pitch black woods. Way scarier than Blair Witch, which I doubt would hold up on a second viewing.
MCF: That's an awesome poster too. Love how they form the skull.
Yeah, it's basically a tribute to (or rip-off of, depending on your point of view) a Dali portrait. Good stuff, either way.
I'm a defender of The Blair Witch Project. I think it's a good movie; it is what it is and it does what it's supposed to do. It's a good, creepy, moody little film, and it scared me like I'd hoped it would.
I didn't care for Event Horizon... but I saw it on the small screen. Movies are always different on the small screen than they are on the big screen, especially horror. I'm sure I'll get hits for this review once The Descent hits DVD from people who don't see what I saw in it.
Yeah, it's basically a tribute to (or rip-off of, depending on your point of view) a Dali portrait. Good stuff, either way.
I'm a defender of The Blair Witch Project. I think it's a good movie; it is what it is and it does what it's supposed to do. It's a good, creepy, moody little film, and it scared me like I'd hoped it would.
I didn't care for Event Horizon... but I saw it on the small screen. Movies are always different on the small screen than they are on the big screen, especially horror. I'm sure I'll get hits for this review once The Descent hits DVD from people who don't see what I saw in it.
I just saw this last night and I absolutely loved it. It's scary, bloody and completely satisfying. It's great to see that the well made genre film is still alive and kicking. By the way, I caught the British version of this so I didn't have be insulted with the watered down American ending.
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